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The EADD I'm Fucked Megathread - is Super Mario your dad?

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Eveleivibe said:
I was INCREDIBILY angry on Mirtazapine and tried doing myself in. When I screamed and throw a toaster across the room, then absolutely sobbed my heart out as if the world was about to end, I knew it was time to ditch that crap n went back to citalopram. Anytime was better than Mirtazapine. I'd have either been in a loon bin or jail if I'd kept on that stuff.
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Best hope you never need inpatient detox then cos guess what they gave me as the only other 'comfort med' besides paracetamol? One orange flavour fizzy mirtazapine tab per night - supposedly for the sedative effects plus the appetite enhancing effects (the antidepressant effects would never really have a chance to kick in over just a week's use). Didn't do a great deal of anything for me frankly but is the least offensive SSRI I've ever tried. Which is not saying much admittedly.

Eveleivibe said:
I've never take stims but I took opiates n because it's better than the complete emptiness of life where every minute seems like a whole life and you're waiting for bed so you don't have to existing feeling that endless shite called life - they make life worth living. That was my reasoning along with a few others, and I can't speak for others but escapism I'd imagine - pretty much what Shambles said.
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Oddly enough the drug I'd most closely compare to being on SSRIs is being on methadone. Both zombify you and make you feel dead inside. Both also make life possible if you accept you will never feel happiness or joy ever again (until you stop taking them and get over the months of withdrawals anyway). Opiates are surprisingly similar to SSRIs in some ways. They deaded emotion which does have its uses but is no way to live a life longterm. Opies are better antidepressants than SSRIs (in my opinion) because at the very least you can leave off taking your daily dose for long enough that when you do take it you feel... something approaching pleasure even if only for a brief while.
 
I tried to stop talking citalopram but I had this horrible electric feeling through my head every frigging five minutes and wanted to seriously smack someone. I was incredibly angry. I'm actually placid really, honestly.... Maybe this bastard emptiness is down to citalopram and the reason I felt so shitty before what because of what my ex did n that I was thrust into a situation I didn't want to be in, then felt guilty for feeling that way because it was WRONG to feel that bad. But the anger I felt for three years was intense and all-consuming. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to feel anger like that for three years constant but told myself there was nothing wrong as I am lucky and shouldn't be feeling as I felt so just ignored it but the more I ignored it the worst it got until I eventually found codeine LOL....

Evey
 
Shambles said:
Can only speak for myself obviously but when I was first put on Seroxat/paroxetine I had to lie down for a good hour after taking it for the first week cos it hit me like... not exactly like MDMA but similarish - like MDMA's evil, twisted cousin. Was strange and very intense but stopped after the first week. Mostly just zombified me after the initial 3-6 month period. And then there's the withdrawals... :|
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Actually, the nausea felt very much like an aMT come up to me & I did have a couple of moments of my mood being markedly increased. But it faded away & I've yet to attain said levels of happiness again. I don't feel stressed very much but I'm still a bit irritable.

I felt a bit zombified going to 20mg & then 30mg but I seem to have levelled out now. Getting back into doing things rather than sitting browsing BL or watching TV all day like the past 2 weeks.
 
It wasn't nausea for me at all. Closest I could explain it is a bit like taking a massive dose (as in uncomfortably massive) of MDMA that wasn't proper MDMA but nearer some form of piperazine. Really quite unpleasant... but oddly enjoyable in an uberfukked way at the same time.
 
Shambles said:
It wasn't nausea for me at all. Closest I could explain it is a bit like taking a massive dose (as in uncomfortably massive) of MDMA that wasn't proper MDMA but nearer some form of piperazine. Really quite unpleasant... but oddly enjoyable in an uberfukked way at the same time.
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I felt a little strange, like tingling in hands & a bit almost stimulated but more alert on my frist dose... but I took it at night, so that's all I noticed before I fell asleep. I didn't switch to taking it in the morning until after 2.5 weeks.
 
In proper drugs news, am damnably tempted to take some given I found my missing stash last night. Bitcoins and/or 2C-D or just more booze... hmm... decisions decisons...

The latter would obviously be preferable. It is Monday night and EADD is already getting a bit quiet though so would only end up having to post in teh bastard Lounge or summat if I did... However, I would be on Bitcoins and/or 2C-D... decisions decisions...
 
Nice, more booze, sounds better to save em for another night.. or day. altho up to you. getting spangly earlier tomorrow would be lovely

Might bust out this other batch of speed tomorrow, a lot better than the last stuff. white and doesnt overly stink, smoother, more euphoric, more music apprecation, less ticker banging
 
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Hmm... you do have a valid point. I know cos it was also my own point. However... this is already sounding sexy as all fukkery and am now acutely aware that that's just booze and I have a shitload of tracks on hand I'll soon lose (for reasons of no interest to anybody else) that will sound not only that good but quite considerably better with the latter. Plus I'm used to taking drugs alone however frustrating it gets. If I'm this perky and jiggly in me seat on booze then the possibilities are endless... decision made <3
 
Y'see this is where you'd both be amiss. For yer 'average punter' that would make sense. But my days are all the same bar my mood. I'm in a good one now. So makes sense to boost it rather than try to kick myself cheerful when I've thrashed myself into submission already. Times spent with other people take care of themselves. Times spent alone is just me and me chemchums. And these are two of my very bestest of chums. Think of it like your best friend you've not seen in ages ringing your doorbell unexpectedly just when you were feeling good but well aware that would soon turn to feeling horrid, miserable and sorry for yourself - generally a bit pathetic.

Would you still choose booze?
 
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