My opinions on gravy? Yargh gravy brings up very dark memories indeed. Takes me back to the great gravy drought of '02. A time long since forgotten, but to me it will forever remain a vile vicious period. There were riots on the streets, theft, rape and worst of all... Dry Yorkshire puddings. The day mother presented me a plate, a plate containing a roast dinner to be exact, but this was no normal roast dinner. At first i let out a chuckle, unaware of the severity of this. "Mother" i says "Son" she hesitantly replied. "Is this some kind of joke? Cos i may have chuckled, but that time is long gone" A foul atmosphere filled the room. Upon my plate there laid, 2 yorkshire puds, 26 roast potatoes, half a carrot & a smithering of leak. An acceptable meal some would think. I scanned the plate desperately looking for even the slightest trace of the brown nectar, but nothing... "Get out, just get out, i cant even look at you in the face anymore" i said. Ignoring my instructions so placed the plate down on my lap. There was a few seconds pass... "UNACCEPTABLE" I screached, throwing the plate across the room. "Leave now women & i dont come back until you have so much gravy i'll be pissing it out for weeks"
Well funny thing is, she left to search for gravy & apparently scored some bootleg stuff from the Albanians down the docks. We chuckled together and tucked in to our 2 bowls of gravy