the_ketaman
Bluelighter
My phone mixed all the sentences up strangely but got the main point through. Yeh h doesnt seem to interest me too much anymore. Course I still love it but I think the 'done is helping with cravings. I just love my ice and benzos now(lots of em), bit of methadone if I can get a decent extra amount and pot and a few beers every now n then. Wish I could get into the psych scene but I have no idea how to.
I need to get a hold on my meth use, ive never had a full on ice habit before in my 8 years of using and I was no noob to the crystal at all when things went pear shaped, it just became a lot more easily available. At first half a bag gave me a mega-rush and a spew n everything, now two bags just gives me a little rush its sad. Ive ruined my tolerance to all drugs except psychs which would be the biggest shame of them all as they show me theres a different side to life every time I take em. But yeh I was using the ice to counteract everyting the methadone fucks up i.e libido, sociability, social awkwardness etc... And It ended up getting to the point where I was fucking one or more different people a night, thieving shit(never been a thief ever, benzos do that though) shoveling the benzos in and just being a mess. What started it all was a horrible break up which caused me to lose all my friends, lose a lot of respect from family and of course a shitload of hurt from this asshole that fucked me around. I wont go on about it but some pretty horrible lies and manuipulation went on and then it was all made out to be my fault and everyone believed him(which is a suprise considering how much of a shit talker he his anyway, yes im gay as most fof you know) But yeh it sent me off the edge and I got arrested 4 times and sent to the psych ward for drug psychosis :/ I wasnt really psychotic I was ok, in fact I was about to go to sleep after like 5 nights with 3-5 hours sleep and they said they'd let me go to bed if I seemed ok and they all agreed I was fine but still took me in so you can imagive I was pretty pissed.
Anyway Keep going you guys, if things are becoming too much of a problem I defininitely consider methadone or bupe. Its not a lifelong solution I believe but its good to get your life stable. In my last week of use I thought to myself, if there was no methadone or bupe I honestly dont know what the hell I woud do because I just could not stop no matter how hard I tried. Keep trying guys.
I need to get a hold on my meth use, ive never had a full on ice habit before in my 8 years of using and I was no noob to the crystal at all when things went pear shaped, it just became a lot more easily available. At first half a bag gave me a mega-rush and a spew n everything, now two bags just gives me a little rush its sad. Ive ruined my tolerance to all drugs except psychs which would be the biggest shame of them all as they show me theres a different side to life every time I take em. But yeh I was using the ice to counteract everyting the methadone fucks up i.e libido, sociability, social awkwardness etc... And It ended up getting to the point where I was fucking one or more different people a night, thieving shit(never been a thief ever, benzos do that though) shoveling the benzos in and just being a mess. What started it all was a horrible break up which caused me to lose all my friends, lose a lot of respect from family and of course a shitload of hurt from this asshole that fucked me around. I wont go on about it but some pretty horrible lies and manuipulation went on and then it was all made out to be my fault and everyone believed him(which is a suprise considering how much of a shit talker he his anyway, yes im gay as most fof you know) But yeh it sent me off the edge and I got arrested 4 times and sent to the psych ward for drug psychosis :/ I wasnt really psychotic I was ok, in fact I was about to go to sleep after like 5 nights with 3-5 hours sleep and they said they'd let me go to bed if I seemed ok and they all agreed I was fine but still took me in so you can imagive I was pretty pissed.
Anyway Keep going you guys, if things are becoming too much of a problem I defininitely consider methadone or bupe. Its not a lifelong solution I believe but its good to get your life stable. In my last week of use I thought to myself, if there was no methadone or bupe I honestly dont know what the hell I woud do because I just could not stop no matter how hard I tried. Keep trying guys.