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[The Look] Instant attraction - but has a boyfriend!

E

eXalin

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 4, 2010
Messages
35
Have you ever met someone briefly who is friends with your friends, and then later on in a club you glance around and you both meet eye contact from across the room for a good 3/4 seconds and you get that 'click', attraction, i dont know how to describe it, but you both end up kind of smiling and looking away because you both 'know'.

The situation: She has a boyfriend, they have been dating just over 2/3 weeks, hes a chav/dumb ****, and she could do so much better.

Problem: Is it a problem that we both glanced for a good few seconds at each other when she has a boyfriend? if I ever got in a relationship with her could i be setting myself up for disaster? is she just not happy with her current boyfriend? Or can you just not help natural sexual attraction?

Anyway, we have lots of mutual friends, and so I added her on FB a couple days later.

As she has a boyfriend and I had heard her saying earlier on in night to her "sorry i have a boyfriend" to someone else, I thought it would be more appropriate to just give a simple message when I added her and a closer at the end.

Me: Hey, nice to of met ya :) , see ya around!

Her: Hey nice to of met you too :),


Do you think this was appropriate, Would you say this would of been the best way to approach someone who is taken but you both have a mutual sexual attraction between each other?

I could of flirted, I could of tried to start up a conversation, but I thought I'd use a closer and keep it casual as she does have a boyfriend, and thought it would be better just to remind her that i am interested.. in a subtle way.

I dont think they will last long in a relationship, and so i thought this was the best way to show interest in the case they do split up :P

Any ideas or opinions on this situation is always appreciated on the messages relayed and the 'attraction' in general.
 
I dunno, I suppose you could have used that first contact to ask if she'd had a good night etc, and had an actual conversation to gauge her interest in you a little more. She might be ready to give him the flick!
 
That seems simple enough. If they break up, they break up, and you can go for it. If not, well you already knew she has a boyfriend.
I don't see why glancing at each other is a big deal. I'm not sure how that glance means you would set yourself up for failure?

It is completely natural to be attracted to more than one person. If she's in a monogamous relationship, then she just can't act on it. But it doesn't mean it's never there.
 
I didnt want to initiate conversation as I didnt want to seem to 'keen' and like she is the only girl out there, and out of respect for her boyfriend and hopefully she realises that, i suppose in a way keep my mystique? I will no doubt bump into her again in the next few weeks/months.

I suppose in a way it was just like leaving the door open, so she knows :P and i know
 
I'd go for it anyways. Fuck it,people are not property owned by someone else. If you both feel it, enjoy it and make it happen. Regrets for things not done are worse then for things done imo.
 
The "I have a boyfriend" thing is convenient to get rid of people you don't want to talk to. LOL

I would see if they are serious and see what's up. She might be at the end of the relationship. I would ask and see what's up. Can't hurt.
 
I overheard her saying it to another guy close by.

Nah I won't ask, I dont know her well enough yet to get a judge of character, dont wanna get fucked over.

they just started going out about 2/3 weeks ago, hes a player and will get bored eventually as i know him.

I think if i was a girl and a boy started trying to talk to me and knew i was taken, i would think they could do that to me in a relationship

in the mean time plenty more fish in the sea... :D just a shame its not that one yet haha
 
I feel like any kind of relationship has 3 categories toucan instantly look at:
Attraction
Compatibility
Convenience of life situation (for lack of a better term the 'can it work in both parties present situation, or possibly just to what degree')

I understand this is a gross simplification but if the answer is not yes in all those categories it's difficult to form a deep, meaningful and romantic relationship with someone.

Now if attraction and compatibility are a yes in your case and the only thing stopping you from taking it to a physical level is the boyfriend then there is nothing stopping you from getting to know her as a friend, even if it is two friends who are sexually attracted. That is often the beginnings of a sexual relationship IME
 
rangrz said:
I'd go for it anyways. Fuck it,people are not property owned by someone else. If you both feel it, enjoy it and make it happen. Regrets for things not done are worse then for things done imo.
Click to expand...

Just because you have an open relationship doesn't mean everyone else does. You're right, people are not owned by someone else. But you show respect in a monogamous relationship by not having having sex with others. If this girl is really in a relationship, it may be important to her to not cheat on her boyfriend.

Lysis said:
The "I have a boyfriend" thing is convenient to get rid of people you don't want to talk to. LOL

I would see if they are serious and see what's up. She might be at the end of the relationship. I would ask and see what's up. Can't hurt.
Click to expand...

That's so true. Girls do use that line even if they don't have a boyfriend. I've seen it plenty of times.
 
I say try flirting a little without going too far, at least that way you can feel out whether or not she digs you and is willing or at the very least find out whether you will be wasting you time when she is single
 
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