PriestTheyCalledHim
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Vaya said:
yes that is very common. So are what are called "flashers".
The Big & Dandy HPPD Thread
- Thread starter bickoma
- Start date
yes that is very common. So are what are called "flashers".
DOHP
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I don't think I have HPPD.
I've done around 20+ Trips, and what my vision is like when im sober:
When I close my eyes I get a very faint wave of colours that expand out of my vision. And my mind seems to play tricks on me, for instance today at work I saw a car about 3 meters infront of me roll backwards by about a foot and stop, the thing is the car was parked on a very flat surface and there was nobody in the car.
And now almost any substance can make me hallucinate from weed to alcohol. When drinking beer, if I close my eyes I get very random images of things (eg one scene I saw while drunk was a load of bikers riding towards me on a massive tarmac surface)
I dont know what i've got, I'd like to think of HPPD as just an improved imagaination
I've done around 20+ Trips, and what my vision is like when im sober:
When I close my eyes I get a very faint wave of colours that expand out of my vision. And my mind seems to play tricks on me, for instance today at work I saw a car about 3 meters infront of me roll backwards by about a foot and stop, the thing is the car was parked on a very flat surface and there was nobody in the car.
And now almost any substance can make me hallucinate from weed to alcohol. When drinking beer, if I close my eyes I get very random images of things (eg one scene I saw while drunk was a load of bikers riding towards me on a massive tarmac surface)
I dont know what i've got, I'd like to think of HPPD as just an improved imagaination
Hammet
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bickoma said:
The following drug use took place in just over 1 year and a half. ~60 Hits of Acid. ~40 Mushroom frys (doses between an 1/8 and a 1/2), 100+ tabs of Ecstacy, DMT, DXM, 2C-I, Opium, Cocaine, Ayahausca, LSA, Salvia, Nitrus.
1. Around 100 times (not including ecstacy)
2. No
3. Definately LSD
I live in a beautiful hell.
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1. Several hundrred times
2. Yes and no- after smoking lots of salvia I found myself spontaneously entering a similar state, just based on environmental cues.
3. Um....salvia. No LSD, for general visual noise.
Most people in this thread do not have HPPD- but most are certainly going to have a heightened awareness of whats going on in their visual domains. Phosphenes, floaters- then think about thinhs like double vision etc. One becomes more inclined to believe its a change in perception (duh!) then physiology. I constantly have semi-visuals, blobs, patterning, suspicion of faces looking out from flat surfaces- but my brain is designed to do all these things constantly. I just notice my head doing it more these days.
Some persistent visual effects are disireable, such as the odd geometry that may welcome one when you awaken at night- I distinctly remember that sort of crawling DMT-ish vision upon waking as a kid, now I like to study the patterns.
2. Yes and no- after smoking lots of salvia I found myself spontaneously entering a similar state, just based on environmental cues.
3. Um....salvia. No LSD, for general visual noise.
Most people in this thread do not have HPPD- but most are certainly going to have a heightened awareness of whats going on in their visual domains. Phosphenes, floaters- then think about thinhs like double vision etc. One becomes more inclined to believe its a change in perception (duh!) then physiology. I constantly have semi-visuals, blobs, patterning, suspicion of faces looking out from flat surfaces- but my brain is designed to do all these things constantly. I just notice my head doing it more these days.
Some persistent visual effects are disireable, such as the odd geometry that may welcome one when you awaken at night- I distinctly remember that sort of crawling DMT-ish vision upon waking as a kid, now I like to study the patterns.
thugg
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I don't seem to have any sort of HPPD like symptoms anymore. For example, there was a time after considerable abuse of 2C-B, where it took 3-4 months before all the visual disturbances finally died down - I had colorful tracers and unnatural color saturation (colors more bright and vibrant) for quite some time afterwards.
However, I've also had visual snow for as long as I can remember. Well before I had ever tripped or even smoked pot. In my visual field, at any given time, I see a colorful static, similar to television static, on a smaller scale. When really stoned, or tripping, this static forms into more complex patterns, and even whilst sober is BLINDING in the darkness. It's hard to see the stairs you're walking down, when all you see is an intense white/colorful glow over everything. This also includes 'star bursts' as I call them (bright small flashes), and 'black holes', dark spots that appear and go.
It started out seeming normal enough, they weren't abnormal enough for me to think it was wrong as a kid, but have progressively gotten worse over the years, and I can tell my usage of psychedelics has made it worse - that or just time, as they both coincide together, it's hard to weave out the specific cause.
