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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Joke Thread

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A horse walks into the bar and orders a drink.

Barman says to the horse "why such the long face?"
 
pekkie said:
A horse walks into the bar and orders a drink.

Barman says to the horse "why such the long face?"
Click to expand...

I hope that was a joke.. ;)

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street.
The priest says "Let's go and screw those little boys over there."
The rabbi says "OK but out of what?"
 
This punk, with a blue and yellow and green Mohawk, is sitting on a bench minding his own business, when an old man comes down and sits next to him.

The old man stares at the punk.

Then looks away.

Then looks back.

Then looks away.

Then has one last look, before wrenching his head away.

The punk's getting a bit annoyed by this, so finally he says
"Look Grandad, just what's your problem? Didn't you ever do anything stupid when you were young?"
And the old man says "Yes! Once I shagged a parrot, and I think you might be my son!"
 
This woman has a little poodle called Titswobble. She loved that dog like it was her baby, always taking it for walks everyday, feeding it only the finest food, letting the dog sleep on her bed. You get the picture.

One day she takes Titswobble out for a walk, and for some reason she dropped the lead and Titswobble ran off. Well the woman was absolutely distraught, as it was like her baby had done a runner on her. Anyway she ended up seeing a Policeman walking up the street towards her, so she walks up towards him.

Woman: "Excuse me sir, but have you seen my Titswobble?"
Policeman: "No Maam, but I'd sure like to!"
 
Two (catholic) priests pissing in a public urinal. One glances at the others cock and is surprised to see it is covered with nicorette patches.

He asks;"do those things work father toole?"

To which the other replies; "oh yes, im down to three butts a week!"
 
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?



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Depends how hard you throw them


How do you make a black guy float

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Take your foot off their head.


How do you make a dead-baby float?



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Add rootbeer and two scoups of ice cream
 
A guy walks into a bar with his mate who is a tiger. They all start drinking and playing pool and what not, but the tiger has a few too many, and passes out under the pool table. The guy stays for another few hours, eventually ready to leave as the bar is closing. As he is walking out the owner calls out,

"Hey, you not just going to leave that lying here are ya?!"

To which they reply, "nah mate, it's a tiger."

:):):):)

And one much worse.

A guy walks into a bar with a dolphin stuck in his ear. He approaches the bar and is about to order a drink, when the bartender asks,

"hey mate, do you realise you have a dolphin stuck in your ear?"

The guy stops for a moment, removes the dolphin from his ear, and replies,

"sorry mate, I didn't hear you, I had a dolphin stuck in my ear."

:):)




and finally, one that didn't go down quite so well in AUS Social.

Q: What was the first thing Peter Brock heard when he went to heaven?


A: Crikey, you're dead too!
 
^ lol I only said it to set up the dead-baby float joke, chill out.

I love how the black jokes are the only ones that are considered racist, double-standard at it's best.
 
Here's the "shittest" joke i could come up with...

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
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sf.jpg

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"To get to the other side!" (Well it said post your shit jokes here!)
 
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Eya mate, that is a purely racist joke. Most people hate racism, so before you post racist things FUCK OFF.
 
Brownz said:
Eya mate, that is a purely racist joke. Most people hate racism, so before you post racist things FUCK OFF.
Click to expand...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_q8LxO4wnCQ

Get a grip.

I'm the least racist person you'll meet. I'm also against people that don't care about White, Jew, German, Irish jokes but go in a huff as soon as Black People are mentioned.
 
Brownz said:
Get a grip yaself. At the end of the day it's racist, now suck my nuts.
Click to expand...
What a compelling argument. I can underdand why you're right now, how wrong of me to ever have doubted you.
 
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