• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!

The Cuddle Puddle vers. Dead snakes and long breaks

Status
Not open for further replies.
Yup haha.

Well I'm glad it didn't get nearly as bad as it could have, and I definitely learned that LSD is not a party drug for me... I was fine at Paradiso but that's because I was never alone and always was surrounded by amazing people who would have done anything they could have if it were to have turned into a bad trip.

Last night I was with a guy I've known for over ten years but we've never really been good friends, more acquaintances... So besides the small group of 6 I befriended around the camp fire I was pretty much on my own, although it wasn't until I was completely on my own till I started feeling better.

Weird...

Drugs are weird.

EDIT: @5000m, it was actually my second time but still... Not very much experience on my part haha
 
Last edited:
Bro I don't think you should give up just because of that, you do need to realize that those kind of thoughts are basically the MAIN effects of most psychedelics though.. I wouldn't take acid in a place like that, not alone at least. Maybe with some MDMA but even like 10 of my best friends all tripping together is too many people for acid lol.


Psychedelics are usually best in a dark room with loud music and only your closest friends, or even just by yourself
 
I do have one friend that really wants to try acid but is waiting till she is done with her SSRI... Maybe then I'll give it another go with her when she is ready to try it, she is the one person I'd ever try another psychedelic with again I think. Mainly because she is my only close friend who is into drugs but because we also went through a drug phase last year together so we are very comfortable with one another.
 
You were trying to control the acid, I think that's where you wen't wrong. You can't control your mind sober let alone on psychedelics. Don't feel like dancing? Don't dance. Are you overthinking things? Let yourself think! A trip is usually easily turned around by turning a negative into a positive and just letting it flow. It's those moments that you think "I should be doing this instead" or "I shouldn't be thinking so much right now, I should be feeling this" etc etc that's when it turns bad for me most of the time.
 
I want to apologize for being moderately absent lately. I have missed the ED crew greatly. It has been a rough couple of days.

On Saturday I dosed way too hard on heavy narcotics. I had a few seizures... And I collapsed a few times.

Then Sunday I went into work at 11AM in incredible pain physically and emotionally. I was then told that I was let go because they over hired. I was so sad because that job was the only good thing in my life.

Back to Saturday, all the seizures happened in front of my parents. They begged me to goto the hospital. I refused. I ended up crying and just throwing all these problems in my life on my mother.

I just feel so alone... Sometimes it would be nice to have someone there to tell me they love me and things will be okay.

Anyway... It has been a rough few days. This post is probably more suited for a blog, but I feel that the ED crew deserved to know why I have been absent. I am sorry, and I'm going to be better. I love you guys. :)
 
Folley, I feel a lot better. I was just stupid. I mixed a large amount of GABA drugs with a fuck ton of partial opiate agonist and it just KO'd me. Bad.

It's just this feeling of being alone. I'm 23 years old and the only relationship I had fell apart horrible about two years ago and it really fucked me up emotionally.

I'm just tired of the promiscuity. I want something real.

I might as well get this out of the way, and I hope you guys don't judge me. I enjoy the company of both men and women...
I just want something real and I think that in this point of my life, I just need somebody. Things will be okay though, because I'm looking up.

:)
 
Ha that is a very cool thread.

:)

Yeah, most of the gay people I know are really into MDMA. But I don't really hang with them that often. Maybe I should?

Anyway, the next time I roll I'm gonna find somebody to roll with me that is down for a hardcore cuddle/sex session.

:)
 
dezz said:
You were trying to control the acid, I think that's where you wen't wrong. You can't control your mind sober let alone on psychedelics. Don't feel like dancing? Don't dance. Are you overthinking things? Let yourself think! A trip is usually easily turned around by turning a negative into a positive and just letting it flow. It's those moments that you think "I should be doing this instead" or "I shouldn't be thinking so much right now, I should be feeling this" etc etc that's when it turns bad for me most of the time.
Click to expand...

Maybe that's it, as I said I'm not very experienced with acid but this past time was completely different from my first time. I think it was mainly because I was with none of my friends, pretty much all by myself in a festival of 300-400 random people. At Paradiso (my first time on acid) I dosed with one of my buddies I drove down there with and was just hanging out with all my friends I went to the festival with, and I was ALWAYS with someone so I felt at ease. Actually the one time I was alone at Paradiso I started panicking cause I thought I missed my friend leave the bathroom and I stood there for what felt like 30 minutes waiting for him but in reality it was only 5 minutes...

Other than that one little panic attack my first time on acid was much better than my second.

Diloadid said:
I want to apologize for being moderately absent lately. I have missed the ED crew greatly. It has been a rough couple of days.

On Saturday I dosed way too hard on heavy narcotics. I had a few seizures... And I collapsed a few times.

Then Sunday I went into work at 11AM in incredible pain physically and emotionally. I was then told that I was let go because they over hired. I was so sad because that job was the only good thing in my life.

Back to Saturday, all the seizures happened in front of my parents. They begged me to goto the hospital. I refused. I ended up crying and just throwing all these problems in my life on my mother.

