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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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UNH - you're becoming a very hot looking pregnant woman. Be aware - my sister looked really hot when she was pregnant too, you you will be amazed to how many men will stare at you. Im sure they probably do anyways, but you will see....
 
Well I hope I end up being a hot pregnant woman! It's funny you mention men because I was wondering whether or not they would stop looking. So far I'm not pregnant enough to really trigger any obvious, "Oh, she's pregnant" looks from people.

My husband suggested I start working out at the gym he goes to (it's at the Citadel which is virtually an all guy's military school) and I was pretty much thinking, "There's no way in hell!" I'm already weird enough about going to gyms because I hate being looked at while I'm working out. Maybe it's something I'm not 100% secure with and it's not because I'm embarrassed of my body or anything like that but more because I feel sort of athletically inferior to almost everyone else in the room. I mean it's obvious that I only spend 15 minutes on the treadmill when other people spend 45 minutes on it and whatnot. This sort of spurs an overall feeling of insecurity and I feel like everyone is watching me.

Long story short: I feel like if I start working out at that gym while I'm big and pregnant, the guys will stare even more than usual and that is just so awkward!

Honestly, I'm surprised by the fact that so many men seem to find really pregnant women attractive! It's even a popular genre of porn from what I understand :P I mean I think pregnant women are beautiful but when I think of a woman who's pregnant, I don't think, "Damn, she's so sexy and I would love to screw her!"
 
haha yeah my sister had exactly the same mentality! It kinda freaked her out the amount of blokes of all ages that checked her out even when she was as far as 8- 9 months... so yeah she was at her biggest then, and totally not in the mood to be gawked at! ;) =D

Get ready for it hun, that's all i can say. I would imagine you'd get checked out a lot already, and it's not just the older guys that do it - a LOT of younger mid 20 spunky guys were staring at my sister with complete admiration.
 
Conscious21 said:
Just wondering, for those who can remember, when did you begin to feel the baby move with your first pregnancy? And dads, when were you able to feel movement through your partner's tummy?

I'm over the half way mark and feeling a bit retarded because I can't feel anything yet - bub's placenta is on the front of my tummy which will mean I feel movement later, but still, I thought I'd feel something by now!
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I start feeling quickening around week 18 or so. It's a subtle feeling, rather like butterflies in the stomach, and you may not recognize it at first. Big, full-on fetal movement happens for me around week 21-23. Daddy and others won't be able to feel baby from the outside for another few weeks.
 
Thanks voxy :) So not too much longer then!

On the subject of guys checking you out, a friend of mine told me about running into her ex recently and watching this look of panic cross his face when he realised she was pregnant, till he worked out that 6 years' gestation was probably stretching it a bit :)
 
My youngest is four and I had forgotten how cool that age is. He has a way of seeing the world and expressing himself that always puts a smile on my face. Here are some gems from the past few days....

I was reading him a story and I kissed him on the ear, to which he push away and said, " ouch you'll hurt my ear sight".

He also said that his favourite music is "not quiet guitars but retric guitars"

Whe he was asked what he wanted to be when he was older he told us he wanted to drive a recycling garbage truck around the streets where he lives. <3
 
I had a second ultrasound this morning, and it's a boy. That's really exciting news and all, except the radiologist also found what may be a cystic mass, or could just be poo. Or, quite possibly, just a misdiagnosis -- Ketchikan isn't exactly known for its quality medical practitioners. Either way, we need a better picture to be sure. Now I have to fly (cringe!) down to Seattle for a level 3 ultrasound next week. I'm scared. Fuck.
 
Busty St Clare said:
My youngest is four and I had forgotten how cool that age is. He has a way of seeing the world and expressing himself that always puts a smile on my face. Here are some gems from the past few days....

I was reading him a story and I kissed him on the ear, to which he push away and said, " ouch you'll hurt my ear sight".

He also said that his favourite music is "not quiet guitars but retric guitars"

Whe he was asked what he wanted to be when he was older he told us he wanted to drive a recycling garbage truck around the streets where he lives. <3
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so cute!!! i can't wait for this age!

