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Cocaine The dirty road to cocaine?

T

TheCasualSmoker

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
47
Well Bluelight, i must say, i never would have thought i would go down the stereotypical path of a drug user but im on the verge of trying cocaine. I have recently figured that weed and opiates are not my thing as they have never did anything particularly euphoric, yet amphetamine or "Uppers" have always yeileded the results i looked for in drugs. its sad to say i find the more hardcore drugs appealing, but all in all im here to ask a few questions and some advice, deep down i know i shouldn't dabble into cocaine as i have a veryyyyyyy addictive personality, i know myself and i know this is bad in all ways possible for me, but i also know a high that i like and i enjoy is important. The reason i say this is because recently my father has been telling me to stay true to myself, well in all honesty i like doing various drugs and i really dont plan on stopping :(, i have no desire to be Successful in a from of money, but just feeling content and happy, i have always been a very unmotivated downer kind of person, unless on aderall or, MDMA, whenever i have those things in me im like a genius, i feel as if these things are every addicts story, at least to stimulant like drugs, but i seriously just have no desire for money and fancy things to make me happy, i just want to BE happy. i have mentioned joining the military without going through with the recruiters plans, my mom and dad both know i do drugs, and to be honest i think they know im content with my descisions of doing so. but i figured well if i were to be true to myself why not do a drug i like. cocaine is definitely in that category even without trying it i can basically already taste a euphoric presence just from the general idea of uppers or stimulants. i was wondering if anyone could share personal experience with cocaine good or bad and tell me there story's, i feel in my heart i shouldn't do it, i seriously do but i want to experience it, the whole im young mentality might fuck me up, everyone know the stereotype that meth,crack,cocaine is addictive, and me i was addicted to DXM lol so cocaine i can only imagine. Trust me im open to opinons and i will try my best to follow up on the great advice you guys will give. Ive also wondered if i had adhd, partially because ive alwways been in my own world staring off with my thoughts far far away. then again i know how good aderall makes me feel so even if i did get the script for medication like that im sure it wouldnt be a good thing to do, overall i feel very unconfident with myself, very loserish, and very much feel like a failure already, im 18 graduated last year and have been working at mcdonalds spending all my money on weed, i dont have a license or a car, and i just feel bad like i have no big plan for my life, no set career. i dont want to sound like a bizzzznitch but damn man like time is passing me by and im still at the same shitty job, is college or the military really the only option. Anyways my apologies for the wall of text, bad grammar and jumbled questions and thoughts, i just had to get some of these things off my chest and get some opinons, Thanks in advance :D
 
Being 18 and not knowing what you want to do with your life is perfectly normal, man. Hell, I'm almost 30 and I have no idea what I'm doing.

It sounds like you have some attention issues. I'd say go to a doctor and get that adderall script. Try not to abuse it, but even if you do it's safer and cheaper than coke. Coke is way more expensive than it's worth and often cut to shit with nasty business. You're better off using something cleaner.
 
^True about coke being cut a lot, unfortunately. When it is clean it's great, but still addictive, very short-lived (about an hour at most before feeling like you need more), and verrrry expensive, especially because of it's short-lived effects and needing to constantly redose.

It's also true about how it's normal to not know what you want to do either. I am about to turn 29 next week and I am in a position where I have spent the past 4 years pursuing a career I feel I have no intention of remaining in. At least not now. 1 year of extra schooling after a $70,000 BA plus 3 years of my life working up to 55k a year government job and about to give it all up for the peace corps, teaching english and working in farms/living in communes across the globe.

I feel the same as you. Money and material things never made me "happy". Sure they are nice, and comfort is something I love, but I need something to stimulate me, whether it's drugs (not necessarily stimulants, I've actually always preferred oxy or Kratom mostly, besides the occasional psychedelic) or just doing things that are so cool, new and experiential that it keeps me present and happy and satisfied.

So, having said that, my obvious logical advice would be to not try coke, because it's expensive and addictive, but getting a feel from what you said and how you said it I have a feeling you are going to do it regardless. I think if you are going to try it then fine, but like the above poster said, getting a script for adderall may satisfy you temporarily until you find other things in life that make you happy and stimulate you in another, not drug-related way, but get out and do life. Wherever you work, you'd be better off saving your money, and starting a backpacking trip around the world or something. Do whatever you want to do. Even if cocaine or other drugs make you happy in the beginning, trust me addiction will get old. really old, and you will need other things to turn to. So even if you try it, make sure you have other things to identify yourself with so it's not the only thing that you have in life to make you happy, unless you will be stuck in a really bad relationship the rest of your life with a drug that will take every other opportunity away from you.

