The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

[brimz]

I agree that TDS is a great place for support but as effie pointed out it is very much Yank based n with all respect (I have lived in Cali and have family their) things are alot different in the UK when it comes to Mental Health treatment , well any treatment .

I mean if you ain't got Health insurance your fuked . If was still their i would have surely been deported locked up or dead .
I lived in Anaheim n Lake forest orange County btw , just thought i would de rail something

 

[King Hop Head]

It's up to you - you know your mind better than anybody.

Having said that, I am / was probably not in the frame of mind in which I'd take heavy doses of acid, yet I had a blissful epiphany on oral DMT, so much so that I actually broke down in tears of happiness. Corny as that sounds.

I'd say that a lot of the caution around the use of traditional psychedelics only applies to those with underlying, deep-seated, latent mental health issues. If you're truly aware that something's wrong then they can really be a lifesaver in the right circumstances.

Breaking down in tears of happyness, I remember doing that the morning after a serious Peruvian Torch (San Pedro) session.

 

[King Hop Head]

I can see why this thread is valuable too Acidtek

posting in TDS can dramatise things a little in a way, but this kinda stream of thought in brimz's thread doesn't elevate daily head health stuff disproportionately, if that makes sense. a great base & outlet for thoughts n whatnot and how to deal with the negatives of our lifestyle choices & negatives of drug choices, without having to label it as 'dark side' or whatever.

[edit]no stigmas encourage people to talk more too imo

I actually found regular use of Magic Mushrooms about 6-7 years ago, helped me bring my long standing depression under control, and then they go and fully ban them (circa 2005). Having the option of relatively regular use may have prevented my decent to Opiate dependancy!

Also one of the key drivers of my move from just at weekend opiate use to dependancy, was when my Kava Kava order was held up by customs (I had the rule Opies just at weekends, and allowing myself Kava use 2 or 3 nights, felt really good having straight after I'd been to the gym. This would not have happened if they had still allowed free sale of Kava in the UK (retail ban circa 2003).

Goes to show how fucked our drug and herbal medicine policies are.

 

[SpecialK_]

I found I did get depressed when I was young but since I started on the psychedelics it seems to have cured me of all that. Particularly psilocybin.

Think this is similar to me, a lot of it is an age thing I believe. But psychedelics are really good for after shit spells as I find they really bring back some lovely memories, make me want to spend time with friends/family and appreciate the world a bit more. I'm pretty sure the final one is actually proven for mushrooms.

 

[effie]

I love TDS obv (being a mod there and all) but I think it is great to have this thread here too. They serve different purposes and it would take time to break into the TDS community, where as you guys know each other pretty well and there is a big difference between US and UK mental health treatment - it's been a steep learning curve for me modding there. Plus there are pretty strict rules on triggering talk, so we couldn't have any sort of open discussion on using drugs to treat mental health issues.. it's a bit of a problem but I understand why the rule is in place.

Having said that, I mod there and I'm from the UK, and we have members from all over the world (and some problems are universal ey) so please don't be deterred from making a thread if you would like to

Psilocybin I am interested in. Might report back on that one soon. But I'm relying on more traditional methods at the mo - making sure I've got a good support network in Bristol, arranging going back to work to keep myself busy, counselling, going to try a bereavement group soon - really hope there is someone there my age, having trouble finding many people who lose their partner at 27.. have met a few through BL though, guess overdose is the commonest way to lose someone young.

Not sure if I've said this anywhere and this probably isn't the appropriate place at all but fuck it, am dwelling on his death tonight.. Dave didn't die of an OD. Toxicology was completely clean, no alcohol even. Best guess is an undetected heart condition (a rare one, to do with the conducting system of the heart - long QT syndrome). I thought I would prefer it not to be an OD but this seems more.. senseless somehow. I guess neither is good and both have the same end result. Initially the family wanted it kept quiet but they said they are happy for me to put it on the forum now if I like. Just not really found the right time/headspace before now and as I said.. it doesn't really matter I guess.

