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The Mega-Merged "Friends With Your Ex?" thread

PawpNLawk said:
If u read the topic "love at first sight" then u will understand what ImpossibleDreamer is talkin bout. The topic of that thread is actually the couple he is talkin bout. I happen to be the guy that is with his ex. I didnt mean to ruin there friendship but people should move on. they will be friends again soon.
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You didn't ruin it man, don't worry. It's my own stuff that did it...I still think you're a great guy and am happy for the both of you. You're right, though....we'll probably be friends again in time. I'm already in the process of moving on, so I should be ready and cool with all my stuff soon enough. Until then, good luck Xander! ;)
-Z
 
beh ex's. some i have been able to remain friends with.
but it seems the ones i always want to be friends with the most are the ones that go through that "omg i hate u bah" phase the most, and for the longest.
but yeah seeing your ex with ure friend... for whatever childish reason, that hurts like hell.
it sucks to have to let go of people who have been so close to you though. i never like to throw away friendships like my ex's seem to.
but letting go is the only way to survive.
these days i just try not to let myself know how badly im hurting, and try to pretend i dont give a fuck about people. it doesnt work very well.
but yeah argh im not in the happiest mood. i think ill shut up now.
but in conclusion... exes are messy messy creatures of the soul.
 
i am friends with all my exes with the exception of two. One i really dont consider an ex cause she was a pity gf lol. And the other cheated on me with my 3 roommates and one of them was my cousin thats married.

Oh and btw, Zach, Sounds like u found a girl... her name is jess, right? hows that goin?
 
I kind of think there is merit in totally cutting ties with ex's. This has pretty much happened anyway with most of my exes. But I always like to be friends with everyone i know.

I broke up with my last girlfriend in October, we hooked up in january. Last week she got with a guy i knew, and i almost inevitable a little phased. (it was his going away night). This weekend we fucked, i know its a one off, but unfortunately it reminds me that i still like her a little and i havent moved on properly.

Rule of thumb I want to try and develope, be friends with the ex after you have totally gotten over them and have moved on.
 
I've been able to remain friends with a couple of ex's, but I find that the ones I was more close to I haven't been able to have friendships with after the break up.
 
i have been able to remain friends with a few of my ex-girlfriends, but it is really hard. in any breakup their will always be one person who has to do most of the forgiving. in the most recent case that has been me. you have to sholder things, forgive them without raising the issue etc etc...

my last girlfriend and i had great comunication with eachother, and this has carried through into the friendship stage. even still, there are really rough days.

i really like her new man, and have been giving her some relationship advice to help things along. i had to push hard to meet him, as they were both worried, but the gentle persistance paid off.

he has come to a couple of club nights where i have played, and we all go out for beers every now and then

it has taken nine months for us to get to this stage though, and again, i have done most of the forgive and forget stuff. when it is worth it, i think your more willing to suck up some of the hurt they throw at you.

now i just call her on her shit when she tries to dump it on me, not by throwing it back, but by refusung to acknowledge it. give her a little look and she knows she is being an ass, and vice versa.

from the begining of the break up though i knew i was willing to work hard at being her friend. it helps that it does not hurt to see her with others, but that came with lots of time.

we were together for years, and i guess that helps to a large degree in terms of even wanting to remain amicable with each other. good break up helps too. no one wants to remain friends after a messy ending.
 
^^^

I completley agree wiht what your saying in the forgiveness. My ex hasnt even acknowledged the fact that she had gone about things in a downright nasty manner, showing no respect to me or anything.

I wouldnt say ive forgiven her but simply acknowledged i cant change whats happened. It makes things easier all round really to just get on with it.
 
hmmmm ex's.... Well my last girl who i still dearly love only broke up due to the distance... she's american, i'm australian... end of that.
We were together for a year but never in my life have i EVER felt like that about anyone. We were so close it freaked me out sometimes. I would of happily spent the rest of my life with her.
However she was here for half a year, and i went over there for a while and it was just too hard. Now being apart from her, coming up to 3 months, i've started moving on but it fucking KILLS me to even think of her being with other guys. I know i've been with a couple of girls (nothing more than kissing) since, but it still eats me up.

What really annoys me is (i talk to her daily on AIM) when i chat to her and she's always at the bar and drinking etc. makes crazy thoughts go through your head =P
The worst one i think was this morning, and she just told me how she was going to cut her 'friend' steve's hair. That felt like a dagger went in... But hey, what can i do. nothing... Thing is i know i'm being a paranoid retard... i don't even know why i care, but i do! ergh
i'm gonna stop now because i'm drunk and talking so much shit i'm gonna be scared to come back to theis thread tomorwo...

:) :-/ :)
 
staying friends with Ex

can it be done?

I'm trying to do it with my ex. we became best friends, and never want to lose each other (whether we're together or not).

just want opinions.
 
Yep It can be done.

I went out with my ex for 7 years, we broke up (my decision) and now every so often we catch up, we never forget each others birthdays etc.

I would not say we are best friends, but friends, we don't go out of our way to see each other, but as I said we catch up every so often with a coffee or a meal.

But in saying that, he would be the only ex that I have stayed in contact with!
 
i've remained best friends with one of my ex's....we didnt like each other much for a while, then were quasi-friends for a while, then didnt see each other for a year or so.....then we both thought of each other on about the same day (bizarre) and i rang her when she had just sent me a letter the day before.....we've been best buds since.... :)

On the flipside, that is only one of the relationships i've been in......i have had some bad experiences with ex's too.....Just work at it, but don't push it.... :)
 
oh no, no pushing at all. lol, it's only been a week, but it was a nice break up.

she did say to me though, "if you love someone set them free. if they come back to you... [it's meant to be]" (something like that)

who knows what could happen.
 
I think it depends on circumstances. For me the answer is no. I am friends with none of my ex's. if we saw each other in the street we'd say a friendly hello but we have nothing to do with each other in day to day life.
My current bf of two years tried very hard to stay friends with his ex(of 6 years) but there were too many feelings involved, and they tried too hard to make it work.
They haven't spoken in ages, and even though they would still be friendly to each other, i wouldn't call them friends really.
I think it is very, very hard to change the tone of the relationship from S/O back to friends. there is often things such as hurtful pasts or sexual tension involved. it seems, judging by my experience and the other posters here, that you need a break of no contact before giving the 'just friends' thing a shot.
 
maybe because we were not only bf/gf, but best friends, this may just work.

as I said it was not a nasty break-up at all. just things weren't working.

something worth noting is that during the last few weeks of the relationship, we were fighting over the silliest things. She seemed to be moody, and nothing I could do was good enough. As a result, I'd get the shits, and we'd fight. now - fuck knows why - she's being super nice to me, and as a result, we're ok.

I'm just so happy we can be civil to each other, and I'm happy with the fact that I haven't "lost" someone so special to me.

it's great to discuss this ;)
 
hmm... well for me it wouldn't work because my ex is like obsessed! I swear he calls me like 20 times a day and I kinda just ignore him. I feel bad though? It's time for him to just move on though. So It could work if your ex isn't a jealous, possessive, controlling freak! Hmm, should i just continue to ignore him? or Should I change my number? lol.
I think I need some advice too? *sigh*
 
KiSsMYAsS, I'll help you out... I'm supposed to be sitting an online exam now, but when I get home, I'll post something.

yes, he does need to move on, basically.
 
you're most welcome ;) *kisses u on the cheek*

speak soon.

glad to be back (I used to post on BL years ago) ;)
 
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