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the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

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L2R

L2R

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share your stories of triumph, joy, shame, hints, tips, cheatcodes through to total game walkthroughs here. anything to do with diets, psychology, preparation, discipline through to stories of first steps, words, education, boyfriends and girlfriend and friends in general are welcome here.

i know of a few couples on bluelight, including my own, who are likely to join the club of life creation so many of you have already become a part of. your experience and wisdom would certainly be appreciated and through the sharing of your experiences, you may also pick up some new tips yourself.

to start this long overdue thread, i'll post a question particularly relevant to bluelight:

a good portion of the planet's population was conceived either nearby or during the consumption of alcohol. how important do you think it is for preconception to abstain from chemical influence, whether they are legal or not, and for both the prospective mother and father?
 
Brilliant idea, IP - as someone who hopes to be growing a little human being in mah belly within the next 18 months, i'm keen as mustard to read what is posted here.

To answer your question - I have abstained from anything chemical for quite a while, now, and will continue to do so - it wasn't for any particular reason to begin with, however, as the time nears to us consciously trying for a baby - i want my body to be in the best condition it can be (diet, exercise, abstinence from any chems. I don't drink heavily so i will continue to have beverages on an ad hoc basis until the end of the year). In saying all of that, there are countless healthy, bouncing babies born to parents who have indulged, and that's great. :) I know that both Pop and I are making healthier choices as this is a considered decision we're making - we're both just as clucky as each other <3
 
Awesome i can't believe this thread hasn't already been done! Now is better than never and i am pleased this has been brought up in my (hopefully) baby making era!

I have discussed this with fellow friends who have conceived, and others that want to conceive within the next year or so and i have come across some very mixed opinions in all honesty! I am actually left in a bit of a questionable state with what should be done, or can be done...

For example: When my sister first fell pregnant she had been partying a fair bit around that time. She even popped a pill and got drunk when she was a bit over a month in but didn't know she was! It came about when later that night she felt really sick, and got a really bad nose bleed!

When it came about that she was pregnant, naturally we feared the worst. She decided to be honest with her doctor and admitted to the alcohol and drug use of that night. The doctor assured her that it wont affect the baby... as surprising as it was! But naturally she was strongly advised to no not engage in such a thing again whilst pregnant. It was already decided anyways that she wouldn't. She didn't drink a touch of alcohol... never smoked a single cigarette, in fact she went off at anyone who lit up around her whilst pregnant... and now she has an extremely healthy and intelligent little girl.

I think what counted the most was that she took care of herself throughout most of the pregnancy.. the beginning being the only slip up.

I do think though that when it comes time that i have decided that ye - now is the time to actually start trying, all substance use will stop. Well drug wise i mainly do mushrooms now days anyways and acid.... but im sure those things wont be good for a baby at all and more than happy to stop them if it means i will have a healthy child. I will be one of those full on pregnant women that wont even touch a drop of alcohol either... i can tell i will be HORRIFIED if i find out i am pregnant after a big night on the gear. I don't have big night's on the gear so much these days...well haven't for a while, so i don't think that will happen.

I have been following my cycle with a ovulation test :) I highly recommend them! I now understand when my most fertile stage is! I am so glad that i am actually fertile too... it would worry me that i wasn't for some stupid reason. But yes, i am yay!

But yeah the fact my husband smokes cigarettes worries me a lot... i have been doing some reading and have read that it will effect his sperm :( I don't want to demand him to quit... but i really wish he would for the sake of our future and our possible future children.

I am really curious to any smokers out there that have fallen pregnant... any men out there get a their wife/girlfriend/lover knocked up?? Are they just trying to scare people by saying the cigarettes can cause issues with the baby if it's the man that smokes? I know it goes without saying that if a woman smokes during pregnancy then that it will cause issues, but what about the mans sperm if they smoke? Can the baby still be healthy? This worries me.

Anyways i am really interested in peoples input here. :D
 
Samadhi said:
I know that both Pop and I are making healthier choices as this is a considered decision we're making - we're both just as clucky as each other <3
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That's so awesome! You guys are really working so well as a team and that's how it should be <3

Im gonna so get onto my husband once the weather warms up. I may not be able to make him quit smoking, but i bet if i make him do enough exercise he will WANT to stop ;)

Here's to wishful thinking! :\

We are both so clucky too... i can see us hopefully having a bubba within the next year.. at least falling pregnant within the next year.