And even besides all those other things in your head, get it out of your head about always needing something to be happy and and just be happy. Just sit there and watch your mind and all those bullshit thoughts it creates. You will begin to realize your mind has a mind of its own, and you probably won't need to always give into it's desires to need something more to be happy so much. To be honest, cocaine, and all other drugs, are material things. So you are giving into your own anathema. Serendipity shall be your savior. Just give it a chance and put yourself out there. Don't just ride on cocaine.
 
^ I dig that, man. A lot of people misunderstand the relationship between who you are and what your brain does. Your brain does all kinds of crap on its own. You can live your life confusing your brain's processes for your own decisions, or you can treat those processes as input to consider when making your own decisions.
 
Damn man, you're still a young pup. I'd give both nuts to be 18 again (of course, have the knowledge I've gained in my life). Chill out and discover life, don't squelch it. Do a bunch of stuff and see what floats your boat. For the record, I'm really not trying to preach here - I swear! I don't think I've met hardly anyone in my life that knew what they wanted to do at 18. Hell I went back to school and didn't graduate until I was 26. Take a few years and figure it out. Those life lessons will serve you well, I promise. Then if you lucky enough to hit on something that motivates you, your schooling/money won't be wasted trying to figure it out. You'll nail it down and have an honest to goodness "career". Hang in there!
 
I guess this depends on partly where you live,
but I've used cocaine several times and its just been too low in quality and faaaar too expensive for me to pick up a habit. Although I'm very embroiled in heroin, so it may just be a personal preference.

Overall I just really don't think its that great, so your probably better off not wasting your time with it. Try to find a cheaper, more productive hobby
 
That sounds almost exactly like me, right down to the mcdonalds job. I've also felt like a loser and I could never reach my full potential. I had to quit because even though I was making enough money to support myself i was doing more damage to my self esteem from working there.

I've also felt the same way about adderall, I've only tried it a couple times. When I had it I just thought, "this is what's wrong with me and it's what I've been lacking." I also have an addictive personality so I know it could have just been the euphoria talking, but it felt so clean, like I couldn't finally see through the fog and get my life together. While I was on it I accomplished more in a few days than I had months. I wish I could easily get a script for adderall but I've already come out as depressed so I think that boat has sailed, at least until I try every antidepressant, mood stabilizer, and antipsychotic known to man.

I empathize with you, I hope you are able to sort yourself out. I don't think coke is the answer, even abusing adderall is better than abusing coke in my opinion. I have very little experience with both so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.
 
and hey man i see your a little down on yourself, you working at mcdonalds is great. but spending all your money on weed is prob whats making you feel like shit . save your money and maybe pick up a hobby. try working out. that will boost your self esteem and give you a goal to work towards and keep you out of trouble. it did for me. goodluck bud
 
I want to thank each and everyone of you for giving me some damn good advice, to be honest the comments put a smile on my face to see people who share the same views, and even people who have had it worse then me. i think everyone who said to find a good hobby is right. ill have to get my life together and just get out there. i have been verrrrryy sheltered and have really never gone out, and ive only had 2 hobbies, skating and gaming, i think i just need to explore i have a very small group of entertainment which led me into doing drugs. thanks to each and every commenter, i will find a good hobby, i think ill still do a selcet form of drugs and live my life the way i choose but as far as depending on a daily substance to get through life, i think it is somewhat of a lie that i "need it" so of course doing coke(if i could afford it) everyday would be great to but i just need to love who i am and what i do, and be happy without drugs... sometimes ;D.
 
coke is the most overrated drug on the market unless your talking crack. You dont want to get into that its a different beast. The most interesting people I have met in my life dont know what they they want to do at 40 let alone 18 chill out and let life take you on a journey you will know the right thing for you when it comes along take it easy bro
 
Cocaine is a tricky little devil. It usually starts out fun for a short while and then it can turn pretty nasty real quick. You might start by using a half gram etc. but next thing you know you will blow away all your money in one night considering your current employment situation.

And if you can get enough money to keep going, you will and you will keep going and going until you start getting paranoid that there is an army of people outside ready to bust in your door when really it's just a bunch of leaves blowing...not to mention you will stay up for days and not eat and if you have a buddy then you will start using sign language n' shit because you will be unable to talk. All the while so blasted out of your mind but wishing you could just snap your fingers and be straight and this will continue until all your money is gone and everything you own is gone. Oh ya, the comedown and withdrawal when you actually do stop...it's just pure mental agony and it will happen every time you use it.

For me it was just always around and there are many people who sell their kids' presents etc. just to get their cocaine.

Crack is even nutsier...at least with powder cocaine, and I mean high quality (95%+), there comes a point where your sinuses are just done. Crack on the other hand...people stay up for a week straight or more on that stuff.

Tread carefully.
 
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