Some kind of trip report: AL-LAD 150 mcg - Deep on two occations
I've got a broad and long exposure to many psychedelic tryptamines, ergolines and phenethylamines.
Just want to share a few observations from my 2 different 150 mcg experiences with AL-LAD regarding headspace/depth. The blotters had AL-LAD on one side and the molecule printed on the other side. They were slightly grayish, bought in 2018). I will not follow the standard trip report format with time stamps.
I've seen many contradictory reports regarding AL-LAD. Some get wild visuals and definitely some mind fuck from one 150 mcg tab, others need 2-3 tabs and some say hardly any mind fuck even then. Unevenly dosed blotters or individual differences in sensitivity? I don't know, but other blotters like ALD-52 - which seems to originate from the same place - have been very uniformly and accurately dosed in my experience.
Anyhow, my experiences from one AL-LAD trip this autumn and one recently are very similar.
On both trips I have fasted a few hours, pre-dosed with 1/2 g of phenibut 2-4 h before.
Might have had very slight tolerance from some 2C-B or 2C-T-21 from 6-7 days before.
I've taken the AL-LAD around noon, alerts after 30-40 min, obvious effects after 60 min. Slight nausea - no other body load.
Visually some kind of light pastel color overlays in pink, light green and light turquoise. Slight underwater feeling, vivid imagination where I easily can see faces and figures in stones and roots etc.
Very slight waving/breathing/morphing of branches - similar to 15-17 mg 2C-B HBr for me. Definitely less visual than 20+ mg 2C-B HBr.
Lots of smiling for no apparent reason, music sounds great – but not as fantastic as on LSD.
Head space is quite lucid, stream of thought is sped up - maybe like 30-40 mcg LSD. A bit easily distracted. Mydriasis is not obvious in good light, but can be seen in low light. Nothing extreme. No problem appearing sober in most circumstances. (But that is after +200 trips over 30+ years, so YMMV.)
Anyhow, on both trips, around the 4 hour mark, I start thinking of death and losses. A present theme as my mom has terminal cancer and a friend just passed away.
The first time I listened to - please indulge me, seemed very important to me - Nils Frahm's Says. Not by choice, just one random song from my 64GB SD card with mp3's. Maybe had heard it just once before.
I start thinking of my parents; how their upbringing influenced who I have become, and similar thoughts. Then I get this idea that we are all prisoners in our own bodies, that to die is to become free, free from all pain and the limitations of our sensory apparatus. Like someone once said, dying is like taking off a bad fitting shoe. I feel a longing to go there (the other side), to be with my lost relatives, to be with the all loving force. I feel loved by this force for who I am, with all my faults.
I see death as a jubilant occasion to celebrate! I cry very deeply and cleansing. Not out of just sadness or of joy, maybe out of this feeling of love – or a mixture of all those feelings.
Normally I'm some sort of half agnostic, half Buddhist, half Taoist kind of person. (I know the math doesn't add up ;^).) It all feels very natural, true and fantastic! A very deep and rewarding experience! Not an ego death, but definitely left me with a bit of reduced ego.
Fast forward half a year. Prelude to today's trip:
I've been planing to visit my dying mother and my daughter have been really teenage sullen regarding that trip. After a lot of pushing and cajoling she comes out and says that she's anxious meeting grandma and that she thinks a lot about death. Great that she got that out!
I take my AL-LAD tab and goes for a long forest walk. Beautiful day, can't stop smiling! That I had slight anxiety - as always - before dropping seems ridiculous now. Walking home I start imagining having a conversation with my daughter about death. That we're all (in the words of Joseph Campbell) like light bulbs, and we all will break down and stop shining one day. But if we don't identify with the bulb, but with the light (& the electricity), we will go on forever - as energy never can be destructed. Coming closer to home I realize that the metaphor may be a bit difficult for her to comprehend... Want to tell her that she is everything & that everything is she... No, that won't work either… ;^)
Now listening to - also by random - Philip Glass, Glassworks, Opening. Somehow similar to Says by Nils Frahm. Both so beautiful! Returning home, I'll be alone for a couple of hours. I’m going back in my memories to the feeling from the AL-LAD trip 5 month ago. Feeling this longing to become one with the source; to be drinking from that infinite well of love, to not be - to be everything. Thinking of some of my hard times, my unsuccessful attempts as a child to help my emotionally crippled parents. I do some deep, deep crying. After a not brief time, I suddenly feel deep, nonjudgmental, love for myself. Feeling so much gratefulness and love to those who made these molecules for the first time and especially to those who - undoubtedly with much intelligence, dedication, love and courage - made them available to me and others.
All this is written at the tail end of the second trip - so will probably embarrass me in a day or two... :^) and it may all be psychotic ramblings.
But AL-LAD can definitely be deep - and not very visual - at 150 mcg. At least for me these 2 times. Definitely one of my top 5 psychedelics!
I share my stories for others to learn from, as I've learned a lot from others stories.
May the force be with you!