If anyone is looking for good leaflets or info on mental health issues, the Royal College of Psychiatrists do a good range and have some really useful information

I also know some online CBT websites and some good books if anyone is interested, ask here or shoot me a pm.. face to face is easier and better but it's not always accessible or there is a long waiting list.

 

[Jennyfur_Karma_Kin]

Not feeling as great as I'd hoped I would. Spending NYE alone again... because I've shut myself off from most of my friends and the ones that I could have spent it with are up to their eyeballs in their own shit. I'm feeling really alone and confused about life in general. I just want to reach out and make friends. I just want to communicate with people but it feelsl like nobody wants to listen.

 

[Mugz]

I read the first page, but not the next three yet.

I've definitely got mental health problems. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years and years now and I am struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel even now. I was pretty hypomanic recently for a few weeks but then from tuesday night until today I've spent the whole time in bed except for to get small tiny amounts of food and to use the toilet. Today at about 9am I received the last stimulants that I will ever do and have finished them all already, I can only imagine that the comedown is most likely going to make the recent week of depression even worse tomorrow and next week.

My cycles of activity and depression used to be pretty obvious and long and it seems they are getting shorter, if I were to label myself I would label myself as having rapid cycling bipolar disorder but I don't want to give myself a label. I want to get rid of them all.

I'm pretty sure that recreational drugs and self medication which was followed by doctors tapering me off my self medication has made everything worse and this has continued for about 8 years now. I am not sure whether before drugs I ever even had a mental health problem, I can't remember having one, drugs and my mental stability are kind of like the chicken and the egg. I honestly don't know if I started self medicating because I had a problem or if there was no problem at all and I started using drugs out of curiosity and then when I got into benzos it made everything worse.

I dunno anymore. I really don't know how I am going to get myself better. The only two options that I think I have at the moment are quitting all drugs(can't stop benzos yet because of tolerance/rebound anxiety/need to taper down) or just quitting altogether

This has been the worst year in my life and this month has probably been the worst month out of the year, and this week has been the worst week out of that month, and even though today was filled with being fucked on stims this day is the last day of the year and has most likely been the worst day of the week, actually I dunno, I think the worst day of the week was wednesday. Right now though, it feels like now is the worst hour out of the worst day out of the worst week out the worst month out of the worst year of my life. So I'm pretty depressed right now and I really have no motivation to get myself out of it. Just want to stay in this bed forever and never deal with life again.

This has been a bit of a rant.

Yeah, I'm depressed, it will most likely pass soon if the spin down into depression is anything to go by, but I can't be sure.

All I can be sure of is that I need to cut out the drugs and alcohol if I am to have a chance of getting through this.

Sorry for the massive long ramble.

 

[Jennyfur_Karma_Kin]

Thank you for your response. I'm the same as you, I'll feel much better come the morning, but also need to get to the bottom of how I'm feeling. I don't know if it's an age thing. I turned 30 this year and it's like while I've grown in so many ways I've also had a bit of a crisis thinking about my life and what my priorities are.

I don't know.

Much love and light to you and I hope the new year is good to you.

^^

A few years ago i was living life at what seemed like approaching warp speed , fast forward to the present and im trundling along at a speed of which a district nurse would be proud. Not quite sure of the reason why but with this change came the shutting out of people , and people that i was once quite close to. It seems to play on my mind alot at times like the christmas holidays , times when i manage to snap out of the everyday mundane.

Its now nearly midnight and i only just feel settled enough to open a beer , i think i,l feel much better come the morning though i really do need to get to the bottom of what i have written above.

All the best jennyfur and your not alone in feeling the way you do this new years eve.