I was talking to a friend a while back, shortly after I had given birth to my son, and we were talking about how she had just found out she was pregnant again (7th child btw!!!) Her 3 yr old came up to me and asked "Aunty, are you having another baby too??" I just smiled and said "No honey I'm not" Confused, she asked me, "Well what do u have in there then??" lmao good thing she's so cute!!!
 
Thanks Conscious and Ocean for the well wishes. The waiting is excruciating! I have an appointment Wednesday morning at YooDub, and I should know something soon after. Keeping fingers crossed......
 
Pregnacy and dreams/stress

My dreams have always been very vivid n detailed but they were just weird and straight forward.

im 4months pregnant atm, and dreaming now is getting way too emotional for me.ive told my partner about them and his not fussed at all thankfully.

one of the problems is it not a recurring dream but the person/and people (2 old friends and my partner)are recurring every night in different
dreams.

the dreams that are hurting the most is the old friend that i forget about 3 years ago, of course till now.
ill try and make it simple from what i can remember in order of him ("H").
- we had sex in a pool at nighttime.
- him lying naked (blanket covering xxx bit), everything is white. and in a building light coming though.i walk out of room.
- we are both walking, him trying to talk to me, i cant say a single word, and i don't want to look at him.
- i was in with a group of people, then he came with another group, i tried to hide away.
- there is this event (to hook up) were every1 is given a number. i was like hell no i don't want 1, but this random said i have to. so i got a number
and another 1 of my old friends quickly picked me and we started dancing (it was super terrible) so i let go and walked away from him into the next room
where the exit was, and "H" was sitting high on these huuuge speakers talking to some dude. looked at him quickly ran off.
:last night: - i was naked in a shower, "H" was in another shower next to me, we were both talking, we get out ( had towels on) and this dark headed woman walk pass. "H" and her were very cozzy with each other. i cbf and walked away, then randomly i was at a different location (with clothes and walking casually) and i saw him and her kiss and say good bye [from afar]. He went around the corner, and this random guys appears from behind me ( which she runs too excitedly) and they heavily make out right in front of me >><. its soo obvious she cheating on "H" and this random knows about it [ looks like he doesn't care the slightest]. *thought how "H" deserved what he got*. and i woke up.

ok. why is this important i think to post?
its stressing me out, not in the day but... while i am dreaming and the rest of the night. having to get up go go to the toilet like 4-7 times a night
is not helping aswell. then the toddler wants to winge about 4/5/6am in the morning, and i attend to everything she fusses about in the morning so she is happy and settles down(she very into routines and fussy).

maybe it just the hormones, but i dont even talk to this guy anymore. im very happy being a mother. i just caught the flu of my partner ;/.
this second pregnancy is making me nausea constantly and i feel very weak in the afternoons.
to me these dream is just unnecessary stress i dont need atm.

is there any1 else who is/was pregnant or supportive partners who know how to deal with these weird dreams or stress in general?
 
just ignore it. when youre pregnant you have all kinds of crazy ass fucked up dreams, constantly. its just a part of pregnancy and dont say nothing at all about you. If you been pregnant before maybe you didnt have this problem last time, but its very common and happens to alot of women.

there aint nothing you really CAN do. it aint nightmares or night terrors its just weird unnerving dreams . i had my share of them and i know how you wake up feelin so weird and off and just fucked up from it, but you shouldnt worry about it, it aint really nothing you can control so try to roll with it.

ps--we got a mega pregnancy thread for discussing everything about that subject, so next time u got a q like this, post in there:)
 
Hi ubersweet, welcome to the pregnancy thread :) I don't have any magical advice for you I'm sorry, but just wanted to say that I can relate - I am not normally a big dreamer but have had some crazy ass ones since being pregnant! Sometimes they are bad dreams, often something bad happening to my husband or our baby, and I find that the next day I can still be a bit shaky even though I tell myself it's just a dream and doesn't mean anything.

I think they're just a part of pregnancy, but some of the usual 'good sleep' remedies might help you - in particular, make sure you're not too hot at night as this can increase the chances of nightmares. It's great that your partner isn't threatened by them too, does it help to talk about them with him?

