andIAmAnAddict
Bluelighter
Hi, my name is, Josh and I am an addict. The way addiction affects us mentally should come as no surprise. Our obsessions with the thoughts of using drugs consume us. For me, this was a cycle that was hard to break. Once I had the idea of using drugs, I would find myself lighting up, wondering how I got from point A to Z. It was almost like I was on autopilot.
It was the last week of March 2023. I do not remember the exact day, I want to say it was a Friday, but I could be wrong. My now ex, let us call him Jason, had told me, while I was at work, he was not sure if he wanted to be monogamous. Like really? While I am at work? I knew this was a possibility when getting into the relationship, as he mentioned it might be something he wanted down the road. This conversation had happened one time prior and I thought he was over it. In hindsight, I should not have pursued something with him. As I have mentioned in the past, relationships are like drugs to me, so of course I went all in with this guy. We met online through the gay app Scruff, which is not as bad as Grindr, which is just a place of pure evil if you ask me. We had our first date on the 4th of September 2022, became boyfriends on October 1st, and moved in together by the end of November. Talk about moving too quickly. I liked it though. It was a rush of adrenaline, a new high. In a sense I became obsessive with him and thought of us being together. Read Full Blog Post
It was the last week of March 2023. I do not remember the exact day, I want to say it was a Friday, but I could be wrong. My now ex, let us call him Jason, had told me, while I was at work, he was not sure if he wanted to be monogamous. Like really? While I am at work? I knew this was a possibility when getting into the relationship, as he mentioned it might be something he wanted down the road. This conversation had happened one time prior and I thought he was over it. In hindsight, I should not have pursued something with him. As I have mentioned in the past, relationships are like drugs to me, so of course I went all in with this guy. We met online through the gay app Scruff, which is not as bad as Grindr, which is just a place of pure evil if you ask me. We had our first date on the 4th of September 2022, became boyfriends on October 1st, and moved in together by the end of November. Talk about moving too quickly. I liked it though. It was a rush of adrenaline, a new high. In a sense I became obsessive with him and thought of us being together. Read Full Blog Post
