Hey, welcome to bluelight
Thanks for sharing your experience. This compound is fascinating as it is puzzling (And maybe that's one of the reasons its so appealing). I've been using it weekly/biweekly on average for a year and a half now, and I still find it somewhat unpredictable. As you said every experience is so different. Sometimes the same dose has me manic and stimulated, and another day feeling disphoric and confused. Experiences for me have been mostly positive, and I use it at the lower range most of the time.
I haven't thought about this, but now that you mentioned it I must say I agree. It is more pronounced on higher dosages (13 mg is the most I've done at once iirc). That nice feeling of mental clarity is indeed akin to a long meditation session. What you describe as the "second plateau" is usally rather confusing at doses over 10 mg, but after that there some zen like stillness.
This on the other hand I find rather concerning. Which kind of dosages are you taking and how often? This is usual on dissos but not after coming down from them. I would take that as a symptom of accumulation of the material in your system. 3-MeO-PCP is supposed to have a rather long elimination half-life. I would encourage anyone experiencing this kind of side effects to take a break from all dissos.
I will disclose here that I personally have been have been suffering from long term depression compounded by social isolation, lack of employment, a money source to live off (mom died when I was 10 and left me a trust fund) and in general a reason to not give a fuck about the damage that I do to my body for the past year or so especially (I'm 22)
I know the general advice is not to do psychs/dissos if you are not mentally stable, but depression, loneliness and boredom is magical in its ability to convince you that an RC called 3meo just might be worthwhile to do in your boredom (then again boredom and depression is magical in its ability to convince you to try anything to get out of this state of mind...)
---
When I first encountered 3meo back in Dec 2016 I started off small, 7mg. I had done ketamine before then (AKA: fell in love with, got addicted to, and eventually abandoned ketamine after uncontrollably absorbing 2g of ketamine in 2 months after first trying. bought two grams after getting a sample. I dont want to spill here what I did with ketamine).
I am hoping to find solace in my personal adventure through a confusing series of events that still has yet to explain itself to me.
The first time I did 3meo I stayed at home and was in love with how I felt. Carefree. Suddenly who I was in the past was thrown out the window. Smooth psychedelic distortion combined with slight amnesia, a frame of mind that I can't explain even to this day. I loved the music I listened to, the creative pursuits I found, the writing I spilled.
I was living by myself, I wouldn't see anyone else for weeks at a time in a busy city. Being lonely in an otherwise busy city is disconcerting and I know its my fault. Nothing is more alienating than being an unconfirmed disso addict shopping for groceries whilst other supposedly undisturbed individuals carry on their weekly grocery retrieval skills.
I had a friend and family that I could reach out to (they lived hours away) but what are they going to do? Talk to me on the phone and attempt to babysit me and tell me not to do drugs and seek help and get a job and be happy? They meant well but it just wasn't socially acceptable to ask them to solve my problems, namely why am I depressed and somewhat suicidal.
2017 starts and I find myself falling into spells of erratic 3meo usage. I did not keep an accurate log of the amounts I did, when and why.
Boredom. Isolation. A spell of passion convinced me possessing 5grams of 3meo was a worthwhile pursuit, lo and behold, I suddenly possessed enough 3meo to last any sane man a lifetime
And so I found myself falling into amnesiac fits of depression masked by 3meo.
I hope I don't appear as if I am bragging. Me writing this out is therapeutic in its own regard.
Whenever my situation became too much... I went straight to my plastic storage cabinet and retrieved my scale along with my Freedom
Looking back on it now I didnt see myself as an addict, I just saw myself as someone trying to get through the next day, to breathe and not feel utterly suicidal.
I have come so far in my understanding of myself, through LSD and many other psychedelics that I simply can't believe that I would be addicted to any one single drug, a dissociative especially