The Joke Thread

[captain codshit]

^ Its about 20 years old, everyones heard it and Emma's was better!


Your patters like cum mate, takes a wank to produce! Equally old but fits the moment perfectly

 

[Kava]

Two more to add to my collection of:

why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrr

Classic shit joke, always gets a giggle

My 8 year olds just LOVED that one. The boy actually got the answer to Caaarrr and Aaaarrrrrr!

ACE!

 

[bogman]

im going to see a film called "the tractor"

the trailer for it is brillant

 

[Kava]

im going to see a film called "the tractor"

the trailer for it is brillant

Bogman, now what has your mother said about opening your christmas crackers early. For shame!!!

 

[bogman]

@texyemma its about bad jokes

whats orange and sounds like a parrot

a carrot

 

[Kava]

Nnnooooooo It says the Joke thread!! Silly!

Whats pink and smells like paint?

Pink Paint.

 

[she phoenix]

My joke of the week (sorry if it's already in here - really couldn't be arsed to read the entire thread)

What do you call a monkey in a minefield?


A baBOOM!

 

[Kava]

Ha ha ha ha, Now I know I'm fucked because that just made me laugh!! Not heard it before so WaHey!

 

[Rickyo]

A man goes to a 24 hour garage late at night and says to the girl at the window "can I have a kitkat chunky?"

The girl walks off and returns with a kitkat chunky.

"No" says the man, "I wanted a normal kitkat you fat cunt."

Love it! :D :D :D :D

 

[bogman]

was in the local last nite and was talking to this bird
told her she was "twice the woman cheryl cole is"
she says omg tanx
i say "she is 8stone and your fuckin 16stone you fat cunt"

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

Two fish are in a tank.

One says to the other, "you man the guns, I'll drive".

 

[Kava]

Jade Goody has just come out with a new fragrance.

Decomposure.

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

^ Harsh!

 

[Kava]

What has long, thick, black curly hair and lips that have never been kissed??







Susan Boyles Fanny!!

 

[parttime crackhead]

I had a terrible dream last night – so bad, in fact, I woke up screaming.

Dreamt I had a boil on the end of my cock.

It was Susan Boyle.

 

[chrisdahl]

What's the name of that useless piece of skin round the end of ya cock?

Susan Boyle

 

[parttime crackhead]

What's the name of that useless piece of skin round the end of ya cock?

Susan Boyle

I don't get that at all

 

[chrisdahl]

I don't get that at all

The answer should've been ''a woman''

 

[cletus]

susan boyle...... The first known human example of a 22 pinter.

 

[Kava]

susan boyle...... The first known human example of a 22 pinter.

Is that all???? Or is that 22 pints of Vodka?