 

[rickolasnice]

Urmm.. pretty damn depressed during the week. I go to sleep as soon as i feel i could (normally around 8 ) with the help of 50mgs quetiapine, wake up as late as i can (normally around 8 ) and proceed to dose my 1200 - 1500mg phenibut.. I spend all day waiting for 4pm because for some reason i've deemed it acceptable to go out and buy 15 - 20 units worth of alcohol past that point..

Come friday - me or a friend of mine have normally got some MPA (hence why i'm up at 4:43 having not slept for 2 nights) or if not for the past month or so we've been buying a couple of grams of MDMA.. Binge. Rinse. Repeat.

Yeah I know.. I'm dumb.

(Edit: Btw sorry but i havn't read any of this thread minus the title.. i'll do that now)

 

[rickolasnice]

OK..

I havn't slept for too long to give any personal replies but..

Maybe stop recommending psychedelics, etc as a way of overcoming depression? I'm sure they can help. But they can also make things alot worse :/ I think people have got the message..

To the people that have been mentioning that this year (well.. last year) was shit and things just keep getting worse.. I feel the same :/ Maybe it has something to do with the government continuing to put more and more strain on 99% of the population making their lives just that little bit (or in some cases, big bit) worse.. Also it being winter an all it's alot more likely people would start feeling worse, therefore experiencing (sometimes causing them ourselves) worse things. I dunno. Like i said i havn't slept only 2 days ago i started entering that stimulant induced, paranoid and deluded state that i havn't been in for a fair few months (i'm ok now.. i think :/ I had a quetiapine handy and alot of it was environmental based).. but i'm not the only one.. my girlfriend (although i havn't asked her) is experiencing it and i think even my best mate.. but then again when i take the stims / MDMA they're always right there next to me riding the same ride :/ Ah shit i'm rambling sorry I'll come back when i've slept.

Oh and yeah TDS is a caring and supportive place.. never posted there myself but have read 100s of threads of the years.

 

[YellowPolkaDotHalo]

Maybe stop recommending psychedelics, etc as a way of overcoming depression? I'm sure they can help. But they can also make things alot worse :/ I think people have got the message..

I know what you mean rickolasnice..I rarely recommend any kind of substance anymore ( prescribed or rec).. even if its worked in some way for me.. Ive often ended up feeling like Ive given them a ticket to Pinnochios Pleasure Island.




Also, everyone has unique body chemistry. What helps one person can hurt another. For example.. I cant take speed..
It makes most people euphoric but it makes me depressed. * shrug * dunno why..

 

[ColtDan]

pissed off at myself that i saw in the new years drunk and on meph, then carried on sniffing meph until midday new years day, when i had done so well by not touching that dirty shit for 2 months previous as it makes me depressed and anxious and gives me heart palps etc. fucking brilliant. oh well, same shit different year

 

[Ghostface]

I have not read much in this thread but have similar discussions with friends the past month or so. We attribute a lot of our depression, feeling off etc simply down to the fact that humans have not adapted to our new living environments, i.e. urban surroundings and lifestyle. Maybe in a few hundred years the humans of the future will have adapted? A friend mentioned reading an article about animals living in zoos that showed signs of depression, and while discussing that topic found all too many similarities in the way we live.

I think we have made our lives very complex and add more and more problems the older we get. Fuck if I could, I would try living in a small village completely independent to some extent from world, but not cut off, i.e. solar and wind energy for electricity, some land to farm etc etc.

Life is simple, people make it complex.

I try and live by that, and it helps at times. Most of the weight that we have to carry is a result of other people, and not a result of the simple of fact of trying to live. The less weight you have or are given, the easier it is, or all you have to do, is choose not to carry so much...

 

[Myshkin]

Maybe stop recommending psychedelics, etc as a way of overcoming depression? I'm sure they can help. But they can also make things alot worse :/ I think people have got the message..

I don't think anybody was 'recommending' psychedelics for overcoming depression, there were just a few people relating and discussing their own beneficial experiences with certain substances; no 'recommendations' as such, certainly not as a panacea of some kind.

