then i was mis informed im sorry. can someone please give me the rundown on DMT?
n,n-dmt and 5-meo-dmt are two different chemicals. The 'DMT' part stands for dimethyltryptamine. When people just say 'DMT' it's typically understood to mean n,n-dmt. Calling 5-MeO-DMT a kind of DMT isn't totally incorrect from a certain perspective based on its chemical structure - it's basically n,n-dmt with an extra chain (the 5-methoxy part in the name) attached to the molecule - but they are separate drugs with separate (albeit related) effects.
If you think LSD can't take away your control and sense of self then I'm guessing you haven't pushed the dosage up that far. However, loss of control and 'just get fucked up party mode' don't really go hand in hand - when psychedelics are intense enough to make you lose control like you describe, it's probably gonna come with the introspective side as well. The closest things to a combination between dissociation and psychedelic visuals I know of are DMT and ketamine, which you say you've already tried. Breakthrough DMT and k-holing are certainly pretty high up there in terms of intensity from a single drug. Beyond that, it depends on you and how you react to various psychedelics. There's no one psychedelic that is universally agreed upon as the most intense. Beyond DMT and K, mushrooms is another popular one, so you've already tried most of the drugs I would imagine people recommending. Higher doses and/or combinations are obvious ways to increase the intensity of those experiences.
If you are trying to replace DXM and want something very close to DXM, what is it about ketamine that doesn't do it for you? A lot of people describe high dose DXM and mid-high dose k as very similar.
Oh, another random thought - it's not very long lasting and not a psychedelic, but nitrous oxide combos well with most psychedelics and other drugs and can give you a sudden burst of intensity, euphoric dissociation, etc. Many people find that a few bulbs of nitrous will make the rest of the trip seem more intense even once the nitrous itself has long since faded.