🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The Dark Side Social Thread v. Darksiders Forever

[JessFR]

I think it's just dumb to have some sort of "standard" for what rock bottom means.

@Pumpkin2021 that's what I meant --^

The only true rock bottom is death. There's always another rock bottom that can await you up till then.

I'd say I've had at least 3.. My suicide attempt when my family found out the full extent of my drug problems, becoming homeless. And ending up prostituting myself would be 3 possible "rock bottoms" time periods I can think of.

But there's always room for more.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Ive had 4 or 5 but who's counting. I've been wanting to be sober for 16 years.

 

[JessFR]

Ive had 4 or 5 but who's counting. I've been wanting to be sober for 16 years.

Guess it depends a bit on how you define it.

I'm defining it as times when drugs caused a rapid downward disruption in life.

The latter 2 are obvious, homelessness sucks, selling yourself sucks.

My suicide attempt was a mixed bag, it lead to some improvements, cause ultimately it led to me leaving home and getting involved in a relationship that I don't regret, in spite of how rough it got when it eventually ended.

But it also involved a lot of drama and disappointment in my family. It was about when they first realized just how serious my drug issues were.

Mixed bag..

 

[MydriHaze]

Go post that in the ceps meme thread.
No, seriously, that's one of the best politics memes I've seen in ages and it's too good to not also be in the ceps meme thread. :D

Weeeeell i'm not gonna say that you're wrong, even though with you i want to, don't know why.... Your right though, it deserved way much attention that it did, but i'm use to it

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Guess it depends a bit on how you define it.

I'm defining it as times when drugs caused a rapid downward disruption in life.

The latter 2 are obvious, homelessness sucks, selling yourself sucks.

My suicide attempt was a mixed bag, it lead to some improvements, cause ultimately it led to me leaving home and getting involved in a relationship that I don't regret, in spite of how rough it got when it eventually ended.

But it also involved a lot of drama and disappointment in my family. It was about when they first realized just how serious my drug issues were.

Mixed bag..

The only true rock bottom is death. There's always another rock bottom that can await you up till then.

I'd say I've had at least 3.. My suicide attempt when my family found out the full extent of my drug problems, becoming homeless. And ending up prostituting myself would be 3 possible "rock bottoms" time periods I can think of.

But there's always room for more.

@JessFR I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of this, I hope things improve and you find someone special who will take you away from all the bad things you are going through, I really do Jess.

 

[deficiT]

Hey TDS, I'm back from the other side. Had a fabulous adventure in a solitary jail cell the past week. It was brutal and hopefully I'll be able to give you guys the full run down soon... But safe to say the old me died in that cell. Or I killed him. Or something. I have to do better going forward. And that's my plan.

I'm checking into rehab Thursday, if anyone would like a pen pal, please let me know and I'll you dm you my deets. I could really use some friends.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ @deficiT said it before and I'll say it again, SO so so glad you're okay

33 is a good age actually ( I will be 63 tomorrow ). From 30 to 40 I was relatively stable. It was from 40 to 60 that I ran into the trouble . I think everything happens when it's supposed to happen. Like a big cosmic joke or something. Enjoy your life and don't be too hard on yourself. When it's time to get serious...you'll know. Your heart is going to tell you even if your mind is doing the opposite.

I 100% agree Pumpkin. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and that things happen when they should.

I talk way too much shit about myself. I'm aware it's not healthy but it's hard to stop for some reason.

Thank you friend, although it grinds my gears when people say things like "you just haven't hit rock bottom yet".

Every single time I'm at rock bottom, suicidal, homeless, in jail or whatever, when I reach out to friends or family they ALWAYS say that. I want to scream I AM!!!

Maybe they are right? Then the thought of that pisses me off even more. ;(

I had 6 or 7 rock bottoms before I said enough already. I can't take it anymore. The 7th rock bottom was an eye opener I'll tell ya. Its ok my friend. We all speak ill of ourselves at times. Just go a little easier. You matter plenty.

The only true rock bottom is death. There's always another rock bottom that can await you up till then.

I'd say I've had at least 3.. My suicide attempt when my family found out the full extent of my drug problems, becoming homeless. And ending up prostituting myself would be 3 possible "rock bottoms" time periods I can think of.

But there's always room for more.

Ive had 4 or 5 but who's counting. I've been wanting to be sober for 16 years.

Ahhhh the ol' Rock Bottom.
I've been ruminating on my response to this for hours while I've been cleaning the house. Now I've gotta head to work.
Let's just say I've hit "rock bottom" many times. The first time I hit rock bottom I thought "oh wow okay, so this is what it's like. NOW I'll recover and get clean/sober and everything will be good from here on in".

