• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
Lad in a bar see's a big fat lass at the bar so goes over and ask "have you got a pen". The female overwhelmed by the attention jumps up and say "yes"

guy replies "well you better get back to it before the farmer realises your missing"
 
What has 4 wheels and an orange trunk????

An elephant raiding a bag of wotsits out of a wheelie bin.......

Made it myself last weekend, /pride, achievement....
 
my mate sent me this this morning. Three boys come into school late the teacher asks where have you been to this time? They reply we were up Maryhill, so a girl arrives 5 mins later and the teacher asks i take it you've been up Maryhill as well, she replied no i am Mary Hill
 
Two boys are looking at a picture of an eel, trying to decide what kind it is. At that moment Dean Martin walks past. One of the lads calls out "Deano - what kind of eel is this?". Dean takes one look ands says "That's a moray".
 
already put it in the Norman Wisdom thread so thought I may as well x-post it to here:

I've just been to the reading of Norman Wisdom's Will:

"To Lee Evans I leave fuck all, the cunt has stolen it all already."
 
There was a thing on Mock the Week a few weeks ago. What does EMDMBM stand for...

Someone came out with Edd Milibands Dave Milibands Brothers Mother...or something. Was funny anyway when I knew what it was, hokaaay?
 
I heard that Simon Weston won the pools but Littlewoods refused to pay out because he burnt his coupon.


(Not sure everyone will get that)
 
What's nine and a half inches long and keeps cunts happy?



An iPad
 
zr120 said:
Lad in a bar see's a big fat lass at the bar so goes over and ask "have you got a pen". The female overwhelmed by the attention jumps up and say "yes"

guy replies "well you better get back to it before the farmer realises your missing"
Click to expand...

That is fucking lulz
 
blim said:
What's nine and a half inches long and keeps cunts happy?



An iPad
Click to expand...

LMAO!!! good one.

Here are mine:

-What is an Oxymoron? A painkiller for stupid people.

-What was the real reason Jesus was crucified? He forgot his safe word.

-When broken down to its root words 'politics' is 'poly' (meaning 'many') plus 'ticks' (meaning blood sucking insects). Politics = Many blood sucking insects.
 
HALLOWEEN fancy dress party goers. Ensure you hire the best quality/value costume by consulting Witch? magazine.
 
Irish archaeologists have reportedly found a mass snowman burial site

but after further investigations it turned out to be a carrot field
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top