• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

The Dark Side Check-In Thread ver. 2009 > 2008

Status
Not open for further replies.
I just got a job today and I start tomorrow I'm so happy, plus I got a personal goal I'll hopefully be getting to soon, and my 2c's (2c-i and 2c-c) will be here hopefully this week with my new scale I'm so excited! So I thought I'd check in with some good news for a change (as apposed to all the bad things that happen to everyone, including myself). This is rare for me so sorry I have to gloat a bit, I rarely am able to say I'm happy at all - so I'm taking advantage of it, sorry everyone ;) Nothing personal. Hope everyone else is doing good (sorry didn't read everyones posts I'm sort of in a rush at the moment), peace and love.

-dp

Depression & Anxiety MEGA Thread - Depression/Anxiety Talk + Over 100 Links of Info
 
^Good for you. Keep it up! And that's a fantastic thread you and Stella have put together. I intend to put its resources to use.

My depression has been in "full" remission for over a week now - by that I mean I don't have bad or negative feelings beyond the average day, whatever that is. I've started a course of 50 mg tramadol with my coffee in the morning. I feel better. The rest is in my AA thread which should really be renamed to something a little more comprehensive... will come up with something catchy sometime. ;)
 
Mariposa said:
^Good for you. Keep it up! And that's a fantastic thread you and Stella have put together. I intend to put its resources to use.
Click to expand...

I sure hope you do because I spent many hours putting it all together lol and the more use it gets the better!

Mariposa said:
My depression has been in "full" remission for over a week now - by that I mean I don't have bad or negative feelings beyond the average day, whatever that is. I've started a course of 50 mg tramadol with my coffee in the morning. I feel better. The rest is in my AA thread which should really be renamed to something a little more comprehensive... will come up with something catchy sometime. ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks as well for the praise Mariposa, today I put about another 4-5 hours worth of work into the thread making it as perfect as I could with many more links (I think there's close to 130 now) which should help a lot of people out. Any suggestions on what to add are greatly welcome especially from you :)

I'm glad to hear you're in remission for your depression as of right now, and I hope it stays like that forever but we all know all good things must come to an end. I sincerely hope you don't hold it all in and can release your feelings at least in this thread at the very least seriously... if not talk to a therapist (if you're not already). Off and on again depression sucks completely, yeah maybe its not like bipolar where I'm depression for very long while at a time but it still messes with you and you have mood swings, who wants to be around that? Ya know? Anyway hope you continue feeling better!

-dp

Depression & Anxiety MEGA Thread - Depression/Anxiety Talk + Over 100 Links of Info
 
i'll check in.

still a stim abuser. but I'm happy with it. not affecting my life too much, ecept making me happier.
lost my gf, that sucks.

my job is okay-meh.

but I got great friends, so I am doing fine, even if the world isnt always that nice. tho I lost one of them in afghanistan, I know he died doing what he wanted, so I will try not to be too sad for it
 
I'm checking in.

I haven't done any speed!!! Yayyy!! Can't remember how long off it (just over 3 weeks, maybe?), but its been a little bit, and I'm feeling good.

But, today I had to get some codeine (OTC, totally LEGAL) for a massive headache. I seriously hope that that doesn't screw my recovery from opiates, which I've been off of for over a month, I believe. But I really did need it, and that wasn't from a drug addict's viewpoint. So, here's to no more [un-needed] opiates!!!
 
Last edited:
Sorry to hear about your loss rangrz, I hope you realize sooner than later that life must move on. It's easier said than done, but just keep the person who is gone now in your memory and think of the good times you had - I have my best friend who died picture in front of me on my computer desk and I think about him every day still he was awesome (not to mention I got a tattoo 'In Loving Memory' for him). Glad overall you're doing good though, I'll catch up with you more on AIM when you're on man.

October - I think you will be fine, just stay away from them as much as possible and if you can help it stay away all together from any opiates or related drugs that may lead you to do some. Good luck.

-dp

Depression & Anxiety MEGA Thread - Depression/Anxiety Talk + Over 100 Links of Info
 
I'm still around. I notice with the methamphetamine use going quickly downwards till cessetation over the last 5 months or so I have almost zero motivation to post, although I don't crave unless I have to get adderal (doesn't hold me over) because I pull some dumbass move and eat my dexedrine too early. I sometimes marvel at this ridiculous self-destructive behavior, It's like, I KNOW from experience this is awful for my body and mind, yet I compulsively do it, like a lab rat. I sometimes feel down on myself because I don't think i'm contributing to my sobriety from methamphetamine and Hypnotics, I think it's just the Dexedrine and the RX Nitrazepam/Temazepam and the Clonazepam. I think I should give myself more credit, I haven't had a happy life but methamphetamine made me really confident. I suppose if I look at it from a different perspective I have overcome a 4+ year long methamphetamine addiction despite poverty and hardship. I think i'm a strong person who will survive. I'm a bit down, but I know i'll continue to have at least some optimism, I really want to be happy one day truly and not by Injecting, Smoking, or Eating a drug.
 