Oh wow. I smile at the naïvety of it all

Similarly to Snaf and probably many others on here, I've had 4 or 5 or maybe more "rock bottoms". Surprisingly my most recent sober stint was not sparked by another rock bottom, rather, I think everything I have learned from all my many many stints in detoxes, hospital visits, rehabs, psych wards etc all just clicked and my brain/body just went OKAY enough's enough, we're sober now. Boom. Done.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Similarly to Snaf and probably many others on here, I've had 4 or 5 or maybe more "rock bottoms". Surprisingly my most recent sober stint was not sparked by another rock bottom, rather, I think everything I have learned from all my many many stints in detoxes, hospital visits, rehabs, psych wards etc all just clicked and my brain/body just went OKAY enough's enough, we're sober now. Boom. Done.

Everyone has their own path towards sobriety but a lot of people simply "mature" out of addictions. We get older. Enough is enough.

I'm really at that point myself as well, staying away from drugs is easy but alcohol is tricky for me.

The fact that I can go 2-3 days without drinking says a lot though with where I'm at with it all.

I'm not the crazy wild druggy I used to be anymore. I'd rather just be a normie now. Takes some adjustment. I'll be adjusting for awhile, but the only direction I flow is to calmer waters.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

The governments all around the world need to set up funding for addiction. Hell most places that are running things for addicts are not funded by the government and instead run by volunteers and donations. Alot of them usually run by religious folks. My dads friend managed to eventually get clean from heroin hes now in his 60's. But through his 30's was still shooting up. Never give up yourself everybody you have made it this far so you must be strong.

I want to see the government make state of the art facilities that have enough support and room to be able to help alot of people through it all sadly whatever is in place these days does not cut it. It will still be hard but going to the efforts to provide them a safe place were they can get feed clothed and looked after without judgement for free is important. This is a massive public health issue that has fuck all funding from these people in charge.

My friend got his job back now and i talked to him and now he went to one meeting at this support group for men and said it helped him alot he has a mentor who to shoot up for 30+ years and is now sober. And its given him hope. I will never turn my back on my friends who are deep in addiction because what a addict needs is support and somebody to talk to who can hopefully convince them to try get any help that is out there.

I quit stimulants when i hit 52 kg was totally broke and would of been homeless if i didn't have my parents to live with and recover. Then it dawned on me i didn't want to be another statistic. I had friends kill themselves over meth had relatives killed over drug deals in the 1980s. Last year my friend kill himself addicted to benzos. That was a realization i had to pick up my life again and do something to get busy. The same day he killed himself i was going to kill myself that morning.

I will never miss those days of believing the CIA had tapped my phone and put microphones and cameras in my house that every car was a undercover cop trying to get me and all the shadow men and demons in bushes or walking around the rooms. Omg and the shit i use to message people who i knew i didn't even realize i was crazy lol and ignored them when they said i needed help. Cause what i was experiencing was 100% real to me in that moment. i use to take the battery out of my phone talk in code words in real life cause i believed they had bugged microphones everywhere. I believe ghosts were trying to give me the messages to save humanity i would walk through random forests chanting various shit wired out of my mind believing i was cleansing the world of negative energies.

Just remembering that keeps me from falling back into my old ways.

I might one day work up the courage to go to a support group myself to learn better coping methods.

 

[deficiT]

I will never miss those days of believing the CIA had tapped my phone and put microphones and cameras in my house that every car was a undercover cop trying to get me and all the shadow men and demons in bushes or walking around the rooms.

Meth is a strange one man. Never again for me personally. I love it a lot but probably a little too much. It makes me compulsive and paranoid after a certain point. Tends to get me into a lot of trouble. Ain't worth it.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

Well i got one massive report finished then get a email for a different course saying i aint done enough practical work so ill have to make it up with a written work within one week 20 page literature review did 4 pages. Got two other assignments due aswell. Time to see if i pull off 30 pages within 7 days. never felt more alive been under this pressure. Im going to try wake up 7:30 am each day and work my ass off each waking minute. Fuck if i pull it off im going to proud of myself. I love a good challenge if the stress gets at me i somehow feel better acutally pushing myself to my limits instead of been a bum doing drugs unemployed.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Everyone has their own path towards sobriety but a lot of people simply "mature" out of addictions. We get older. Enough is enough.

I'm really at that point myself as well, staying away from drugs is easy but alcohol is tricky for me.

The fact that I can go 2-3 days without drinking says a lot though with where I'm at with it all.

I'm not the crazy wild druggy I used to be anymore. I'd rather just be a normie now. Takes some adjustment. I'll be adjusting for awhile, but the only direction I flow is to calmer waters.

I'm not even trying to go fully sober, just back to what the Doctor prescribed, but life has gotten so unbearable I can't and I'm not even talking about the Covid pandemic, that never bothered me to begin with. Just life itself, so at the moment I can't though I'm trying to take less benzos.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

i still believe god works in mysterious ways with the timings of things might of had all this work thrown at me but also finally matched with what seems like a cool chick who acutally talks and replies. With this new work load its gonna force me to sober up aswell. Been doing 25 minutes of meditation or more since i started again at night and feeling better i believe it does work. My super close friends might be all overseas but they reminded me that our brotherhood is tight and close even though we all busy getting life sorted.

