I desperately need some encouragement. I just hit the 6-month mark and things are still not good. I feel just as bad as I did at one month. It absolutely SUCKS!! I barely have enough energy to get up from lying in bed. Still close to zero motivation. I tried to work and only made it 1 1/2 days before telling the boss I was distracted and couldn't concentrate due to my impending divorce. They bought it but that is absolutely not the reason. I look forward to the divorce. It's because I can't concentrate at ALL.
For the record (don't think I ever said), I started with Rx'd Percocet back in 2010 for 2 yrs. Switched to Tramadol (the pharm company lied to doctors saying it was 'non-addictive'. Yea right!) Turns out it was and I was unable to continue around 2016 or so when it became a scheduled drug. Then, believe it or not, I started on Imodium and Dextromethrophan (Dxm). That combination, used every 4 hours/ 7 days a week, lifted my spirits and did it's job (as nasty as Dxm is nasty/yuk!) But once I stopped puking it up, it worked well. Imodium by itself works if I took 10 at a time w/ a total of 40-50 a day. Not heart healthy for sure.
So anyway, I feel like a dumbass on that combination for like 5 years. I know many don't think this is a serious as say, heroin or cocaine.......and I have no experience with those. Never even smoked weed in my life. So I have a total of about 10 years abuse. I just can't image those drugs being any worse for withdrawal. And the last 6 months have been total hell on Earth for me. I think if you were fighting an enemy army, and you could slip some drugs into their food or water supply for 6 months and then suddenly take it away, you would just walk all over that army and they'd have zero will to fight.
I am determined to win this. I will NOT use anymore. But my daughter is graduating from a big-time college next week. I have to at least be able to be human for that. I think I'll be alright. I can suck it up. But I seem to only be able to concentrate on any task for like 10 minutes before I get irritated/frustrated and have to do something else. I am, at least, sleeping 7-8 hrs a night.
I have tried:
1. Vitamins
2. Exercise
3. Meditation
4. Distractions
5. Visiting family/friends
6. Tried to travel down to Miami to vacation but only made it one hour down the freeway before turning around and coming back. I have the money but zero motivation..........for ANYTHING! I understand that P.A.W.S. can last from 6 months to 2 years. I was REALLY, REALLY hoping it would only be 6 months. I might can make it another 6 months, but 2 years is a daunting thought. I really thought it would be a gradual recovery...........like I would be feeling a little better each day or week......or even each month. But it's not seeming to be that way for me. I hope I can wake up one day, magically better. I would pay a $100,000 if there was a magic button, I could push to feel normal again!!! Ah, if only, right?!
Please, anyone that has made it through to the other side (final relief and recovery), please post. I could use any good comments. Thanks.
For the record (don't think I ever said), I started with Rx'd Percocet back in 2010 for 2 yrs. Switched to Tramadol (the pharm company lied to doctors saying it was 'non-addictive'. Yea right!) Turns out it was and I was unable to continue around 2016 or so when it became a scheduled drug. Then, believe it or not, I started on Imodium and Dextromethrophan (Dxm). That combination, used every 4 hours/ 7 days a week, lifted my spirits and did it's job (as nasty as Dxm is nasty/yuk!) But once I stopped puking it up, it worked well. Imodium by itself works if I took 10 at a time w/ a total of 40-50 a day. Not heart healthy for sure.
So anyway, I feel like a dumbass on that combination for like 5 years. I know many don't think this is a serious as say, heroin or cocaine.......and I have no experience with those. Never even smoked weed in my life. So I have a total of about 10 years abuse. I just can't image those drugs being any worse for withdrawal. And the last 6 months have been total hell on Earth for me. I think if you were fighting an enemy army, and you could slip some drugs into their food or water supply for 6 months and then suddenly take it away, you would just walk all over that army and they'd have zero will to fight.
I am determined to win this. I will NOT use anymore. But my daughter is graduating from a big-time college next week. I have to at least be able to be human for that. I think I'll be alright. I can suck it up. But I seem to only be able to concentrate on any task for like 10 minutes before I get irritated/frustrated and have to do something else. I am, at least, sleeping 7-8 hrs a night.
I have tried:
1. Vitamins
2. Exercise
3. Meditation
4. Distractions
5. Visiting family/friends
6. Tried to travel down to Miami to vacation but only made it one hour down the freeway before turning around and coming back. I have the money but zero motivation..........for ANYTHING! I understand that P.A.W.S. can last from 6 months to 2 years. I was REALLY, REALLY hoping it would only be 6 months. I might can make it another 6 months, but 2 years is a daunting thought. I really thought it would be a gradual recovery...........like I would be feeling a little better each day or week......or even each month. But it's not seeming to be that way for me. I hope I can wake up one day, magically better. I would pay a $100,000 if there was a magic button, I could push to feel normal again!!! Ah, if only, right?!
Please, anyone that has made it through to the other side (final relief and recovery), please post. I could use any good comments. Thanks.
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