6/27/2006
The Fix
Tough as a heart, yet fragile as a china doll. How is it then, we can be more resiliant than we ever dared to dream we could be? The paradox proven time and time again, incredibly strong, and tough we can get, still easy 2 4get, how life can change in one second flat...one second happy, healthy,, our reality taken or shattered indefinitely...
What is a fix? Are these junkies walkin around suffer from being smashed into a million peices, though smashed into peices broken 4 reasons unknown to my little girl eyes, shattered beyond repair, though 2 my eyes invisably? Although I knew not how to articulate it, Gary's eyes and his countanance, his face, registered numbness to what this world had been...
Except for a couple times, the road mapped out pain, how was it that raod mapped out of his life, became t porcelean china doll, its beauty exquisite til some turn of event smashed it hard against the ground...the porcelean doll destroyed 4 once and all...All the king's horses, and all the king's men? Could it be he shattered but no one could put cousin Gary back together again...
How could it be? Shattered indefinitely, yet still he could find a store that could temporarily, bind the millions of peices and glue them back closest possible thing, semblance of making his whole, a glue that worked its magic temporarily...perhaps 2 hrs, , or 3, or 4, 6...but never more. A poor substyitue, though to be glued and patched together if only for a 2 to 4 hr mend...so Gary could walk around, not have a frown, and briefly settle down....but the cure never lasted and consequently
the glue would no longer hold, and Gary was back in millions of peices again, cause all the king's horses and all the king's men, couldnt keep Gary from coming apart again, so to keep from being in a million peices all the time...instead he'd break every few hrs...and getting a fix again and again and again. I had been 17 when I had purchased a ceramic bong in the form of a snake I called Puff. Taking a toke from him always put my ass in the dust. Everyone thought damn how awesome and cool was Puff, til one day he fell to the ground and shattered to peices...
That was a bum day to be sure, I had become quite attached to that bong that had nothing but good memories. I set out to put Puff back together with Crazy Glue, again, and again, and again...finally though altered 4ever 4 looks, but thats ok. We all mainly wanted Puff back in peices so he could function and play. Still, sadly enough despite repeated efforts again and again, Puff could not be put back 2gether again. Once the glue had long dried, we put water in the bong, managed to inhale a couple times righteously.
Less than an hr Puff fell apart again, as first air, then water sprang up from the cracks in spite of continuous efforts, by different people, over 2 months time, the glue that became the fix held him together shorter and shorter intervals each time, then sadly, laid Puff to rest permanently in a make shift grave. Such a waste, but I honestly tried, but all the king's horses, and all the king's men, could only fix Puff for a short time b4 he'd need another fix again. So cousin Gary had been broken, but he tried diligently hoping to find perhaps one day the right magic that would fix him longer if not permanently.
All the king's magic horses, and all of his men, could only ever patch Gary 2gether, but temporarily again. And again.
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