Keif' Richards
Bluelight Crew
Hey all,
This might be my final update on the situation in Las Vegas. I don't really know how much worse it can get out here. I am unsure if the situation we are experiencing here is unique in any way. We all know that news is become worth less and less. That makes it difficult to know exactly how much others are struggling. I got the news on Friday that my non-profit was going to begin ceasing operations step-by-step. It is a pretty tragic moment for me. I came out here searching for a better life, lower cost of living and the opportunity to do the work that I love. Things in this country and abroad began entering serious collapse almost directly after I arrived. That was when the war started and everything has just gotten more difficult.
The homeless and addicted in this country already have next to nothing. The food that they are given is the poisonous variety that no person should be eating. It doesn't even cover their nutitional requirements, just fills their stomachs. The place where I was working had outbreaks of bed bugs twice in the time I was there. Operations would continue even when we knew we had bed bugs, as sounding the alarm would lead to closure of the facility. It is a tough decision. Most people choose to sleep outside anyway. It is the preferred option, as the shelters are unkempt and barely fit for human habitation.
There ae already requirements coming into place that are removing the limited, almost nil resources that people can acquire here. In a month or so, no individual without a job or verified work as a volunteer will be eligible for anything, medicaid, food or support. As we all know, virtually none of my clients intend on entering the workforce. They couldn't frankly, as the state of their appearance, health and behavior already means they can't even walk inside a supermarket without security immediately getting on them. Can you imagine? You are so shitty that businesses like supermarkets are almost completely off-limits to you? I never even thought it would be like this in the United States. These are citizens, a lot of them are veterans.
As for myself, I'm pretty close to the precipice that will leave me in a very similar position. I have always prided myself on being courageous in the face of extreme bullshit. I've survived a lot of hairy situations. I now unfortunately have to say that I am afraid for my own future. When I got here, my 24/hr job was sufficient. The cost of living has practically doubled. I have been skating by these past months while slowly being squeezed out due to finances. I was already in a tight spot. Then my insurance was cut off. Methadone is now 16/day. The cost of living issue is so fucked, because the limits for assistance have not adjusted. I still make too much money even in poverty to access things like medicaid. It would be at least a month or two even if I lost my job.
I'm now desperately trying to get back to New England. Hindsight is 20/20 of course. I thought I was moving toward greener pastures. I envisioned a place of my own, a bicycle that works and decent food. I'm now basically having to choose between food, shelter or medicine. That dream is out the window. I now have adjusted my goals to something much worse. I only want to get back to either Mass or Vermont. There, I can access medication for free even while waiting for Medicaid to kick in. Vermont does not ever refuse Methadone patients due to money. I would be getting home and staying in the same homeless shelter that I once managed.
My dream now is just to not have to constantly worry about going without medication. I've got Lupus, I'm on Methadone, I take other shit. I never thought I was going to have to go this route. With the cost of gas, now even a bus ticket back to New England is almost $400. That deostn't even include the Methadone I would need to purchase, food etc.
I never really knew what poverty was. I thought I did. Being a junkie is not the same as living in poverty. In theory, at any moment as a junkie, I could have made a decision to stop and immediately gotten back into the mainstream of life. Now I see things like bus tickets as insurmountable goals. In my previous life, I feel like I could have cobbled all of that together.
I have a feeling that we are all heading for some very hard times. I hope I find a way to make it back home, but I do not know at this point what will happen next. Like I said, it's scary. Things I always assumed were static, always achievable, like getting Methadone every day. Now I am wondering what I will lose next. If I do not get out of here before my job ends, I will end up on the street with everybody else. I do not really have the ability to survive out there in that environment if I am cut off from all of my medication. It's really a moment of wondering what I would do, and it's not a pretty picture.
That's me, but that is everybody else out here too. There is a class of person here in Clark County who still have cars, houses and savings and they appear to be going about their business as normal. They are able to ignore everything that is happening around them. Truthfully, I feel they are just on a different timeline. They too are going to be facing the same things that we are all facing, it's just going to take them a little bit longer.
The majority of people out here see the shelters, harm reduction and especially the clientele as unwanted elements in their society. Not only am I facing not having a job, I actively am fighting against a culture that sees my work as contributory to their problems. I've seen Nazi rallies, I've heard of police abducting and murdering homeless people... I've seen a lot here in Las Vegas. It is a portrait of what is wrong with our society. If we could find a way to work together and share, there would be a way for all of us to have happiness. Instead, we live in a world where people would rather ignore these problems.
The mid-terms are coming up and I foresee there could be violence. The atmosphere is tense here in Vegas. There is a small but vocal group of liberal individuals fighting for what's right, though we are largely outclassed by the conservative elements. I came out here hoping to do some good work. The people out here arguably needed that help, love and support more than other parts of the county. Ultimately, I have to find a way to be happy with my decision to come out here, even if it means this is the last chapter of my life. I still feel good about making the attempt. I hope to make it back to my home soil so I can see Boston one more time before everything goes to shit.
I hope everyone is doing well. I know it's so hard right now for all of us. Try to make someone's day a little bit better, say something nice to someone who is struggling and be a good person. That is how we are supposed to change our world. I love all you guys and I hope everyone is safe.
