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The Mega-Merged "Friends With Your Ex?" thread

muzby said:
i have a theory..

if you were friends before you started going out, the relationship shouldnt spoil a good friendship.

if you weren't friends before you started going out (as in you didnt know them) then why bother being friends. there was no friendship there at the start, so why try start one out of a hurtful situation?
Click to expand...
it makes sense, but what happened to me was the exact opposite... i went out with my gf, my best friend went out with his best friend (female of course). i wasnt realy friends with my gf b4 we went out, my best friend was good friends with my gf and his gf. we all broke up around the same time. now my ex is my best friend and so is my friends ex but his ex never wants to talk to him again. haha its kinda wierd but it all worked out..... for MEEE :/ . hope that made sense
 
Friends With Your Ex?

Just wondering... what kind of relationships do you all have with your exes?

My ex and I split 6 months ago, after being together for a year and a half. We were each others best friends, and it was the first relationship I was serious about, his too. Our break up wasn't really that messy, but I was devestated for months, pretty much until someone new entered the picture (just so you know I'm still single - he isn't in the picture anymore). After three months, I started to feel as though I was getting over it, gained more confidence and returned to my old self, only better. In recent weeks have been happier than ever :) I had wondered about him though, and was still missing him from time to time.

Last night I called him up. I honestly have no idea why. It has pretty much been lodged in my brain that I didn't want any contact with him at all anymore, but something made me pick up the phone.
He sounded happy to hear from me. We talked for THREE HOURS. It was unreal :) We talked about everything, even discussed the break up briefly.
There was no uneasiness at all and I remembered why used to like spending time with him before, the cool parts of his personality that were obscured by my bitterness since we broke up.
Anyway now we have dinner plans for the weekend... I think it'll be strange to see him again, but am really looking forward to catching up more and just hanging out.

I'm pretty stoked about the possibility of ending up as good friends again, I mean us getting back together is an absurd concept and I doubt either of us will ever want that, but hes a great guy. Its just nice to think that all that horrible break up crap is behind us, that just cos we broke up doesn't mean we can't be close mates again.

Who else is good friends with their ex? Was it hard to get to that point? How close are you?
 
Hah - funny that, I have just been contacted by my ex after 6 years and we have chatted and such - unfortunately for him, he wants to pick up a friendship and I really dont - I feel a bit.... repulsed by him in a way - even though it was I who did all the bad stuff. Shame - sometimes i think that these meetings come up after a while not because a great friendship is going to come of it, or that it means you have to get back together - but sometimes it is just to lay things to resst - establish that you can be nice to eachother and move on. Closure!

my more recent ex - the drugone - we still love eachother very much but very rarely talk now - I guess it might impede recovery for us both to be in touch, but when we are, we laugh out loud, which I dont do very often anymore.

But aye - I think it is never a good idea to go back - it is a good idea to meet, put things to rest and move on.
 
I'm friends with my exes for a couple of months after breaking up, but when you still have feelings for them this idea is all bad.

Especially when they fuck your best friend, while you are together, and don't tell you, and try to sya you cheated on them.
 
^^^^Shit I wouldn't be friends with that person 8)

It is hard to just be friends right after the break-up because you still want to touch that person etc. but can't cross the boundaries. I was still talking to my ex after we broke up and we hooked up one more time after the break-up. So I thought there was the possibility of getting back together, however, it was not as such. Honestly it kinda fucks with my head if we still hang out immediately after the break-up.

My favorite thing that happens is about a week or two after you split and then the ex finds a new person, and is all touchy feely with them right in front of you. Thats always fun to watch...:p
 
^^^ exactly, i had my head fucked with all summer. She fucked with my head more than any of the drugs i did.
 
^^^^I completely know what you are talking about!! It made me lose weight, because I didn't want to eat. I've been smoking a lot more because of it and passed up a chance to be with a really really great person because I wasn't over the whole situation, and now that person met someone else....it definately screwed me over :X
 
Theres only one ex that I have even remote contact with. I occasionally see the others but the only words exchages are usually "dick/jerk" and "slut/bitch". The only I am kinda of friends with is hooked up with my best friend ironically. They get along great though so I am happy for each of them.
 
I dated a girl named Sam about 2 years ago. I really liked her and she dumped me yada yada yada. Now she has a kid and is engaged, yet she is one of my closest friends now. I guess we had a stronger friendship then relationship, thats why were still friends. Of course there was an awkward period for a bit after, but nothing major.
 
Just wanted to make it clear...
Although never is a long time, and you never know whats going to happen in the future, I have NO INTENTION WHATSOEVER of getting back together with this guy. He's great, but we're incompatible and I can't see that changing.
 
This particular guy really does make a great friend, even as an ex, for the reasons you said. Just make sure you treat him like a friend and don't bring up the bad stuff that happened in the past.

I'm not friends with any of my other exes. I did make contact with my first ex the other day, and it was okay, but he's exactly the way he was when I was dating him, and I found that kind of ooky. The other one is a complete tosser and I'll be happy if I never see him again.

It certainly can be done though.
 
I'm actually very close friends with the majority of all my ex's...



If i got married.. i'd invite 3 of them for sure

It only gets weird if ya let it...

I think its fun because you have a certain respect for that person and ton of memories made with them... why do you need to wipe that out of your history or make it a sour thought???

I'm a very optimistic person... sometime a little too friendly lol
 
oh

my

god!

this thread gets done

over

and over

and over

and over

again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


can we try either merging into a friends thread? cause everyone seems to be asking exactly the same questions and the same answers keep coming up... and as much as i like to try help ppl out, i get sick of writing the same thing over again....
 
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