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Doing the whole Valium and a little sniff of some Sub. My permanent tolerance to benzos, means I have to take 50mg to feel anything
 
Getting deeper Into addiction once again. Life is a spiral of just repeating same shit. Became an alcoholic recently drinking heavily every night for weeks on end wondering when I will stop. Depression was here but i dont feel a single thing since I just drunk and snorted endless Iines of k to forget about my life. Cant even go on a date. But I will keep fighting on through life and start a new chapter in a few months but I hope I manage the stress and not fall down deeper into drugs after I got free from alot of addictions.
 
Have been in a long state of depression for a while now myself. Hopefully the removal of stress after this finals week helps relieve it. Then I can just work and make money without having to balance that plus school.

my depression seems to always come about when I’m stressed, I go into fight or flight mode and always end up with flight :/
 
Be me
Be completely in sync with the universe
All you have to do is actually listen to yourself
For example "my veins need a rest"
But you cant even do that
Now your main vein is taking a break from being your vein-fleshlight
OH FUCK

For fucks sake. Now I truly gotta take a break before I start missing tizanide on my leg and its bye bye
 
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gonna take some adderall tomorrow to finish an essay i procrastinated on for weeks becuz i'm a piece of shit. thank you god, creating speed.

one day i'll actually take responsibility for my actions and do what needs to be done in a normal manner but probably not until i hit rock bottom first
 
15 mg of adderall was great for about 6 hours. Now i'm crashing and just binging on the internet (but tbf i always do that)

at least i finished an essay i had to do

i feel like a POS for needing to take amph to get stuff done but this is the first time i've done it in over a year. i dont think i abuse it but i still feel guilty
 
yeah i dont plan to take them often. i have two more doses left which i was thinking of taking to study for another test tomorrow and the day after. it's finals weeks so obv i just have a lot to do. i didn't use them all semester (or last semester) so just using during finals prob isn't the worst huh?

might not be best to do 3 days in a row. i'll have to see how restful my sleep is tonight.
 
decided i'm not gonna take it. i had trouble falling asleep last night and i dont wanna risk shitty sleep the night before an 8 am exam...

prob gonna take it during a 6 hr road trip i have planned with a buddy of mine over winter break. recreational use is much easier for me to control lol
 
Before seeing the light
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Now
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