This might be my final update on the situation in Las Vegas. I don't really know how much worse it can get out here. I am unsure if the situation we are experiencing here is unique in any way. We all know that news is become worth less and less. That makes it difficult to know exactly how much others are struggling. I got the news on Friday that my non-profit was going to begin ceasing operations step-by-step. It is a pretty tragic moment for me. I came out here searching for a better life, lower cost of living and the opportunity to do the work that I love. Things in this country and abroad began entering serious collapse almost directly after I arrived. That was when the war started and everything has just gotten more difficult.
The homeless and addicted in this country already have next to nothing. The food that they are given is the poisonous variety that no person should be eating. It doesn't even cover their nutitional requirements, just fills their stomachs. The place where I was working had outbreaks of bed bugs twice in the time I was there. Operations would continue even when we knew we had bed bugs, as sounding the alarm would lead to closure of the facility. It is a tough decision. Most people choose to sleep outside anyway. It is the preferred option, as the shelters are unkempt and barely fit for human habitation.
There ae already requirements coming into place that are removing the limited, almost nil resources that people can acquire here. In a month or so, no individual without a job or verified work as a volunteer will be eligible for anything, medicaid, food or support. As we all know, virtually none of my clients intend on entering the workforce. They couldn't frankly, as the state of their appearance, health and behavior already means they can't even walk inside a supermarket without security immediately getting on them. Can you imagine? You are so shitty that businesses like supermarkets are almost completely off-limits to you? I never even thought it would be like this in the United States. These are citizens, a lot of them are veterans.
As for myself, I'm pretty close to the precipice that will leave me in a very similar position. I have always prided myself on being courageous in the face of extreme bullshit. I've survived a lot of hairy situations. I now unfortunately have to say that I am afraid for my own future. When I got here, my 24/hr job was sufficient. The cost of living has practically doubled. I have been skating by these past months while slowly being squeezed out due to finances. I was already in a tight spot. Then my insurance was cut off. Methadone is now 16/day. The cost of living issue is so fucked, because the limits for assistance have not adjusted. I still make too much money even in poverty to access things like medicaid. It would be at least a month or two even if I lost my job.
I'm now desperately trying to get back to New England. Hindsight is 20/20 of course. I thought I was moving toward greener pastures. I envisioned a place of my own, a bicycle that works and decent food. I'm now basically having to choose between food, shelter or medicine. That dream is out the window. I now have adjusted my goals to something much worse. I only want to get back to either Mass or Vermont. There, I can access medication for free even while waiting for Medicaid to kick in. Vermont does not ever refuse Methadone patients due to money. I would be getting home and staying in the same homeless shelter that I once managed.
My dream now is just to not have to constantly worry about going without medication. I've got Lupus, I'm on Methadone, I take other shit. I never thought I was going to have to go this route. With the cost of gas, now even a bus ticket back to New England is almost $400. That deostn't even include the Methadone I would need to purchase, food etc.
I never really knew what poverty was. I thought I did. Being a junkie is not the same as living in poverty. In theory, at any moment as a junkie, I could have made a decision to stop and immediately gotten back into the mainstream of life. Now I see things like bus tickets as insurmountable goals. In my previous life, I feel like I could have cobbled all of that together.
I have a feeling that we are all heading for some very hard times. I hope I find a way to make it back home, but I do not know at this point what will happen next. Like I said, it's scary. Things I always assumed were static, always achievable, like getting Methadone every day. Now I am wondering what I will lose next. If I do not get out of here before my job ends, I will end up on the street with everybody else. I do not really have the ability to survive out there in that environment if I am cut off from all of my medication. It's really a moment of wondering what I would do, and it's not a pretty picture.
That's me, but that is everybody else out here too. There is a class of person here in Clark County who still have cars, houses and savings and they appear to be going about their business as normal. They are able to ignore everything that is happening around them. Truthfully, I feel they are just on a different timeline. They too are going to be facing the same things that we are all facing, it's just going to take them a little bit longer.
The majority of people out here see the shelters, harm reduction and especially the clientele as unwanted elements in their society. Not only am I facing not having a job, I actively am fighting against a culture that sees my work as contributory to their problems. I've seen Nazi rallies, I've heard of police abducting and murdering homeless people... I've seen a lot here in Las Vegas. It is a portrait of what is wrong with our society. If we could find a way to work together and share, there would be a way for all of us to have happiness. Instead, we live in a world where people would rather ignore these problems.
The mid-terms are coming up and I foresee there could be violence. The atmosphere is tense here in Vegas. There is a small but vocal group of liberal individuals fighting for what's right, though we are largely outclassed by the conservative elements. I came out here hoping to do some good work. The people out here arguably needed that help, love and support more than other parts of the county. Ultimately, I have to find a way to be happy with my decision to come out here, even if it means this is the last chapter of my life. I still feel good about making the attempt. I hope to make it back to my home soil so I can see Boston one more time before everything goes to shit.
I hope everyone is doing well. I know it's so hard right now for all of us. Try to make someone's day a little bit better, say something nice to someone who is struggling and be a good person. That is how we are supposed to change our world. I love all you guys and I hope everyone is safe.