Aint gonna throw my life away anymore god reminded me in many ways that there is a plan and lessons for me to learn for me to grow and heal. Even though things are going to be tough this journey serves a greater purpose in life and thats the beauty of it all you never know what each day brings some days are painful and hard while others have small moments of beauty that make you reflect and be grateful that your still fighting foward through it all. The last three months flew past me it had its up and downs and i was almost done in at one point but i removed fake people out of my life and just rode it out to see what the new dawn brings. Another chapter in the story of life last year this time i was fried out of mind and every day to me was the day i was gonna take a 12 gauge to my head. Now im here in a better state than what i was with a new determination to work hard.

i know all this hard work will pay off for my future and things can only get better if i keep trying and grinding out this hole i put myself in the first place.

Eventually i need to get the funds and get a car though thats holding me back big time and still will be another 6 months away at least.

Plus if things do work out with a nice girl i will 100% go sober completely and settle down. I just hope if i have kids in the future they don't end up repeating my mistakes but ill teach them well. I honestly did not know what was installed going back to study i knew it was going to be hard but it was a shocker but now i feel like im getting back into the grove of it all. Ima try learn forgiveness and practice compassion meditation aswell. Its time i let go of all this hate in me one day. I was the dark person who carried a hit list in my mind of people i ever saw again i would harm them thats not good at all. My patterns are becoming more obvious to me now and its time i break free and be like a bird flying free in the sky.

I need to give back to society one day when i have the time i should try volunteer groups or something would be a good way to meet people aswell.

 

[MyrandaK]

Everyone has their own path towards sobriety but a lot of people simply "mature" out of addictions. We get older. Enough is enough.

I'm really at that point myself as well, staying away from drugs is easy but alcohol is tricky for me.

The fact that I can go 2-3 days without drinking says a lot though with where I'm at with it all.

I'm not the crazy wild druggy I used to be anymore. I'd rather just be a normie now. Takes some adjustment. I'll be adjusting for awhile, but the only direction I flow is to calmer waters.

If you go one day without, good job! Me, if I can go to work and work 8+ hours without any, I did great! My adjustment period sucks because I have pending felonies at the very, exact same time. And it’s slow because I’m too behind on sleep and I’m tired. But I’m expecting to slowly mature out of it. Transition to an even better lifestyle than I had before. God is good. Praise the Lord.

 

[Jabberwocky]

If you go one day without, good job! Me, if I can go to work and work 8+ hours without any, I did great! My adjustment period sucks because I have pending felonies at the very, exact same time. And it’s slow because I’m too behind on sleep and I’m tired. But I’m expecting to slowly mature out of it. Transition to an even better lifestyle than I had before. God is good. Praise the Lord.

Luckily even through my extreme drinking I've always been the person to USUALLY be able to wake up and be sober 9-10 hours thru work days. I certainly drank quite a bit in the morning and on my lunch - but that wasn't a normal day for me luckily.

The fact I could usually not drink during the day I GRATEFULLY THANK for the fact that after 10 years I do not have any major physical dependence to alcohol.

Really sorry about being on paper on the felonies and shit. I haven't been on paper (probation/parole) for over 5 years and honestly I can't afford to get my 3rd felony. Fuck that.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Just curious.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Luckily even through my extreme drinking I've always been the person to USUALLY be able to wake up and be sober 9-10 hours thru work days. I certainly drank quite a bit in the morning and on my lunch - but that wasn't a normal day for me luckily.

The fact I could usually not drink during the day I GRATEFULLY THANK for the fact that after 10 years I do not have any major physical dependence to alcohol.

Really sorry about being on paper on the felonies and shit. I haven't been on paper (probation/parole) for over 5 years and honestly I can't afford to get my 3rd felony. Fuck that.

I am SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY that during my entire 18 year hardcore drinking career, I didn't lose one job because of drinking (I drank on the job at multiple jobs), I never got caught drink-driving (I drunk-drove thousands of times, many times in an unregistered car and unlicensed, and no I am not proud of it). The only damage I did was the lost relationships of people who gave up on me, and a small patch of cirrhosis on my liver. Other than that I somehow managed to come out of it relatively unscathed. I will say it again, SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

im feeling better after removing fake people out of my life aswell. Sometimes it better be alone than have many friends. you only need a few close friends in life.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Sometimes it better be alone than have many friends. you only need a few close friends in life.

Your damn straight about that TripSitterNZ.

 

[JessFR]

Your damn straight about that TripSitterNZ.

Yeah, I would muuuch rather have a small handful of real, true friends, than a hundred fair weather friends.

To me those aren't friends, they're an acquaintance you're friendly with.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Yeah, I would muuuch rather have a small handful of real, true friends, than a hundred fair weather friends.

To me those aren't friends, they're an acquaintance you're friendly with.

True Jess, my dad use to say, you're better off alone than in bad company.