THE MONDAY MADNESS votes & comments

[ambiguity]

OK. Thanks to everyone for participating. This is now the thread to share your opinions.
Here we will post comments on the poems that were submitted in the previous thread.
You may also vote on your favourite poem if you like... but dont feel inclined. The winning aspect is most certainly not the most important part of the poetry collective, but rather the 'collective' is.
So lets come together and share some valuable insight.

Oh and if you do vote, please make sure to include the title or entry number (duh!?).

enjoi.

 

[ambiguity]

Oh... and my vote is going to go for Entry #3: Kai.
And actually, to be honest... Im already starting to dislike the voting portion of the competition myself. Perhaps if we just included which poem we favoured the most... and didnt bother tallying it up or anything. I like that better. But hey, if people vote then well stick to that.

Anyways, back to that poem. The reason I enjoyed it so much Is because I really like the technique of throwing two descriptive words together and then a comma, and then a next set of two words. I've seen this style many, many times... and when it's done properly, it can really help to tell the story in a unique sort of way. Which this person did fantastically.

I specifically liked some of the word combinations like melting snow (double-meaning perhaps?), collected regrets, maybe memories, indellible tear drops etc. as well as the last two lines of the poem really helped to tie it all in together.
It kind of filled in the 'sketch' with 'color' and allowed you to distinguish between the two types of people the writer was describing.

Awesome job, ill probably be back online to comment about a few of other people's work later tonight, just wanted to get things rolling again.

 

[panic in paradise]

these all, seriously are outstanding.


Entry #2herbavore

the arrangement or schematic is right-on to me - i noticed the touch of each our senses, the feel of the elements, and a strong cycle of the emotions. this also reminded of the story of Sirius, in ways, but i am fond of that and as so might of extracted the meaning on my own;-)either way, very effective.


ill say, in short yours is moving writing, herbavore, as in emotional.
(i crack myself up)

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

polled

 

[herbavore]

@pip--thank you, sweetheart. I think pretty much all your posts are poetry whether on TDS, a recipe in SO or here!( And you crack me up, too)

I voted for Lady Ice's, "Kai". Loved the simplicity. It was like a cinematographer setting the scene by zooming in on different objects one at a time.

 

[Lady Ice]

haven't logged on in a while and i just saw the votes.
i know its trivial but i really needed validation
its the worst time of yr for me coz
5 yrs ago on nov 2nd, Kai died beside me in bed
I still miss him more than ever
I wish god would give him back

 

[herbavore]

Lady Ice--it is a beautiful poem but I am so sorry for your loss. When I read it I assumed that it was looking back at a time that was gone (an ended relationship). I had no idea that the person was gone. I am so deeply sorry.