Both my mother and sister get debilitating migraines, and it says this is a form of migraine aura, so at sometime I would like to get into a doctor and tell them about it. But the times I have, they just looked at me and didn't know what I was talking about.
Here is an example of what I mean for those of you that don't know. The sad thing is, both sides essentially look the same to me, only one being that it has 'fake' static on it, looks more intense, but the other side is just as bad.
However, I've also had visual snow for as long as I can remember. Well before I had ever tripped or even smoked pot. In my visual field, at any given time, I see a colorful static, similar to television static, on a smaller scale. When really stoned, or tripping, this static forms into more complex patterns, and even whilst sober is BLINDING in the darkness. It's hard to see the stairs you're walking down, when all you see is an intense white/colorful glow over everything. This also includes 'star bursts' as I call them (bright small flashes), and 'black holes', dark spots that appear and go.
It started out seeming normal enough, they weren't abnormal enough for me to think it was wrong as a kid, but have progressively gotten worse over the years, and I can tell my usage of psychedelics has made it worse - that or just time, as they both coincide together, it's hard to weave out the specific cause.
Both my mother and sister get debilitating migraines, and it says this is a form of migraine aura, so at sometime I would like to get into a doctor and tell them about it. But the times I have, they just looked at me and didn't know what I was talking about.
Here is an example of what I mean for those of you that don't know. The sad thing is, both sides essentially look the same to me, only one being that it has 'fake' static on it, looks more intense, but the other side is just as bad.
DOHP
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Yeah thugg I get the same thing with static in my vision, all blues and purples which make it hard to see at night. And when I close my eyes if I have been doing any sort of drug like I can morph the static into interlinking patterns very similar to the CEV's I get on mdma (crystal clear, green and blue shapes all linked together and moving slowley) One of my CEV's I recreated in photoshop and have it as my avatar.
And I also have visual snow (thought it was an oev till I saw your link above) Kind of like little blue lights that move around like how I would imagain brain nuerons send signals to each other.
And I also have visual snow (thought it was an oev till I saw your link above) Kind of like little blue lights that move around like how I would imagain brain nuerons send signals to each other.
stoddard...
i think that HPPD is poorly understood by most people, even those who experience it. ive been experiencing it for about 4 years now with increasing intensity and it even pisses ME of hearing people complain. HPPD is something i never tell anyone about because i know theyll either not believe me at all or think im exaggerating, until they actually experience me swerving across the road at night trying to keep the yellow line in focus and avoiding imaginary obstacles which turn out to be flashes of light.
i havent done many drugs. well, thats a lie. but certainly nothing that would make anyone around here blush. granted i have throughout my 7 year career smoked an OBSCENE amount of ganja, other than that ive rolled my fair share of times, tripped on mushrooms i dont even remember how many times but not really a crazy amount, and ive done plenty of blow, and acid a few times... (id like to do it again but i dont want to make my problems too much worse too soon)
i see tons of visual snow, all the time. white walls have racing stripes and patterns of color all over them, i see auras at times as if getting a migraine, patterns appear to move and flow, words in lines and columns on the computer and in books are very very difficult to concentrate on and colorful and moving, and i get unexplainable body highs which feel like the feeling i get pre-orgasm, i often get feelings of unfamiliarity (ill be in a place i go literally every day multiple times and suddenly i dont recognize it, but usually only for a split second), i have difficulty sleeping, and im EXTREMELY anxious at times (i dont actually legitimately fear anything but i get terribly jumpy over the smallest motion or noise, and when something surprises me it gives me shooting pain in my back). wow, im so used to experiencing all this that writing it down makes it seem pretty bad. anyway, i could go on and on but the point is, however this happened to me, its real.
i have many reasons to believe that HPPD is something that certain people acquire because theyre genetically or chemically predisposed to it. i highly doubt it has much to do at all with the amount of drugs a person has taken although obviously it gets worse as you continue to use. ive read a lot about HPPD being caused by the abnormal activation of certain neural circuits playing a role... when drugs are taken neurons behave differently and this usually wears off after a high is lost. but supposedly in people with HPPD, something about the way the neurons in certain parts of the brain communicate is more likely to be altered permanently (and more severely) because of certain chemical conditions in the brain.