He has promised me as soon as i fall pregnant he will stop smoking, but i am worried about the harm to his sperm before that.
 
^Studies are not yet completely conclusive, but smoking can cause genetic changes in sperm that can be passed on to the baby. I would say better safe than sorry...


I'm very excited to have kids one day, but unfortunately that's no longer really on the radar for me since I just got dumped... I have to try by the time I'm 30 because of a wholly ridiculous list of shit that might prevent me from conceiving, so for now I'm just working on finding someone I'd be happy to have a baby with. :) I've helped raise far too many children, so I feel very prepared for it once the time comes. Good luck to those of you that are planning on it soon! You'll be joyous! :)
 
Well i spoke to my mum today and it was confirmed to me that my sister and i are a product of a father that smoked heavily.... we turned out normal. My mum said what's more important is if the mother looks after herself during the pregnancy... i know it is better to both be in good health, and that is something we will definitely work on.. well, im already healthy - HE needs to get more healthy. But i feel better knowing that if it's up to me to be the healthier one at least as far as the baby being healthy, then i know i can definitely reply on myself for that.

It's hard when the man you love and want to have children with just can't seem to give up the ciggs. :(
 
I think the huge population of baby boomer's would be a good indication that smoking is not that big a factor when it comes to falling pregnant. That's not to say you wouldn't pass on any genetic damage but people have been falling pregnant for thousands of years without any medical knowledge. It got to the stage where I had to start wiping the toilet seat just in case.

My advice would be to forget about falling pregnant, tracking ovulation or following the moon and stars. It makes it more stressful and takes the fun out of a relationship. Fuck and fuck often without the stress of "trying". You may as well enjoy yourself and have fun rather than make it a job. God knows your live will be thrown into enough turmoil once you are parents.
 
^good stuff.
i was actually hoping that you'd chime in. thanks, dude.
 
I was fortunate that my wife fell pregnant almost as soon as we decided to ditch birth control. (Don't let anyone tell you that smoking stem will turn you sterile;)). Unfortunately many of my friends were not so lucky and one of the first things I thought of was how I was going to tell one of my best friends who had been desperate for a baby. The problem is plenty of healthy living people struggle just as plenty of stupid ugly people breed. If you let it consume your life your relationship will suffer. It is amazing how many of my friends eventually fell pregnant almost as soon as they decided to give up hope and were planning their life without a child.

Another trend I see in the mamma's n pappa's crew is the obsessive parenting of many who have a struggle to conceive. These kids never seem to have a moment without their parents breathing down their neck worrying about their safety. OK, I come from the "let the kid fall over" school of parenting so I am not the best example perhaps but I know my kids appreciate having room to live.
 
I fell pregnant at the drop of my knickers but when me and o/h decided to have kids we quit smoking I never thought I would fall pregnant as quick but I did. Unfortunately we started smoking again and since having kids have returned to drink at any opportunity we can.

best tip when having kids, have lots of fun they grow up so quickly. So spend a little extra and get waterproofs and wellies and go puddle jumping with them. Rain is to have fun in.

When they wake you up at 5.00 in the morning crying after a bad dream let them jump in beside you, they will soon stop telling you when things go wrong or will no longer come to you for help.

When they wake you up at 3.00 in the morning with roars of laughter cos they have just emptied your shampoo and conditioner all over the bathroom and using it as a sliding room, join in for a couple of slides before making them shower and then you crying before having to clean it all up.

Download pictures from ethiopia with starving children and vultures lurking at the road side, if they decide they don't like dinner show them it, guilt is every parents friend use it when possible.

when they can't get to sleep at night, let them lie on the couch while you tell them stories of when you were a kid, they will fall asleep quickly cover them and leave them where they are, they are happy.

mostly though tell them you love them everyday and give them kisses and cuddles, they will go through years of trying to hide from you.
 
tiggerific said:
when they can't get to sleep at night, let them lie on the couch while you tell them stories of when you were a kid, they will fall asleep quickly cover them and leave them where they are, they are happy.

mostly though tell them you love them everyday and give them kisses and cuddles, they will go through years of trying to hide from you.
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<3 <3 <3

I was fortunate that my wife fell pregnant almost as soon as we decided to ditch birth control. (Don't let anyone tell you that smoking stem will turn you sterile). Unfortunately many of my friends were not so lucky and one of the first things I thought of was how I was going to tell one of my best friends who had been desperate for a baby. The problem is plenty of healthy living people struggle just as plenty of stupid ugly people breed. If you let it consume your life your relationship will suffer.
Click to expand...

