[video=youtube;xqbw4nHrHc0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqbw4nHrHc0[/video]
The Existential Pain of Being Young, White, and Affluent
- Thread starter slimvictor
- Start date
RobotRipping;11411526 said:
getting angry at someone else's good fortune because they're parents were successful and wanted them to have nice things is so fucking petty. i hate that shit. i grew up "privileged" and i cant stand it when people get mad at me because my father worked his ass off and wanted his kids to experience the fruits of his labor.
if you want to get mad at someone get mad at your parents for not having the same drive, opportunities and/or ambition.
^ Agree, it makes perfect sense for a hard-working mother and/or father to want to give their children an advantage in life and provide them with opportunities they never had. However, it should be considered an advantage, not a reason to just fuck around all day every day because you don't need to work. You'll have a pretty shitty life if you decide to simply mooch off mum and dad instead of making a go of it yourself...and the only way to go about doing that is by testing your limits, what you're capable of achieving and applying your skills the same way their folks had to. Establishing a value set, morals you believe in, etc.
bagochina;11420293 said:
it's kind of like an MMORPG that was started by our ancestors and death marks the end of each individual beginning.
i'm old, born in the early '60s, and grew up in a not so good home situation. got my ass beat regular usually w/out much, or no, reason. i also knew there were expectations about school and getting my ass out and on my own asap which was fine w/ me. and i absolutely was one of those who thought i don't want my kid to grow up like that. luckily i saw fairly early that coddling or making excuses wasn't helping him.
i guess i don't have a lot of empathy for 25 yr olds hangin' on mom's and/or dad's couch, etc. it's a very different world in many ways but wtf? i seriously do not understand the major apathy, lack of motivation or desire to just go, do, move, w/e, or the major dependence on someone else/ lack of confidence in one's own self to survive. i don't think i will ever understand giving up before you even try.
on the flip i also see lots of people around my age pulling bullshit crap too so it's not only a particular age group.
are their expectations? are the expectations for some reason too high? or are there too many excuses offered up by seemingly well meaning parents?
i don't know any answer but i know i am really glad my kid is almost 30 and functioning on his own.
-izzy
i guess i don't have a lot of empathy for 25 yr olds hangin' on mom's and/or dad's couch, etc. it's a very different world in many ways but wtf? i seriously do not understand the major apathy, lack of motivation or desire to just go, do, move, w/e, or the major dependence on someone else/ lack of confidence in one's own self to survive. i don't think i will ever understand giving up before you even try.
on the flip i also see lots of people around my age pulling bullshit crap too so it's not only a particular age group.
are their expectations? are the expectations for some reason too high? or are there too many excuses offered up by seemingly well meaning parents?
i don't know any answer but i know i am really glad my kid is almost 30 and functioning on his own.
-izzy
As much as i hate to quote the program addiction truly does not descriminate by race or social status....
And i was one of those kids who was given everything and completely fucked it up which makes you feel worse about it in alot of ways but now i got myself on the right track and i did pull myself out of all that bullshit and its not an easy thing to do no matter who you are
And i was one of those kids who was given everything and completely fucked it up which makes you feel worse about it in alot of ways but now i got myself on the right track and i did pull myself out of all that bullshit and its not an easy thing to do no matter who you are
MemphisX3;11418282 said:
yeah you're precisely the kind of pieces of shit i hate in life, you are the antithesis of my life and why i work as hard as possible to reach my own goals and not be an asshole about it when i do. My parents did everything they could for me but i didn't have everything i wanted. Glad things worked out for you but if it comes down to it i'm rooting for the person who came from nothing over the person who had it all because their parents worked hard.
also how can i be mad at my parents for not having opportunities? maybe i could be mad if they didn't seize those opportunities but that's it. My parents grew up poor and didn't have an easy time getting out of that cycle yet they did but i wasn't over privilidged by any means. I happily await the destruction of you bourgeois pieces of shit. When the revolution comes, you will be the first to go down crying like a little bitch.
^
Got to say I agree with most of that...with maybe a little less aggression.lol achieving your goals by virtue of your own efforts is worth alot more then having them handed to you. Adversity is a fantastic teacher, if an unforgiving one. Life cant be properly experienced when theres always safety nets, like parents who will jump in and solve any and all problems as they arrive.
