the inevitable transition from speedfreak to the land of opiates?

[sparklr]

Anyone that has even the most remote inkling of my (momentum-driven, action based) sensibilities would think that these would be the last words out of my mouth, but…
I'm wondering if there comes a point in every speedfreak's life where one trades one thing in for the complete opposite.
I've always purposefully stayed away from any sort of substance that had a depressant effect. (besides alcohol). Though, I will try anything. However, with my less than joyful marijuana experiences, and my limited access to prescription painkillers, illegal narcotics, I threw myself head-first into stimulants.
I like the momentum, the productivity, the neatness of it all. Cocaine, amphetamine, ephedrine, caffeine, anything. Plus, it hits the spot. Processes go neatly from stimulus A à thought A à action A. And, of course, on to stimulus B. No distractive elements that come in to offtrack things. It thwarts indecisiveness and, of course, brings confidence when needed.
But there comes a point where it's just like, "now what?" I see a line of coke, or am offered some speed or something…
I no longer jump at the opportunity, glowing as my dopamine receptors itch at the image.
I was recently given 2 scripts for percocet for a wrist injury. And though I really didn't like it at all at first (riding the wave of the forever speedfreak), I think that maybe it's an acquired taste that I sort of got used to before they stopped the script.
My first administration, I was given only 2 5mg oxycodone pills in the hospital. This made me extremely nauseous, hot, and knocked me out. Not feelings that I liked. After I was released and got the scripts, I (abusing them of course) started to like them in my life.
Now, I completely despise a stoned, slowed-down feeling. I can't do pot for this reason. The maintainance that it requires to get to a level of ease is just too much for any sort of pleasure that it might bring about. But this wasn't the same. And though it definitely took some getting used to…
Basically, I guess one burns out too quickly when they are a speedfreak. I see that now and don't collect as much joy for it as I did. I don't have the same passion for it.
I mean, I really highly doubt that I will ever have any sort of opiate spans in my life, but I see now how it seems like a logical step.
So, I was wondering if it is…that logical of a step and everything. If it is sort of inevitable.

 

[PhreeX]

I dunna, everyone is differn't ... I did some catching up this last year.. people I used to live and interact with severla years ago re-entered my life again as I started to hang with the old crowd from the coast..
Basically the 3 other people that lived in the lab with me are, well, filthy fucking rich living in half million dollar homes with Mercedes and paying taxes because they have fake "internet businesses" ... see, wasn't I smart to "better my life" and "get away from all that"? Ha! And they say "winners dont use drugs" - correct, they run the labs... ok, enough with that rant... anyway, they were 3 of the most hard-core speedfreaks I knew, we would ALL stay awake for days and even weeks, IV a half gram of glass to keep from falling out, all suffering from methamphetamine psychosis to the extremest point possible...
Well, 2 of the 3 don't even use anymore, they act as middle-men on a VERY LARGE scale .. the 3rd uses from time to time, he has currently fled the country though because he fucked up a deal and the shit hit the fan .. none of them activly use narcotics on a chronic basis... the most wealthy of the 3 likes to use heroin to calm down (but he can afford to keep a few ounces on hand - all for personal use) .. I got ahold of as many of my old speedfreak friends but 3 years time means that, well, all of them have been evicted and changed phone numbers.. my ex-gf (the girl I lost my virginity to) was able to track a few down, and sure enough, they had all stopped using meth - their drugs of choice was pharmacutical narcotics (fentanyl patches are more common then heroin in some areas) .. a few did the "I have found the best way to live life is sober" but these people don't count, they are sub-human ... in fact, out of about 10 people that all used to be HARD CORE speed freaks, they had ALL stopped, and sure enough, those that had a defined drug of choice usually liked the opioids .. so it seems you may be on to something here..

 

[Deus121]

For 6 months I was addicted to meth. I started off using, then I started hanging out with the petty dealers. Then, through some luck I met the guy that provided my dealer's dealer's with their meth. And I started pushing shit for him, about an ounce to two ounces a day. Of course I usualy took out about a ball to myself a day. I was so tweaked out most of the time I could hardly see straight. I'm not sure if you've ever been so high on speed that your sight became kinda white and your eyes watered, but thats how I was all the time. You see, when your selling fairly large quantities of meth every day, you make enough to get really fucked up. Well, some of the people I was selling to were getting really bad, one had been up for 10 days and he was also wanted for atempted murder, he was making me very nervous, so I cut him off. He in turn destroyed my car, also, he made some under the table deals with some of the people I "thought" were friends and I got robbed for several thousand dollars and probably a quarter ounce of crystal meth in a place I thought I was safe. I was as well starting to receive death threats, etc etc. My girlfriend was very upset, and I decided enough was enough, tucked my tail between my legs and got out. In retrospect I probably should have stayed in, fixed stuff up and made millions. Although, I suppose it could have just lead to my death.
Wow I've gotten a bit sidetracked here. Yes I was a speed freak, but now I will not touch the stuff. I might be coaxed to try some again at some point, but heroin is my true love. I love the warm glow opiates provide. Most of the time I don't do enough to really nod, but just feel warm and comfortable and happy. I'm just as productive as I was with meth, and its so much healthier for me.
I know a few of my old speedfreak friends are sober now, some are still into meth. Most of them think of heroin as being "bad" and dirty. In this area, heroin really isn't in. In the ghetto its crack. So while these guys were big speed addicts, heroin was just too "hardcore" for them. *laugh*.

 

[PhreeX]

To get side-tracked again... the speedfreak life is really something that can't be described... you have to live it to know it...

 

[sparklr]

Of course, PhreeX, I mean, that's why I'm asking about personal experiences.
It's just becoming more and more apparent to me that the "speedfreak" would have the highest mortality rate at the lowest age. (If not sidetracked by other things) I mean, it seems in theory. Physically and mentally, I feel that a stimulant habit would have the shortest longevity of all the drugs. Of course, without killing the user or doing some major damage first.
Maybe it's primarily a psychological thing that I didn't enjoy my first experiences with opiates more, but, now understanding the nature of stimulants to a greater degree, I think they might become a favorite.
[ 04 January 2002: Message edited by: sparklr ]

 

[RJW]

PreeX, Hoorah for your friends! Glad they are doing so well. The average person would be shocked if they only new just how many legitimate businesses were started on drug money and how many respected people in their community make money thru the drug trade. At least the war on drugs benefits those few.
To the post at hand: I think the natural progression is to switch from stimulant based drugs to something more mellow as people age. Have you ever seen many old speed/ cocaine users? Not normally. They usually die or quit. On a personal note, I used cocaine for 10 years until it progressed to a few times a week at which point the toll on my body, spirit and mind made it no longer worth while. I took some time to dry out did some X and lots of valium and now my drug of choice is opiates. Pepole tend to slow down as they age and the idea of being wired is not so much fun anymore. My 2 cents