if you consider it this way, it really doesnt seem as crazy. it actually makes a lot of sense. i remember the morning after the first time i rolled on ecstasy, i got blue dots in my peripheral vision when i turned my eyes to either side. i still see these dots. i remember after one particularly frightening experience with way too many chemicals in my system, including an amount of ecstasy that was ill just say, significant... ive had visual snow since then. it wasnt ever really a problem though because for years i had been taking SSRI antidepressants. i quit these last december and that was when my vision completely went INSANE. now i dont just see abstract patterns of color, i see objects and pictures and real things tesselated together and spiralling outward. i see faces in almost everything i look at. i am incredibly nervous and jumpy when im alone to the point where a small flash of light reflecting off of something is enough to make me jump out of my skin. its extremely annoying, and painful in my back. but if simply altering the chemical composition of my brain by quitting taking a low-dose antidepressant can do that, HPPD makes a lot more sense.
i had OCD for a significant portion of my childhood. most disturbing was that every time i tried to sleep i got horrific, awful, unimaginably terrifying images stuck in my head. some were real things id seen, some were not. i still have this problem on occasion, years upon years later, although ive learned how to deal with the episodes. when i was young, about 10 or 11, i always thought that if it didnt go away i would rather kill myself than live with it. it really was agonizing. when i had to be around my dads side of the family, who seriously intimidated me and made me uncomfortable, i used to have episodes where i felt like the whole world was rocking back and forth, but it wasnt like a dizziness, and it lasted for a few hours.
i went on antidepressants at a very young age and they pretty much solved the problem. i went off at 13 but became incredibly nervous and shy. i became severely depressed at about 15 with a very bad family situation, and i went back to SSRIs and stayed on until last december, when i was 18. despite the visual symptoms adn the anxiety, ive never felt better in my life. i feel alive again, and now that im older and wiser i know how to deal with troubles in my life better than most people i know.
the point of all this is that certain people are definitely predisposed to abnormal brain activity. i am an intelligent person, but im no scientist. i wish i had the words to explain all this better. HPPD isnt so bad when you understand it. i really should quit smoking weed, but i dont plan to anytime soon.
OH thats another thing worth mentioning---when i first started smoking weed i would get so high i couldnt move or speak or see. ive had visual and bodily experiences so insane they make acid seem like nothing. just from being extremely high. i know you cant believe me, so i wont try to explain, but i swear on everything thats holy im speaking the truth. drugs generally affect me very differently than they do most people. i dont know how, and i dont know why, but this is real.
but thats why i hate when people complain about HPPD... because if you have it, it may mean youre capable of experiencing insanity unlike anyone else does from doing the same amounts of the same drugs. certain drugs also effect me less intensely, more intensely, or just completely differently than they do other people. HPPD is pretty fucking scary when you arent familiar with it. its annoying and even somewhat debilitating, but its manageable. people who have it just need to be careful because we cant go all out all the time. i still do and i definitely feel it affecting me constantly, but i know what it is. and i think theres something unique and insane about the way we see the world... like constantly being stuck in the middle of fear and loathing in las vegas. terrifying and real. so drugs have permanently fucked you up... welcome to the american dream.
i think that HPPD is poorly understood by most people, even those who experience it. ive been experiencing it for about 4 years now with increasing intensity and it even pisses ME of hearing people complain. HPPD is something i never tell anyone about because i know theyll either not believe me at all or think im exaggerating, until they actually experience me swerving across the road at night trying to keep the yellow line in focus and avoiding imaginary obstacles which turn out to be flashes of light.
i havent done many drugs. well, thats a lie. but certainly nothing that would make anyone around here blush. granted i have throughout my 7 year career smoked an OBSCENE amount of ganja, other than that ive rolled my fair share of times, tripped on mushrooms i dont even remember how many times but not really a crazy amount, and ive done plenty of blow, and acid a few times... (id like to do it again but i dont want to make my problems too much worse too soon)
i see tons of visual snow, all the time. white walls have racing stripes and patterns of color all over them, i see auras at times as if getting a migraine, patterns appear to move and flow, words in lines and columns on the computer and in books are very very difficult to concentrate on and colorful and moving, and i get unexplainable body highs which feel like the feeling i get pre-orgasm, i often get feelings of unfamiliarity (ill be in a place i go literally every day multiple times and suddenly i dont recognize it, but usually only for a split second), i have difficulty sleeping, and im EXTREMELY anxious at times (i dont actually legitimately fear anything but i get terribly jumpy over the smallest motion or noise, and when something surprises me it gives me shooting pain in my back). wow, im so used to experiencing all this that writing it down makes it seem pretty bad. anyway, i could go on and on but the point is, however this happened to me, its real.