The young lad in the article is I think, a good example of someone who has been given lots of advantages but hasnt learned life skills that would give him a chance at solving his problems without his parents stepping in.
Got to say I agree with most of that...with maybe a little less aggression.lol achieving your goals by virtue of your own efforts is worth alot more then having them handed to you. Adversity is a fantastic teacher, if an unforgiving one. Life cant be properly experienced when theres always safety nets, like parents who will jump in and solve any and all problems as they arrive.
The young lad in the article is I think, a good example of someone who has been given lots of advantages but hasnt learned life skills that would give him a chance at solving his problems without his parents stepping in.
RobotRipping;11425191 said:
What, you decided that you can be an asshole now, but once you achieve your goals, you will stop?
I honestly don't understand what you are complaining about.
Your background led to your work ethic and passion about achieving certain goals in your life. You should feel thankful.
Those raised in wealthy families can easily take things for granted, which leads to a terrible, lazy, passionless adult.
You want to make money, but you also want the bourgeois killed. Think about it for a minute. Will you become bourgeois to someone else, once you have achieved your goals? Will your children?
Your hatred and anger just need an excuse. If you were rich, you would hate poor people.
I have seen both sides of the tracks. I have been homeless, as a child, but also had a father driving a large, new mercedes.
I went to school with filthy rich kids, some of whom showed up in limos to school every day. I was bussed in, one of the poorest in the school, without lunch money some days because we couldn't afford it.
Some of the rich kids in my classes were complete assholes, but some were kind, loving, sharing people.
You can't judge a person based on how much money they have.
You sound trapped by your anger, and by ideas of money.
Personally, I gave up the idea that money makes happiness a long time ago.
I can relate to the rich and the poor, as long as the individual has an open mind and a caring heart.
Many, many people don't. Both rich and poor.
I recommend that you give up your anger, and your overly-simplistic categories of rich and poor.
People are far more complex than that. And your anger won't benefit anyone. It hurts you the most.
Peace.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-dalai-lama-s-wisdom-about-anger.html#ixzz2OEWR7jsY
^
That was a good read slimvictor, thank you. How about righteous anger though? Or anger at an injustice done to another? some of these emotions are very close to others such as compassion or the urge to protect. To completely deny anger would imo be to deny part of what makes us human. Maybe the way to go about it would be to examine where our anger comes from when we feel it and whether its justified.......
That was a good read slimvictor, thank you. How about righteous anger though? Or anger at an injustice done to another? some of these emotions are very close to others such as compassion or the urge to protect. To completely deny anger would imo be to deny part of what makes us human. Maybe the way to go about it would be to examine where our anger comes from when we feel it and whether its justified.......
^ You raise some good points, bunge.
I am probably not the best person to ask about anger and how someone who is very enlightened would handle anger, since I am so far from anything resembling enlightened myself.
But I do believe that anger hurts people, especially the person who is angry.
If I observe an injustice done to someone, I might feel angry, but someone who simply wants to correct the injustice without anger - simply because it is an injustice - would be my hero.
And I don't want to say that denying anger is a good idea either - but maybe that, through the mere switching of perspective, anger can melt into something less destructive and more constructive.
I am probably not the best person to ask about anger and how someone who is very enlightened would handle anger, since I am so far from anything resembling enlightened myself.
But I do believe that anger hurts people, especially the person who is angry.
If I observe an injustice done to someone, I might feel angry, but someone who simply wants to correct the injustice without anger - simply because it is an injustice - would be my hero.
And I don't want to say that denying anger is a good idea either - but maybe that, through the mere switching of perspective, anger can melt into something less destructive and more constructive.
^
I think I understand where your coming from. Maybe the secret is to be able to observe your emotions and understand them, without the need to act on them impulsively. Alot of the teachings and comments of truly educated and/or 'enlightened' individuals seem to hinge on this, or at least that how I see it. It all comes down to perspective I think. Especially where justification is concerned. I personally try to always question the reasoning behind any of my actions before I perform them. Not that I always get an answer, my process is far from perfect!lol anyway, ramble over. I dont want to derail the thread too much.
