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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The Dark Side Social Thread v. Darksiders Forever

Messed up a little this month again running out of my Tramadol early. I think a big part of it was that I cracked my back tooth/molar because I grind my teeth in my sleep. It really hurt & I eventually went to the dentist to get it fixed because it was so painful. But I was definitely doubling up before that appointment. I hate when I run out of Tramadol because I have legitimate chronic pain issues & some perm injury stuff (what’s wrong with me).

It’s just that I used to be prescribed more pain meds plus the tramadol but the over the years of everyone cracking down on pain meds or whatever & me moving to a new place, new doctor … Tramadol is all they’ll give me now (120 tabs of 50 mg a month). I try to be grateful for that but it’s hard when I run out & have to do kratom instead (which doesn’t completely cut it as far as tramadol replacement, so still get a bit of withdrawal). I have to find a better way to make them last. On the plus side I am not running out of the clonazepam early this month (or ever again) after what I went through last month. And I’ve really been cutting down on mj (maybe will completely since it’s been affecting my anxiety). I don’t know, I try, but it’s just hard for me to keep it together, do the ‘rite thing’ whatever that is.

The only thing I did rite in the last years was I quit drinking 6 years ago.

I guess I took for granted when I used to take roxicodone or percs whenever I needed it. Also used to have access to fioricet for migraines but that’s not the case anymore.

Wish I could have a doctor that I could straight up tell all this to & they could steer me into the rite direction instead of judging me or doing what’s rite for any political (or whatever you call it) agenda. I don’t know, just feels like doctors used to be different.

I need to do better…

& find better coping skills for chronic pain & PTSD.
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
The only thing I did rite in the last years was I quit drinking 6 years ago.
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Deserves some credit. Shit could always be a lot worse.
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
Wish I could have a doctor that I could straight up tell all this to & they could steer me into the rite direction instead of judging me or doing what’s rite for any political (or whatever you call it) agenda. I don’t know, just feels like doctors used to be different.

I need to do better…

& find better coping skills for chronic pain & PTSD.
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I relate a lot. Doctors treat everyone differently now even beyond opioids.

As an alcoholic I have had new doctors meet me and literally refuse to treat me.
 
Snafu in the Void said:
I've had really bad experiences with those.

Was it like a REAL virtual doc or one of those purely virtual services that are booming in the US?

Or, youre from up north right? CA?
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Ya Newfoundland Canada and ya it was a real doctor not a pill mill lol. We dont have pill mills here well not usually but my old doc had a good writing arm lol. But the virtual doc was just going off what my gp and shrink thought was best i guess
 
Snafu in the Void said:
Deserves some credit. Shit could always be a lot worse.

I relate a lot. Doctors treat everyone differently now even beyond opioids.

As an alcoholic I have had new doctors meet me and literally refuse to treat me.
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Gracias 💜

Here’s to finding hope and/or down to earth, helpful doctors in the future ((hugs))
 
so if most of what it is is ~90 darkness wth is going on?
broken record;
maybe its innda skip.... ( ? )
 
Not a good start to the year so far. Fucking universe is majorly fucking with me. Nothing is going my way no matter how hard i try. If i end up homeless ima become a fucking gangster instead.
 
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Reactions: Ds
^ if i had to be homeless it would mean i had nothing left tro loose so why not take a relatively small risk and just sell some coke or whatever you can get your hands on would have no problem selling my morphine scvript except that if i do get caught id never get another script again so fuck that for now. But if it came down to being hungry or taking a risk i just might i dont know I
 
TripSitterNZ said:
Not a good start to the year so far. Fucking universe is majorly fucking with me. Nothing is going my way no matter how hard i try. If i end up homeless ima become a fucking gangster instead.
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This year has sucked for everyone. Knowing me if i were a gangster then I'd be terrible and accidentally shoot myself in the cock. Because that's how I roll G ya feel me?

Being homeless has it's ups and downs, you have all the freedom in the world to do whatever the fuck you want, but at the same time it's easy to get caught up in the system.

If it comes down to it then only worry about yourself, don't fall victim. ❤️
 
Not so good news. Parents and I fought again because dad went back on his word. He said 4 weeks and then when I rung my aunty we had a chat and sorted it out. But then my social worker rang my mom and asked her what was going on. Turns out dad won't let me see pop. Well, I got the booster shot that destroyed my ears so I could see him. I had a mental breakdown because of my ear problems and freaked pop out, so dad said I'd wait 4 weeks to see him again to give him a break. Turns out it wasn't 4 weeks. I'd had a meltdown and they never told me that I'd wait longer. They never told me anything changed. So the 4 weeks was a lie. I ruined my life to get to see my grandpa before he meets with his maker.

So I blocked my parents on the phone. Oh, and I decided to bring the expiry date forward. Sadly, it was 2 years from end of March this year, so March 2025. Then they told me I was not to go down for 4 weeks to see pop, and we had a fight because dad wouldn't listen to me and tried to play it down. So I later told them by text that I will bring it forward to March 2024. So I had 1 year to live.

Sadly, I've had to bring that forward 6 months. So it's now September 2023.

It's going to be hard to say goodbye, but I just cannot deal with this anymore. I have roughly 8 months left and the clock is ticking day in day out.

I've also blocked my parents for 1 month. If they do this shit again, I will block them and only unblock them the week or so before I die. Then we will chat and it will be a quick burst, about 10 or 15 minutes.

Still looking for that vinylbital. In vain, but still looking.
 
Flynnal said:
but still looking.
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We will always be "looking" in my experience.
Keep looking what you are looking for is there for you.
Stay around with us bro/sis and mentor for some like me and others. Ya' know... There are people around that goes through this very same process and care about you. I have been there and go through cycles but lets reason a little, no?
This is in essence a harm reduction forum. We got gats but do they really make thing "better"?
A lot of us is in the dark. Maybe all. Some very good vibes, people and support is always around BL
This is posted in love, acceptance and as a peer.
If I have permission I would like to send a personal message (PM)?
<3
 
They only took 5 urine samples. They normally take 10-12 so it Lasts longer the process but I guess I had proof of my history with opiates and hospital visits cause of h. They were very interested about my history with heroin so I Guess Thats whjy im the first To get straight To done In. This city.
 
schizopath said:
They only took 5 urine samples. They normally take 10-12 so it Lasts longer the process but I guess I had proof of my history with opiates and hospital visits cause of h. They were very interested about my history with heroin so I Guess Thats whjy im the first To get straight To done In. This city.
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Do they make you pay for the shit? Since we are talking MMT its $15 a day to dose. Thats a bag of dope here. Guess in the long run how that they start you off at 30mg and you just tell them to up your dose.
My bud is on 200mg a day and with 2 week take homes.
I couldn't imagine how to live a life without being on that shit at such a high dose.
 
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