i have many reasons to believe that HPPD is something that certain people acquire because theyre genetically or chemically predisposed to it. i highly doubt it has much to do at all with the amount of drugs a person has taken although obviously it gets worse as you continue to use. ive read a lot about HPPD being caused by the abnormal activation of certain neural circuits playing a role... when drugs are taken neurons behave differently and this usually wears off after a high is lost. but supposedly in people with HPPD, something about the way the neurons in certain parts of the brain communicate is more likely to be altered permanently (and more severely) because of certain chemical conditions in the brain.
if you consider it this way, it really doesnt seem as crazy. it actually makes a lot of sense. i remember the morning after the first time i rolled on ecstasy, i got blue dots in my peripheral vision when i turned my eyes to either side. i still see these dots. i remember after one particularly frightening experience with way too many chemicals in my system, including an amount of ecstasy that was ill just say, significant... ive had visual snow since then. it wasnt ever really a problem though because for years i had been taking SSRI antidepressants. i quit these last december and that was when my vision completely went INSANE. now i dont just see abstract patterns of color, i see objects and pictures and real things tesselated together and spiralling outward. i see faces in almost everything i look at. i am incredibly nervous and jumpy when im alone to the point where a small flash of light reflecting off of something is enough to make me jump out of my skin. its extremely annoying, and painful in my back. but if simply altering the chemical composition of my brain by quitting taking a low-dose antidepressant can do that, HPPD makes a lot more sense.
i had OCD for a significant portion of my childhood. most disturbing was that every time i tried to sleep i got horrific, awful, unimaginably terrifying images stuck in my head. some were real things id seen, some were not. i still have this problem on occasion, years upon years later, although ive learned how to deal with the episodes. when i was young, about 10 or 11, i always thought that if it didnt go away i would rather kill myself than live with it. it really was agonizing. when i had to be around my dads side of the family, who seriously intimidated me and made me uncomfortable, i used to have episodes where i felt like the whole world was rocking back and forth, but it wasnt like a dizziness, and it lasted for a few hours.
i went on antidepressants at a very young age and they pretty much solved the problem. i went off at 13 but became incredibly nervous and shy. i became severely depressed at about 15 with a very bad family situation, and i went back to SSRIs and stayed on until last december, when i was 18. despite the visual symptoms adn the anxiety, ive never felt better in my life. i feel alive again, and now that im older and wiser i know how to deal with troubles in my life better than most people i know.
the point of all this is that certain people are definitely predisposed to abnormal brain activity. i am an intelligent person, but im no scientist. i wish i had the words to explain all this better. HPPD isnt so bad when you understand it. i really should quit smoking weed, but i dont plan to anytime soon.
OH thats another thing worth mentioning---when i first started smoking weed i would get so high i couldnt move or speak or see. ive had visual and bodily experiences so insane they make acid seem like nothing. just from being extremely high. i know you cant believe me, so i wont try to explain, but i swear on everything thats holy im speaking the truth. drugs generally affect me very differently than they do most people. i dont know how, and i dont know why, but this is real.
but thats why i hate when people complain about HPPD... because if you have it, it may mean youre capable of experiencing insanity unlike anyone else does from doing the same amounts of the same drugs. certain drugs also effect me less intensely, more intensely, or just completely differently than they do other people. HPPD is pretty fucking scary when you arent familiar with it. its annoying and even somewhat debilitating, but its manageable. people who have it just need to be careful because we cant go all out all the time. i still do and i definitely feel it affecting me constantly, but i know what it is. and i think theres something unique and insane about the way we see the world... like constantly being stuck in the middle of fear and loathing in las vegas. terrifying and real. so drugs have permanently fucked you up... welcome to the american dream.
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^Thankyou for sharing; and welcome to Bluelight. Out of curiousity, is your HPPD a medical diagnosis? Not disputing it at all- just curious. I can realte to a fair bit of what you say, to a much lesser extent- such as that feeling of not knowing where you are for a split second- kind of derealisation and depersonalisation at once.
Interestingly a fair bit of what you described can occurr with SSRI's. That strange sexual, pre-orgasm feeling- I often get that if I yawn. I also experience strange bouts of bodily euphoria, often intense relaxation of the muscles, or a feeling of being hammered into my seat. Usually I'm stoned though, so that makes sense.