I just feel so alone... Sometimes it would be nice to have someone there to tell me they love me and things will be okay.

Anyway... It has been a rough few days. This post is probably more suited for a blog, but I feel that the ED crew deserved to know why I have been absent. I am sorry, and I'm going to be better. I love you guys. :)
Click to expand...

Man that's quite the story, I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better now. And I hear you on the whole relationship thing, I'm turning 19 pretty soon and have never been in a relationship, it hasn't been until recently that I've wanted to find someone to enjoy life with but still, it would be nice..

How have your parents reacted to the whole ordeal now that it's been a few days?
 
Well my parents freaked out. I really shouldn't have taken all those drugs at their house. I'm almost 24 years old... I should be more responsible. It's just... So boring at their place.

They have calmed down a bit. My mom wants me to se a neurologist, but I dunno. I feel like the seizures were a one off thing.

Relationships are great, I just don't know where to start. I hung out with my ex yesterday. She bought me some instant curry and sticky rice, because she is Japanese, and it really cheered me up. She knew I had a terrible weekend.
 
That was super nice of her. :)

One of my good friends started hitting on me one night when we were alone (the other two people went to bed) at a cabin in Whistler, BC (Big ski resort in Canada) but I was not in a good mental place... I was just sitting there overflowing with anxiety and panic attacks trying to keep it in cause I didn't really want to ruin anyone's night... but by doing that I also kinda ruined the night for us haha.

I've been meaning to tell her but every time I try to tell her what happened to me that night (and the following weeks) something or someone gets in the way. And now she moved away for university, not far only about a 45 minute drive but still.

Exactly what drugs did you do? I'm not familiar with GABA's or partial opiate agonist's...
 
Man you gotta tell her! Get that ass before she joins a sorority. I def understand being over ridden with anxiety. Sometimes I just don't know how to express the fact that I like someone more than a friend. Sometimes it's easy though. I suppose its situational.

I have been pondering trying to get back with my ex (the Japanese girl). We had a rough breakup. Although one year on her birthday I took some MDMA and we went swimming. She didn't know I was rolling... She did wonder why my pupils were huge. She is moderately anti-drug. Regardless I was rolling and she sat on my lap as we floated around the pull. It was fun.

I took over a gram of pregabalin (lyrica), a lot of Ghb, and I IVd about 16mg of bupe. In all reality I didn't take much bupe, but less is more with that shit. I also took about 100mg of dph and 50mg of promethazine to potentiate the bupe.

What a night...
 
Diloadid said:
Man you gotta tell her! Get that ass before she joins a sorority. I def understand being over ridden with anxiety. Sometimes I just don't know how to express the fact that I like someone more than a friend. Sometimes it's easy though. I suppose its situational.

I have been pondering trying to get back with my ex (the Japanese girl). We had a rough breakup. Although one year on her birthday I took some MDMA and we went swimming. She didn't know I was rolling... She did wonder why my pupils were huge. She is moderately anti-drug. Regardless I was rolling and she sat on my lap as we floated around the pull. It was fun.

I took over a gram of pregabalin (lyrica), a lot of Ghb, and I IVd about 16mg of bupe. In all reality I didn't take much bupe, but less is more with that shit. I also took about 100mg of dph and 50mg of promethazine to potentiate the bupe.

What a night...
Click to expand...

Next time I get a chance I'm planning on telling her. I know for a fact we are going to a rave together on the 21st but hopefully I'll see her before then... She is beyond busy with school though, between her full course load and the fact she is on the University softball team leaves her with no free time. Poor girl haha.

And I don't even know what half those drugs are :S
 
I didn't tell someone I fell for and I still regret it today, that was fuckin 3 years ago and when I see her I still have the feels :( Take the damn advice and tell her now. Fucking do it, people who are busy make time for you when they like you so don't wait for a good moment. It might never come ;)
 
Diloadid said:
It's just this feeling of being alone. I'm 23 years old and the only relationship I had fell apart horrible about two years ago and it really fucked me up emotionally.

I'm just tired of the promiscuity. I want something real.

I might as well get this out of the way, and I hope you guys don't judge me. I enjoy the company of both men and women...
I just want something real and I think that in this point of my life, I just need somebody. Things will be okay though, because I'm looking up.
Click to expand...
this can be hard to hear - and but feeling like you 'need' somebody to fill a hole in your life, suggests some unresolved issues which you need to address.

it's perfectly understandable to want to be in a relationship for all the wonderful things that brings but, if you are fundamentally unhappy and think that just finding a partner is going to solve everything, you could be in for a rude awakening - you may just end up in a relationship, just as unhappy and, ultimately, more hurt and confused than you were before. you need to think about this seriously and, if necessary, consider getting some help.

there's a quote (which i am paraphrasing) which i think sums up what i'm saying succinctly: "some people spend their lives looking for the right person instead of becoming the right person."

you may find that if you invest some time in the latter, the 'right' person will fall right into your lap...

good luck.

oh, and who cares if you prefer the company of both men and women? i like chocolate but i don't like chocolate-flavoured things. go figure :)

alasdair
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top