I haven't taken suboxone or opiates since Thursday morning. It's now Sunday morning and I don't feel any WDs. Yay. I sure would love it if I have an easy time, my nurse at the clinic insists that I would feel WDs in 24 hours but I never did take that stuff correctly. I am Rx'd 8mgs a day and usually take 4mgs every other day. I'm sick of it so I'm trying to get off it, my plan is to take 2mgs if I feel WDs and maybe I won't even have to.

I also have a small supply of Lyrica and Clonidine, actually I should try those first if I feel sick, which I don't.

I wish everyone well in the battle against addiction, it's a bitch but we can do it.
 
Life is good. :)

Had a mini meetup with our very own ENKI and one of his non-BLer friends of 20+ years. A good time was had by all. No spirits were imbibed, just beer and wine and good food.

We went into the city to have a walk and some Indian food, and then to another part of the city where we ended up at a bar I seem to always gather with BLers at. I had some sangria and later a beer. We ran into a packet of people who were in PJs and being drunk and obnoxious on a pub crawl, so we skipped out early and went for dinner at a Thai restaurant near my house. :) :) :)

He's on his way to a gathering in his friend's hometown now. Enki is 50 times more awesome in person than on the board, and that is saying a lot! We miss you already. <3 Hope you have fun with the yogis and yoginis tonight. :)

I'm surprised at the effect that a 50 mg tramadol regimen has had on my mood and affect. I'm about 3 weeks into it now. I've only had one really down day, alcohol cravings have lessened, and I feel pretty balanced. Perhaps depression really does have something to do with the brain's reward system. In any event, life is more rewarding overall lately. I hope it lasts. :)
 
^^Sounds like you are doing well Mariposa, I wish things would have stayed the same for myself. Glad you had a fun time with your meet up and all, I've had a few and they have all been good as well.

Lately I have been feeling even more confused/insecure about my life than ever. I have no idea what direction I am going, or where I'll end up, so my emotions are in shambles right now. I just hope that I can pull myself together for the next semester of school. Anyway, my 2c-i/2c-c is already all gone, and I actually accidentally dropped my last dose of 2c-c on the floor today :( which sucked. That job I got, well let's just say I couldn't handle the times they needed me, so I ended up quitting... I didn't want to at all, since I need the money very badly, but the job just wasn't for me. So right now I have nothing really going for me and I am, like usual, depressed and alone (or so I feel). I hope things turn around for me sometime soon...

-dp
 
Here, but life isn't isn't getting any better.
Can someone tell me when I fell into this black pit?
 
Mariposa said:
Life is good. :)

Had a mini meetup with our very own ENKI and one of his non-BLer friends of 20+ years. A good time was had by all. No spirits were imbibed, just beer and wine and good food.

We went into the city to have a walk and some Indian food, and then to another part of the city where we ended up at a bar I seem to always gather with BLers at. I had some sangria and later a beer. We ran into a packet of people who were in PJs and being drunk and obnoxious on a pub crawl, so we skipped out early and went for dinner at a Thai restaurant near my house. :) :) :)

He's on his way to a gathering in his friend's hometown now. Enki is 50 times more awesome in person than on the board, and that is saying a lot! We miss you already. <3 Hope you have fun with the yogis and yoginis tonight. :)

I'm surprised at the effect that a 50 mg tramadol regimen has had on my mood and affect. I'm about 3 weeks into it now. I've only had one really down day, alcohol cravings have lessened, and I feel pretty balanced. Perhaps depression really does have something to do with the brain's reward system. In any event, life is more rewarding overall lately. I hope it lasts. :)
Click to expand...

Well.......I have already expressed my jealousy. :)
And I do not believe Enki could be more awesome........
He is OVER THE TOP awesome as it is......
Glad you had fun ........

Sounds like things are going good all around!
woohoo!
 
Mariposa said:
Enki is 50 times more awesome in person than on the board, and that is saying a lot!
Click to expand...

I find this absolutely 100% believable in every single way!!!! :D <3
*Enki-meet-up-jealousy* =D

Mariposa said:
I'm surprised at the effect that a 50 mg tramadol regimen has had on my mood and affect. I'm about 3 weeks into it now. I've only had one really down day, alcohol cravings have lessened, and I feel pretty balanced.
Click to expand...

That sounds great hun, I'm so glad you're feeling good about life.
You deserve all the happiness that comes your way <3

....and you're right....life IS good :)
 
Still going here with my suboxone detox.

The reason I'm updating here instead of the suboxone thread is that there are too many horror stories of long-lasting, severe WDs over there, and I am trying to minimize my WDs instead of dwell upon them.

I am over the worst of it , no matter what others have experienced. That hump exists in all our battles and the way to get over the hump is to just not give up.

I feel better than yesterday and I hope I'm not the only one (Pillthrill)
 
Just checking in... I am doing alright, good and bad, tapering off adderall and keeping myself more healthy nowadays. I don't have Internet anymore because my computer is broken, and my university closed down their computer labs between terms, so I may not be back for a while. But I am alive and doing okay! Peace and much love bluelighters ~
 
Hi, healthy wingnut! We will be here with open arms when you get back. It is not the same without you. Peace be with you. <3
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top