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The Devil Went Down to Jerzy(Critiquie Welcome of this Cover)

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I had been playing around with this idea for a while. I think I did it right. Tell me otherwise.


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The Devil went down to Jerzy
Looking for a mind to clasp
He was in the green
But bettin' obscene
And needed one more in his grasp
He came across a young man ponderin'
And snuck twixt circuits firin' hot
He spoke in man's own questioning voice
"Boy, lemme tell you what...
It seems in that man's own experience
He can never learn to live
I mean beyond the usual sense
I mean in a way to love and give"

Now the boy said,
"That might have been way back when
But nowadays
there are many ways
that we're the best we've ever been!"

Buddy, sharpen up your mind and plan your words quite well
The angel trapped inside your head comes from the depths of hell
And if you win, you get...well, really, nothing at all-
But if you lose, all hope will probably fall...

The Devil imposed himself and said, "I'll state my case"
And a screaming headache enveloped the boy while tears ran down his face
A flood of horrors flooded his brain, giving their deathly kiss
The argument(In words that is) sounded something like this!

Everything twisted from something pure
Just for the power, the lust and allure
Look at democracy fall flat at your feet
Or AA distort into something replete
With the very vices they try to avoid
Attached to things like food and opioids
Or maybe I'll tell you about rape after rape
after...you get the point, just a repeating tape
Or religion itself, meant to bind
It divides and destroys - how is that kind?
The sins of excess, destroying the earth
People more concerned by keeping their girth
These idiots, fools, who don't really know
That most of their lives are a big stage show
For the master of puppets, their ball and chains
Their destructive resistance to positive change
Or in personal life, the cycles resplendent
Destructive, annoying, entirely dependent
The betrayals quite cosmic in atomic scale
The feeling of that makes atrocities pale
And about that, anyway - Final Solution?
I think that calls for total dissolution!


When the Devil finished, the boy said, "You've got a pretty good point
But lend an ear and then you'll hear why we still deserve this joint!"

Then he wiped the blood from his eyes
And turned to face the Father of Lies
He said one line and he was through

"Now I'm aware of what not to do"

The Devil screeched in pain because he knew that he was beat
He ejected from Buddy's brain onto the ground at his feet.
He looked down at him and said, "Come on back if you wanna pull that shit again-
I told you once , you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been!
 
I think you did an awesome job buddy :)

I liked the way you had the devil speak his words and the boy reject them . I really enjoy your writing style a lot Sam . Your very talented <3
 
I've had much practice rejecting the Devil's words, in and out of these forums.:)

Thanks for liking it.
 
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