I think I understand where your coming from. Maybe the secret is to be able to observe your emotions and understand them, without the need to act on them impulsively. Alot of the teachings and comments of truly educated and/or 'enlightened' individuals seem to hinge on this, or at least that how I see it. It all comes down to perspective I think. Especially where justification is concerned. I personally try to always question the reasoning behind any of my actions before I perform them. Not that I always get an answer, my process is far from perfect!lol anyway, ramble over. I dont want to derail the thread too much.
In my experiences the wealthier kids I grew up with always bragged and gloated about the things they had and I didn't. Even one if my friends parents used to rub it in. Now I might have a drug problem, but I have nicer things now the they do. I just manage my money better. But also when you never have to earn anything on your own and are hand fed everything in life. Once you step into the real world your completly lost. My parents were not wealthy by any means. But they sure as hell taught me how to work towards a goal. That's why im driving a brand new car and my friends who used to be spoiled have nothing to show for their money but a bus ticket. I couldn't imagine what more I could have had I never picked up the dope...I feel it necesarry to show those friends that in high school they may have had everything they wanted. But as soon as mommy and daddy cut them off that im the real winner in the long run.
This thread needs more Werner Herzog, and less Abby Hoffman.
Forget this rich vs. poor crap, because it's all relative; bitching about the supposed pettiness of the wealthy is no different from say, a Haitian mocking American problems when the average American makes more in a week than the average Haitian does in a year. How bad can our "problems" be? *Everybody* has problems--internal, familial, societal--and money (or the lack of it) is just a smokescreen for the fact that we're all in this mess together, figuring out how we can move forward and do something meaningful when we're all headed to the maggot farm whether we have a cottage in the Hamptons or a piss-soaked mattress in a warehouse.
Forget this rich vs. poor crap, because it's all relative; bitching about the supposed pettiness of the wealthy is no different from say, a Haitian mocking American problems when the average American makes more in a week than the average Haitian does in a year. How bad can our "problems" be? *Everybody* has problems--internal, familial, societal--and money (or the lack of it) is just a smokescreen for the fact that we're all in this mess together, figuring out how we can move forward and do something meaningful when we're all headed to the maggot farm whether we have a cottage in the Hamptons or a piss-soaked mattress in a warehouse.
qft
Amen to that, I come from basiclly the same type of situation & have come to the same conclusion. I grew up mostly in a bad neighborhood, then moved to the suburbs when I was in HS. I didn't go to a private school or anything like that, but the community was pretty affluent. But most of the addicts I knew that grew up like "Evan" are still hopeless addicts that either still depend on mommy & daddy, rob & rip off everything & everybody, or both. When I was still all fucked up on of my rules was not to deal with anybody from the suburbs. Only the most fire dope from the grimiest ghetto would do for me!bunge;11418174 said:
I think people should stop going at this article with the rich/poor attitude. Evan is there to paint a portrait, set an example for the underlying psychological issues at hand. And even though the article tends to couple the issues with the notion of upbringing, I think that the dividing line is a fine one and near impossible to determine. The article demonstrates that regardless of upbringing, the problem at hand is showing up in places that we previously thought impossible. Go back to when morphine, heroin, opium etc. were legal commodities - no one really knew who was addicted and as it turned out later it spanned across the world and addiction surfaced in many surprising places. Now one of the problems is over-prescribed painkillers, and yes, some social groups do have better access to legally prescribed drugs, but that doesn't stop them from getting into the hands of the less fortunate. One problem being covered in the article is availability always succumbing to demand in the form of one drug or another or in the shape of one prescribing/dispensing service legit or illegit, and the underlying paths to addiction are many and many are still unknown. Anyone can become addicted, and there are a lot of driving forces that have the same physical/psychological roots regardless of social status and/or race. It is a human issue with a common catalyst. Evan just serves as a pinup to exemplify that where one last expects to stumble across painkiller addiction, one may find it. I think the article is there as an attempt to breathe life into the reality of things, and kill off some stereotypes, but it seems the majority of comments are just being stereotypical, however true they might be (I do agree with a lot of what is being said, but do not want to take a black vs. white or rich vs. poor attitude towards the whole deal).
mydoorsareopen;11412043 said:
this ^