Kudos to you for still being able to put your little girl first when you're stressed and sleep deprived, and still being able to think clearly and realise that the weird dreams don't mean you're any less committed to your current relationship - they're just another weird and wonderful part of pregnancy <3
 
thanks for the move Khadijah. =) welcomes

i think after that huge post last night got something off my chest (helped).

ooh Conscious21 those dreams with young ones are the worst kind. -
-this might sound odd but i try to "look" for a relo or my partner and i tell them to look after her/ take her and leave.
---- its weird but i find it works, it very hard to protect some1 and deal with a terrible situation. plus i know they'll try their best.

As for my partner i don't tell him all the time, just now and again. It not like his super interested or gives output, but he does listen.

congrats Conscious21 on the lil one too. *snuggle *snuggle (in a polite manner of course). keep up the good mamma work =)
 
voxmystic said:
I had a second ultrasound this morning, and it's a boy. That's really exciting news and all, except the radiologist also found what may be a cystic mass, or could just be poo. Or, quite possibly, just a misdiagnosis -- Ketchikan isn't exactly known for its quality medical practitioners. Either way, we need a better picture to be sure. Now I have to fly (cringe!) down to Seattle for a level 3 ultrasound next week. I'm scared. Fuck.
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Much love and strength to you for the flight and for the scan <3



I have a bit of a quandary.....
My boyfriend is getting more and more clucky which is what I've been waiting (dying!!) for, for most of our relationship. So I should be really excited and happy, right??

However, he wants us to move interstate, away from my family and friends, AND for us to have our children interstate. He is a really anti-social person and prefers to not socialise at all, whereas I NEED my family and friends around me, even if I don't see them often, just to know that they are there if I need them. He has a lot of trouble understanding this, and is telling me that when we move I can "just make new friends".

I actually don't want to have babies when I'm away from my family, period. I am a prime candidate for having post-natal depression and I don't want to risk having emotional problems with no support network. Again, this is just something he fobs off, or just doesn't understand the gravity of.

He is saying that we basically have to move interstate because there is not going to be any work for him in Sydney for basically the next 10 years. So I feel like he is backing me in to a corner with no other options than to move interstate and start having babies with no support network. Last night I actually told him that I don't want him to force me in to anything I don't want to do...but I actually don't see any other options for us either.

Has anyone else been in this situation?? Did it work out okay? How easy was it for you to find other new mums who you could hang out with and get help from when you needed it?
 
N3o, while i've not had the experience of having kids yet, i'm facing a similar situation as you. Pop and I only have one family member in Victoria - his sister. She is wonderful, i feel so close to her, but all of my family are in Queensland and all of his family are in Canberra. Ideally, i would love to be back in Qld to have kids- my sister is there, dad, close friends, Pop's brother, wife and kids. Like you, i am concerned about PND, so am feeling concerned. This is something that we've discussed at length. Pop can't stand the humidity of QLD and has always had a blanket rule that he will not go to Qld between October and March.

Conversely, Pop's siblings all have kids, some are babies, and almost all of them live in Canberra. While my first choice is to have bubs in Qld, moving to Canberra may be another option, just to have family around.

In saying all of that, i've spoken to a number of women who have moved interstate with little to no support, and all have settled in to mum's groups in their area, and have found really great support networks through midwives, etc and that it worked out really well. It's definitely something that i've been thinking about more.

What is his response to all of your concerns about PND? I think you need to keep raising this with him, to truly impress upon him the gravity of the situation <3
 
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voxmystic said:
I had a second ultrasound this morning, and it's a boy. That's really exciting news and all, except the radiologist also found what may be a cystic mass, or could just be poo. Or, quite possibly, just a misdiagnosis -- Ketchikan isn't exactly known for its quality medical practitioners. Either way, we need a better picture to be sure. Now I have to fly (cringe!) down to Seattle for a level 3 ultrasound next week. I'm scared. Fuck.
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Oh hun my thoughts are with you <3
 
Good luck to all those experiencing difficulties. <3

vox - Is there any way to get a scan outside of your state? I know how remote your location is so it must be frusturating that when you got a scan and it wasn't clear. You're a mother already so go with your heart. :)

n3o - You guys are a beautiful couple. I don't know you personally but I feel as if I'd want to if I lived in Australia. <3 I know this must be a very difficult matter but I get an intution that you two will figure it out. Good things happen to good people. :)
 
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