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Social The Dark Side Social Thread v. Darksiders Forever

How can you people use stims in such tension times?Especially people living close to war zone?If you are non addicted to stims?.Here most of people are on this shit and is much scary,than the old H days.Crimes up,car accidents up,mental institutions full with young people with totally destroying brains.....yes there is much less dead from od....but this meth......i hate this shit.Never wanted to touch it again.....fuck even with benzos can't sleep.This shit got only one use for me
use-on front line.
 
Im pretty depressed. Even moreso than usual. For my ex and myself too. Saw her today and shes back on the self-hate stim cycle. Shes saying shit like we are too different and I deserve someone better. Breaks my heart. Didnt think it was even possible. Never seen her as depressed as she was today too. We are on good terms otherwise atleast.

I got 9 numbers to call on the morning about apartments on a bigger city. Guess Im gonna sleep at my friends place tomorrow.

I just feel bad. I dont feel like killing myself or that kinda shit but like sad, bad and more bad.
 
Fuck it. Still not sure if I got probation or just a fine. Gotta check the poste restante mail tomorrow. Still havent called about apartments and been couchsurfing. Guess I got shit to do tomorrow.
 
I posted several months ago about just divorcing my extremely abusive ex. I’ve blocked his number and all accounts on any social media, he even stalked my LinkedIn profile. Several days ago found handwritten notes on my windshield. Despite his continued attempt to reach me I’ve been pretty successful in staying safe and my mental health is slowly but surely getting so much better. I felt I’d aged 10 years and I’m finally feeling that stress melt away. Properly medicated after trying 6 antidepressants, taking benzos strictly as needed. My kids said I’ve laughed more in the last couple months than I have in years. I forgot how it feels not to wake up on edge to have to deal with a narcissistic sociopath on a daily basis. I sing out loud randomly, I dance around my room, I smile thinking about the future. It is possible to escape a bad situation no matter how long it may take. Just wanted to give a positive update ❤️ Always loved this site and the support it gives in so many different areas. Thank you to those who take the time to read these words.
 
BK38 said:
Exsistence is pain atm. I have nerve damage in my left arm and can barely use it compounded by a terrible month of dealing with c-ptsd, tearing relationships apart, a 3 week stint in the psych ward etc. I’m still here and trying though. The garden is rainy and grey, punctuated by brief stints of sun. I’m still here though,
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Depressed but still trying
 
deficiT said:
I feel that brotha. I am right there with you. It's been tough but we gotta keep trucking.
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My life has been such a roller coaster and I’ve been in far worse situations. Ironically this stint of bad luck wasn’t down to drug use, just poor planning for a move to a different city, then reemergence of my c-ptsd, a devestating physical hit with this compression injury that could take months to heal or may need surgical intervention. I did the two women in my life badly with emotional/physically cheating, for which I’m ashamed. I’m mentally and physically struggling, not to mention the mounting medical costs. I’m trying to get on the French medical system, which should hopefully eliminate 70% of that debt. But I’m unable to work really and am close to 13k in the hole. My mom is taking care of me and I feel like such a burden. I have flashbacks and am prescribed 40mg of Valium a day, plus NSAIDs. I’m craving oxy and heavy opiates, which I haven’t for a long time. I just want the nightmare to end. I’d never do it but I know I’m in trouble with some suicidal ideation, but I could never do it. I almost attempted when I was 19 and in a dark place with heroin addiction. I’ve been clean from that for 10 years now though. Thanks for letting me vent and the kind words, I feel really alone and lonely.
 
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man these mfs got me over here doing satellite recon of the area im onlooking for work. theres a lot of steel and water and its all industrial they allays need welders. i mean everything has been poisoned for hundreds around here (its sad) of years but wtf?
i can just walk down the tracks
would post the sat imgs but yeeeeeee..... you know. ya might come steal my job or drugs. lol

*sighs deeply
 
BK38 said:
My life has been such a roller coaster and I’ve been in far worse situations. Ironically this stint of bad luck wasn’t down to drug use, just poor planning for a move to a different city, then reemergence of my c-ptsd, a devestating physical hit with this compression injury that could take months to heal or may need surgical intervention. I did the two women in my life badly with emotional/physically cheating, for which I’m ashamed. I’m mentally and physically struggling, not to mention the mounting medical costs. I’m trying to get on the French medical system, which should hopefully eliminate 70% of that debt. But I’m unable to work really and am close to 13k in the hole. My mom is taking care of me and I feel like such a burden. I have flashbacks and am prescribed 40mg of Valium a day, plus NSAIDs. I’m craving oxy and heavy opiates, which I haven’t for a long time. I just want the nightmare to end. I’d never do it but I know I’m in trouble with some suicidal ideation, but I could never do it. I almost attempted when I was 19 and in a dark place with heroin addiction. I’ve been clean from that for 10 years now though. Thanks for letting me vent and the kind words, I feel really alone and lonely.
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I recently lost the love of my life to an opioid overdose. Don't fall into that trap man it ain't worth it. Please stick through brother that strength is within you I promise 💪 it hasn't been an easy few months but I'm surviving too. Some minor ideation but that's about it. Gonna persevere.
 