This is a drugs-related website so it was always going to come up at some point, especially as psychedelic drugs are recognised as potentially valuable tools by many in the psychiatric field. In any case, that particular discussion was done and dusted a while before your post.

So in the interests of your own mental equilibrium, chill.

 

[charlie clean]

I'm as nutty as a fruit cake. No idea where I come from, where I'm going or what I'm doing here.

Just like everyone else, I'm left to wonder what wondrous chance or design created this wonderland we wander and why my species seems to do as much to ruin everything as to make it better. Everything we do is a form of denial and folk who think they're on top of it all are really the crazy ones. We're born and die alone and darkness is always close. In mean times, it's very difficult to predict how people will act; Auschwitz and Srebenica are testimony to our capacity for profound insanity. On the other hand, the achievements of civilisation give us lives beyond the wildest dreams of our ancestors. So why are shopping centres full of miserable faces?

Drug use can help you understand the fluidity of perceptive alternatives. On speed, for example, you find how love and hate are only hours apart. You learn how easily your opinions can change and the illusory and transitory nature of just about everything. A drug community is often more tolerant than its overworld counterpart; when you know how crazy you can be, you're less prone to harshly others too harshly. 'Comedowns' can send you round the twist but you're ok when the chemicals wear off. Can be a form of immunisation. Knowing yourself is the only way to 'get ahead' in any real sense and can't be done by pretending your darkness isn't there.

'Mental health' is usually determined in terms of how well you fit into the society around you.When that society is violent, dishonest, greedy and selfish, all definitions of 'mental illness' are suspect. Way I see it, there are about 20,000 possible responses to any given situation. Most are adequate but only one is really right. Find it and you know you're sane; until then, we're all, to greater or lesser degree, lost and vulnerable.

 

[rockstar 69]

pissed off at myself that i saw in the new years from an alleyway, being schooled by an ape on meph, then carried on sniffing meph off his bumcrust until midday new years day, when i had done so well by not touching that dirty monkey for 2 months previous as it makes me depressed and anxious and gives a sore hoop, i cant even sit down etc. fucking brilliant. oh well, same shit different ape

ColtDan, stay away from the meph dude, it seems to constantly wind up with you being punnished by Donkey Kong.

 

[YellowPolkaDotHalo]

To charlie

Mental health' is usually determined in terms of how well you fit into the society around you.When that society is violent, dishonest, greedy and selfish, all definitions of 'mental illness' are suspect. Way I see it, there are about 20,000 possible responses to any given situation. Most are adequate but only one is really right. Find it and you know you're sane; until then, we're all, to greater or lesser degree, lost and vulnerable.

From what I remember of Sociology ' Anomie is the state of alienationation and erosion of beliefs and values'. Your post reminded me of the term Charlie. That bit in particular ^

Get an allotment

 

[Ismene]

OK..

I havn't slept for too long to give any personal replies but..

Maybe stop recommending psychedelics, etc as a way of overcoming depression? I'm sure they can help. But they can also make things alot worse :/ I think people have got the message..

I dunno, personally I'd think mushrooms once in a while might be a lot healthier than SSRI's - which all the research shows are no more effective than placebo, and any other alleged "anti-depressant" that pharmacorp have come up with.

But exercise and reading, keeping busy, learning an instrument etc are all good options too.

 

[ColtDan]

ColtDan, stay away from the meph dude, it seems to constantly wind up with you being punnished by Donkey Kong.

haha i will. feeling better than expected how you doing today mr cockstar96?

 

[charlie clean]

To charlie




From what I remember of Sociology ' Anomie is the state of alienationation and erosion of beliefs and values'. Your post reminded me of the term Charlie. That bit in particular ^

Get an allotment

Anomeic? Moi? I've perfect colour.

Allotments are for folk who read sociology books. They say things like " you're close to God in the garden " because they don't see the divine everywhere else. Don't think it was God who left the beercans in my bamboo garden, but that's another story