It seems like every personal review here has been about how great TTT was. My personal opinion couldn't be any further from this. After watching The Fellowship of the Ring I was pretty stoked with the adaption, even though it was lacking some scenes I thought should have been included (e.g. Legolas shooting down the flying black thing (nazghul or something, forget the name it's been a while since my last read)) it still managed to capture to an extent the heart of the film. Ok now for my views on TTT. Deep Deep breath....
I feel like I have been sucker punched!!! Right in the back of the head. Did I really waste three hours in that cinema? I have seen some pretty bad adaptions from books in the past but this just takes the cake.
While the first movie left out some scenes, it still followed the book. TTT took a fucking huge right angle branch away from the book and never came back... Ok leaving out shit is acceptable (hell it's a longish (not that long)book). But adding shit and a lot of shit mind you, that totally changes the whole feel of the story, IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!
I tried, I fucking tried enjoy this movie. I said to myself "Stop being such a jaded arsehole, just enjoy it for the film it is". It didn't work. I didn't pay to see some other fucking sappy, hollywood cliched movie. I PAYED TO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS FOR FUCKS SAKE.
Alright enough pointless bitching and on with the specifics. King theoden was only an arsehole when wormtongue was poisoning his mind and he did not risk his entire people because he was an old stubborn fuck. Thank's Pete way to kill a noble character. The above can be said for the Ent's, while it took them a while to make up their minds they did do it and in a noble non-fuckfaceish way.
That whole fucking love triangle shit was totally made up. The king's daughter stayed and looked after her people, they did not get marched all the way to helm's deep. Aragorn did not fall off a cliff, therefore there was no cheesy, oh he's dead how sad, oh he's alive hooray cliches.
Gimli while a funny character was not ONLY COMIC RELIEF. THERE WAS NO DWARF TOSSING!!! Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas did not jump down in front of the whole orcish army... I mean seriously who the fuck would be that stupid, I found myself hoping one of the fuckers would take an arrow in the throat. THERE WAS NO SHIELD SURFING. This was a serious fucking story not a fucking skate video.
The movie ended in the wrong place, I mean fuck, I nearly cried when the second book ended (I was young give me a break). Oh no I thought Frodo can't be dead, no way can he be dead. Thank's again Pete way to fuck up the cliffhanger of the century...
Alright there is a fuckload more stuff I could whinge about but right now I'm even starting to get annoyed with myself. The last thing I have to say is where was my favorite scene... The most humourous part in the whole trilogy, when the rest of the fellowship, (excluding Frodo and Samwise) turn up to the ruins of Isenguard, to find Merry and Pippin sitting back, chilling drinking some goon, eating some food and smoking some of the weed through their pipes...
There ya go the reason I spent a whole year waiting with anticipation only to be punched right in the solar plexus...