BK38 said:
just poor planning for a move to a different city, then reemergence of my c-ptsd
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Same kind of thing happening to me, brother. Almost exactly.
I went from feeling almost super human to a piece of worthless shit.
It has gotten to the point that I have to reach out for help for my mental state cause it isnt getting any easier to deal with yet. I get a little ray of light here and there but darkness surrounds me (or so I feel) and in this I am lost, cofused af and feeling paralyzed.
Sometimes it seems there is no moving forward. Then something happens and it balances for a minute. Then hell again.
After 27 years together it now appears that me and SO will be pulling away from each other. Yeah. WTF. It cannot happen all at one time brcause she is more reliant on me and now I have to deal with setting her up with a care taker or whatever through her insurance thing but this is her choice not mine. This dumps a ton of stress on me on top of what I am already dealing with.
Sorry I cannot offer any comfort other than as has been exprrssed: there are others in this boat maybe we can figure out how to use the oars to navagate to a place of sanity.... idk
Always love
 
6am-64-14m said:
Same kind of thing happening to me, brother. Almost exactly.
I went from feeling almost super human to a piece of worthless shit.
It has gotten to the point that I have to reach out for help for my mental state cause it isnt getting any easier to deal with yet. I get a little ray of light here and there but darkness surrounds me (or so I feel) and in this I am lost, cofused af and feeling paralyzed.
Sometimes it seems there is no moving forward. Then something happens and it balances for a minute. Then hell again.
After 27 years together it now appears that me and SO will be pulling away from each other. Yeah. WTF. It cannot happen all at one time brcause she is more reliant on me and now I have to deal with setting her up with a care taker or whatever through her insurance thing but this is her choice not mine. This dumps a ton of stress on me on top of what I am already dealing with.
Sorry I cannot offer any comfort other than as has been exprrssed: there are others in this boat maybe we can figure out how to use the oars to navagate to a place of sanity.... idk
Always love
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May you sail bravely forth to a better spot in your life. Wishing you peace and love in these trying times.
 
BK38 said:
May you sail bravely forth to a better spot in your life. Wishing you peace and love in these trying times.
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Man I want this for us all.
I do not feel it is impossible for this to be realized... just so much static that coming up with sustainable solutions is fuckin my head up........ more like frustrations.
I am going to see a doctor monday to unload and hopefully delete a lot of old baggage so that maybe there will be room to work out this new bull shit.
I feel sorry for ol doc hope I do not drive her insane.... No offense to anyone but my insanity is intact held together with duct tape and crazy glue.
There is hope.
There are answers.
I am tired of being "paralyzed" the last coupla years and got to try get past this.
There are a lot of us going through some very rough times here. A lot of smart MFs with skills unlimited. I feel we can get past all this together. Somehow.... fuck
Although I would rather not have to deal with all this and death is welcome at any time I cannot just bow my head and let it get chopped off. Death does not want me and god has forsaken me. Fuck em... we just gotta figure this out, man.
We got this I am just an impatient mf and care for others, creatures and nature.
Hang with me bro inspiration can be blinding when it comes but its like the lotto ya gotta play to win.
Staying alive is key in this "movement" of breaking free of the madness that is sooo heavy at times a mf just wants to lay down.
Im so fuckin frustrated right now I could rip myself apart like rumple stilskin
"The moral is simple: Avoid the Rumpelstiltskin Paradox.

Set expectations and communicate your ability to make the complex look effortless. Otherwise, you’ll end up tearing yourself apart."

Fuckin paradoxes it all is but where lies our "answer"?
another fuck
<3
 
6am-64-14m said:
Man I want this for us all.
I do not feel it is impossible for this to be realized... just so much static that coming up with sustainable solutions is fuckin my head up........ more like frustrations.
I am going to see a doctor monday to unload and hopefully delete a lot of old baggage so that maybe there will be room to work out this new bull shit.
I feel sorry for ol doc hope I do not drive her insane.... No offense to anyone but my insanity is intact held together with duct tape and crazy glue.
There is hope.
There are answers.
I am tired of being "paralyzed" the last coupla years and got to try get past this.
There are a lot of us going through some very rough times here. A lot of smart MFs with skills unlimited. I feel we can get past all this together. Somehow.... fuck
Although I would rather not have to deal with all this and death is welcome at any time I cannot just bow my head and let it get chopped off. Death does not want me and god has forsaken me. Fuck em... we just gotta figure this out, man.
We got this I am just an impatient mf and care for others, creatures and nature.
Hang with me bro inspiration can be blinding when it comes but its like the lotto ya gotta play to win.
Staying alive is key in this "movement" of breaking free of the madness that is sooo heavy at times a mf just wants to lay down.
Im so fuckin frustrated right now I could rip myself apart like rumple stilskin
"The moral is simple: Avoid the Rumpelstiltskin Paradox.

Set expectations and communicate your ability to make the complex look effortless. Otherwise, you’ll end up tearing yourself apart."

Fuckin paradoxes it all is but where lies our "answer"?
another fuck
<3
Click to expand...
The answer to this riddle is both within ourselves and every other persons truth. It’s great you’ll be seeing someone to unload the baggage. A problem shared is a problem halved. I have a therapist appointment in 10 days and am still in touch with my ex-therapist who I can call and lean on as a good friend who knows about my childhood, drugs, emotional neglect etc. I think I have undiagnosed adhd and already have C-PTSD diagnosed. 一步一步 a step at a time as the Chinese would say. We just have to brave the tempest no matter how bad things get. I have faith in you, you’re stronger than you know. 1 love, BK
 
Think I finally got properly over my Ex and my obsession To her. Shit my mind is fucked, benzos and bupre are my antipsychotics. Next friday Im going with my 2 friends To teh big city To Look for an apartment + we can afford dat dope in dere + we can hussle a bit.
 
I got this Something going on with my friends friend. Idk, she knows I wanna fuck her and she likes my company. Shes also on an open relationship. Truly buzzling??? Oh and Shes 10 years younger and hot as fuck.
 
good night yall
think i will close eyes, sleep, process.
damn
must be easy being cheesey.
chesta chz
lol
 
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