I am also one of those that I get pregnant just thinking about it. I am SOOO lucky that I did NOT get pregnant during all those drunk/fucked up days of my youth when i hardly ever used protection....it really is a miracle that i am std and fatherless child free. But only a few months after I met the man I knew I wanted to marry I became pregnant.

Another fortunate thing is that we got pregnant around the time when like 10-20 other people around us were pregnant. It was a lot of fun comparing stories, making new friends, and getting/giving advice.

A few problems with that though; the first of course being when your best friends who are due with a baby boy soon after you just had a baby boy, loses theirs unexpectedly....damn i felt bad bringing my son to their house, still do, but they are family...it is what it is.
Another problem we faced with having lots of friends with babies at a similar age is when my daughter started having develepmental lags...at 10 months she was barely able to sit up by herself and didnt start really crawling till about 16 months...not to mention other health problems. It became heartbreaking to go out to play dates and see how well the other babies were doing and mine....not so well... But its getting better now, the other moms are super supportive always uplifting and never make me feel bad about it

Mine are still very young, both under a year and a half so I know I have A LOT to learn! I am lucky enough to have a few friends with 4, 5,6 kids I go to them for advice. Overall i've enjoyed and embraced every challenge we've met so far. Children truely are a blessing!!!
 
yes!! just the thread i was looking for. just peed on the stick yesterday and saw the little blue line! we had been planning a baby, so i had quit drinking and most other drugs -- had a few tokes of the cannabis, though.

we have a 5 year old daughter, and with both her and this new one, i got pregnant the first month we ditched the birth control. i can pinpoint my exact dates of conception. and he smokes. wish i'd heard the rumor of infertility before -- maybe i could have pressured him to quit! i seriously hate ciggy smoke! unfortunately, i seem to be drawn to smokers. <sigh>

he also did not quit drinking, but ramped it down quite a bit to only 3-4 beers a night.

i just turned 40 earlier this month, so i'm kind of a geriatric mom, but i'd been putting off this sibling for years, and when that birthday came, so did the realiztion that the clock is ticking. apparently not too quickly though, considering the ease with which i became pregnant!

i had my last baby at home, with only my husband in attendance, and it was a beautiful experience! six years later, though, i'm considering a birthing center and a midwife. one that shuts up and sits in the corner unless she's needed! i'm also not real big on dozens of prenatal visits. i don't like docs very much, and i despise clinical settings. when i am birthing, i like to feel comfortable and absolutely in control. a midwife who would come to my home would be ideal, but there's not a single one on the island where i live. the closest one is only about 40 minutes away by float plane, but what if the baby comes at night, after the planes quit flying? hmmmm....decisions, decisions!
 
bump with a small note on something i've read:

cat owners, there is something in cat poop that is not harmful to people unless they are preggers. so once you see them blue lines, stay away from the litter tray.



also another question:
at the 12 week mark, there is an optional ultrasound and blood test to determine the likelyhood of down syndrome. scary part is what do you do if the results are 1% or more? Do you elect to go the invasive process to seek further clarification? do you do this even with its 0.5% chance of causing a miscarriage?

scary choices here
 
Impacto Profundo said:
cat owners, there is something in cat poop that is not harmful to people unless they are preggers. so once you see them blue lines, stay away from the litter tray.
Click to expand...

I believe what you are referring to is toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis is not harmful to adults but is harmful to a foetus if it's contracted by the pregnant mother. The main source of toxo is actually raw meat, but it can be transferred in cat poo from an infected cat.

If your cat is an indoor-only cat, and if you don't feed it raw meat, you are in the clear and can clean up your cat's poopie to your heart's content :)

But if your cat goes outdoors, and/or if you feed it raw meat, you should get your partner to clean out the cat's litter trays while you're preggers.
 
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