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THE DARK PLACE..please give me a review

timmaytoo

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 15, 2004
Messages
12
here i sit day after day
with one after another rotting away
it's hell on earth
where lost souls scream
where the birds don't fly
and the demons gleam
the wind blows cold
and there;'s nothing to see
just cold dark black
where nothing can be
i sit on my hill hiding my eyes,
from the tormented and the tormentees
i rip out my eyes to hide away
from the ones who slowly come my way
everysingle time i scream
the pailer and pailer i must seem
for this is where i've come to rot
for all eternity.
they'll come for me day after day
and i'll be here in the same damned way
waiting to be taken against my will
from this lonely place
a top of my hill
 
Very descriptive, well done. For me I would have liked it to have touched on the source of this feeling, but then again this is yours to choose. Keep writing!
 
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