When is the point that you are addicted to MXE? I just had a 3 month clean stretch which wasnt hard, then I had a binge of 3 weeks when I used about a gram a week. Jou just want to use it, but when you stop after abuse, your body feels relief rather than withdrawal. So when is the point where "really liking to do it" becomes an addiction?
I can't IMAGINE doing 4 grams in a week. Thats insane, my body would shut down. And 300mg in a dose? In these 3 weeks of binge I had two DAYS where the total dose of the ENTIRE day equalled 300mg. Taking that in one, I would like die or something.
I use MXE since mid 2011 and the last year was spent using an average of 1 gram a month. How the fuck do people burn through MXE losing nearly all effects over a summer holiday? Are there different genetics at work? Are they simply attempting to live in the Hole 24/7, do they lack noticable toxic effects? If I abuse MXE my body and mind start increasingly resisting until I stop, triggering guilt, remorse, inner conflict, horrid psychosomatic symptoms until I take the hint.
I hope I never find out for myself how people take 300mg in one go and 4 grams in 7 days.
Either I control MXE and it will stay with me for years or it spreads like wildfire and it blows itself out. If I abuse it too hard permatolerance will make it impossible to chase it one day, or I get symptoms or a bad trip nightmare so wild that make me quit.
Does anyone get physical addiction off of this? Its all in the head right?
The way I abuse MXE and the way I see most people abuse MXE fits the historic diagnosis of
dipsomania:
In his 1893 book Clinical Lessons on Mental Diseases: The Mental State of Dipsomania, Magnan characterized dipsomania as a crisis lasting from one day to two weeks, and consisted of a rapid and huge ingestion of alcohol or whatever other strong, excitatory liquid was available. Magnan further described dipsomania as solitary alcohol abuse, with loss of all other interests, and these crises recurred at indeterminate intervals, separated by periods when the subject was generally sober.
Thats me and MXE to a T and I see that a lot in the topic, people abusing it a few days to a few weeks, intermitted by periods of abstinence.