Thanks for the advice doppleganga...
It doesn't bother me all the time and it's not always severe, but on occasion it can be really bad...hurts just to hang down...I never know if I should stay in the boxers to give it freedom, or go for the boxer-briefs to keep it from moving around so much lol...I just remembered reading that I should wear loose clothing, but letting it move around is painful too lmao...
My main pain stems from my spine/back problems...
My neck is always killing me, but my MRI came back completely normal...getting those results made me go hysterical to the point that I asked to be put on something for anxiety and depression...it's just like..."what the fuck is wrong with me? why do I hurt like this if it looks perfectly fine?" I guess my neck hurts so badly from the kyphosis pushing my thoracic spine forward so my neck is always making a 75-90 degree turn so that my head can be held up...I dunno though...I'm in so much pain though, I'm just kinda hoping for a terminal diagnosis of some sort, so that it will end soon...
that's bad, I know, and I know this is probably TDS shit, so I apologize, but the past few weeks, different ways of ending things just keep popping up in my head...dousing myself in gasoline and striking a match...waiting til I turn 21 and getting a bottle of crown black and a handgun (although, I guess I'd have to wait a week)...getting a shotgun the next time I have the cash to do so (Hemingway method)...ordering some syringes, and getting enough MS-Contin/other opioid...getting super throwed and slitting the wrist in the tub...throat has been considered as well...jumping off a high building...getting arrested and going to the biggest, baddest fucker and using whatever racial slur necessary to keep the blood of my hands lol...a few others have also been considered but those are the ones that stand out the most...
I would have to do this in a public place though...can't bear the thought of anyone in my family finding me...it's pathetic...my APD/SAD is so bad I can't do what I want to do because of how it would affect the people I know...sorry for the emo-ish post...just felt like I needed to get this out and tell someone...don't really have anyone I can tell in RL...feel a little better getting it out...sorry if this shouldn't go here...
On the prochlorperazine though...is that one difficult to get a doc to hand out? When I call my doc about it, they just call in promethagan suppositories and tell me to rub them on my stomach...those aren't working anymore...last time I had them, I was rubbing 3 on my stomach (with about 20 minutes in between) and was still nauseated...75mg of promethazine and my nausea was still there...wtf?