Your symptoms sound frightening Cremenoir; but it also seems like you may have developed a way of dealing with it. That would be good if you could share that.
Interestingly a fair bit of what you described can occurr with SSRI's. That strange sexual, pre-orgasm feeling- I often get that if I yawn. I also experience strange bouts of bodily euphoria, often intense relaxation of the muscles, or a feeling of being hammered into my seat. Usually I'm stoned though, so that makes sense.
Your symptoms sound frightening Cremenoir; but it also seems like you may have developed a way of dealing with it. That would be good if you could share that.
ifonly
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i have huge trails thru the air when i wave my hands orobjects thru it, in any sort of light. much like lsd trails, but not as intense as a true strong trip.
i have assumed this is hppd...also if i focus on a blank wall or something i get a wierd flashy/swirly/thingo in the centre of my vision, when i take acid this intensifys and visably grows to become the focus of swirls etc, then when the acid wears of it shrinks but doesnt compltetely dissapear...
i have assumed this is hppd...also if i focus on a blank wall or something i get a wierd flashy/swirly/thingo in the centre of my vision, when i take acid this intensifys and visably grows to become the focus of swirls etc, then when the acid wears of it shrinks but doesnt compltetely dissapear...
the_ketaman
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I have had 2.
Ive done acid about 10 times. Most times I go into my bathroom the tiles on the floor start morphing a little. It doesnt happen anymore, but it lasted for a good year. I actually liked it, but it wasnt controllable.
Ive done K about 15-20 times, one time in the bathroom again the whole wall went green, now every now and then if I look out of the corner of my eye everything is a little green. Neither were from a bad trip and neither happened all the time.
Ive done acid about 10 times. Most times I go into my bathroom the tiles on the floor start morphing a little. It doesnt happen anymore, but it lasted for a good year. I actually liked it, but it wasnt controllable.
Ive done K about 15-20 times, one time in the bathroom again the whole wall went green, now every now and then if I look out of the corner of my eye everything is a little green. Neither were from a bad trip and neither happened all the time.
the_ketaman
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HPPD.
They have come and gone.....to be honest I dont know if its hppd, but I know its from tripping because none of this stuff happened before I tripped.....maybe its some psychosis shit lol, but my mind isnt affected, just visuals.
They have come and gone.....to be honest I dont know if its hppd, but I know its from tripping because none of this stuff happened before I tripped.....maybe its some psychosis shit lol, but my mind isnt affected, just visuals.
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^I don't think you can have two HPPDs- you got it or don't. Its like saying so-and-so has two schizophrenias. However, if you meant episodes it makes perfect sense, and I've used my razor sharp intellect to analyse something completely incorrectly.
the_ketaman
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^^Your probably 100% correct. All I know is this stuff never happened before I tripped. The stuff from the acid never happens anymore, but this green in the corner of my eye happens pretty often to this day.
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^Reasearch phosphenes- start by rubbing your eye, and seeing the result. Various things, non-visual, can interact with the visual cortex, and thus be interpreted as vision. In the eye-rubbing example, its mechanical pressure on the optic nerve. When I'm tired, I get HEAPS of 'visuals'- I'd love to know why its more common then.
It seems HPPD is really what it is; a persisting psychedelic state or at least, one that fluctuates into a psychedelic state, but accompanied by extreme anxiety.
It seems HPPD is really what it is; a persisting psychedelic state or at least, one that fluctuates into a psychedelic state, but accompanied by extreme anxiety.
DOHP
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Apparently we are only seeing about 80% of what is actually there and the brain makes up the rest (e.g. around the edges of your vision and in your blind spot) Alot of weird thing tend to happen at the edge of my vision, sometimes I go to look at the sky when its night and for a split second at the top of my vision I can see all the stars out but by the time im actually looking at them I can see that it is very cloudy and there is not one star that I can see.
And does the pre orgasm feeling have anything to do with HPPD, because I started to get it after using lots of mdma. I get this great sort of numbing feeling all over and if I concentrate I can increase the feeling.
And does the pre orgasm feeling have anything to do with HPPD, because I started to get it after using lots of mdma. I get this great sort of numbing feeling all over and if I concentrate I can increase the feeling.
Gnosisseur
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I've just recently started seeing brief, subtle but still enjoyable flashes of OEV while not tripping - not really anything annoying quite yet, so even if they were more frequent they would not be diagnosable as HPPD. I've found that CEVs have become pretty much a matter of closing my eyes with any kind of music on.