So the story really follows quite well until a friend went into psychosis/schizo effects by not eating or sleeping for about two weeks that well. This person was my ABSOLUTE best friend and we had plans of dosing it properly and all volumetrically prepared with syringes and IM syringes and oral tests, allergy tests.
Oh and onto the beginning of the use… I was so god damned careful with the dosage trying it out…. Then I went for a big dose days later which was JUST FINE until that schizo friend sent me to the hospital thinking I NEEDED to go because I needed a psych ward for three days. I had to use the cops to get my keys when the hospital let me go WITHIN THREE HOURS. I told them I knew what I was doing, I could talk about the NDMA receptor and all kinds of stuff it was fine… This friend blocked me while I'm in the ER at 3:30 AM telling me I need jesus, she had already been telling me about the messages she hears from the radio and TV. This person was trying to control me and get me on a three day hold or something. It was real fucked up. I can't remember everything that happened the right way, even the beginning of the use is confusing because I remember trying low doses just to gauge effects and what not. I remember being fine for days until… something and that girl.
It's hard to piece together what happened exactly.. the timeline and everything…
This person had a lot of issues going on but to make a long story short she kind of fucked me over real hard…. Completely left me as a best friend after going out on a date with a girl, and she hadn't been with a girl in years and other things… Basically I got suicidal and had the drugs on hand… I ended up having to go through A TON OF STRESS to get my belongings back and another person who had been in my life started staying with me.
So I ended up with a bunch of DCK and 3-meo and went on some huge binge for however long it lasted… Maybe two weeks… Maybe four.
I stayed high as shit on DCK and 3-meo fluctuating between addiction, being suicidal, being over stressed, feeling HEAVILY fucked over...
I last used tuesday and felt great until I ate a bunch of wheat christmas eve. Cannabis seemed to be helping until the wheat.. I must have still been high.
So I want to quit every thing and just deal with it.. I'm so glad for the replies though. They REALLY help. I'm very ADD feeling and everything that was said was so relevant.
So I'm just gonna have to deal with the symptoms, not treat them with anything? Not even magnesium malate? I was JUST using this prior to the 3-meo incident with great success for feelings of anxiety and ADD. I have a real anxiety problem and it was getting better. There's something about magnesium and calcium levels and ADD.
All I know now is that I REALLY want to achieve baseline with healthy eating and exercise. I've been into conscious eating for a long time now and it's the only way I feel good. I get actual symptoms from foods like peanut butter and wheat and so many other things.
Anyways… Are you guys sure there is nothing worth taking for helping my brain heal quicker? I know bacopa could be messy. Lions mane some other memory enhancers like PRL-8-53 or something that makes sense with positive reviews. Magnesium makes a lot of sense with ADD people, especially with anxiety. The doctor already prescribed magnesium oxide which I haven't even taken because… Well I'm sure you know. And those binders and fillers…
I want to try something simple that heals the brain… Lions mane, some of the russian stuff. I know this isn't the right thread to ask these questions, but you guys helped tremendously so far.
3-meo changed my life for the better every time I used it until this time. I figured out quickly how it's a molecule that needs respected and that you start to get to know it because it's so subtle...
I'm going to have to say goodbye to drugs, aren't I?

Just go to food, the advice you guys gave, and my super green smoothies I've been making… Months of waiting to get better… I was doing so good prior to this incident!
I learned a lot about really not letting people get to me, I feel like I learned a lot from this. I'm going to forget a lot of what I learned too… I can't pull memories out too well or form them or stay focused. I also didn't plan on writing this big of a reply. I know I fucked up but I really want to feel better….
Would a doctor prescribed anything that could hurt me? Would anti psychotics be dumb? I already talked to the pharmacist about the abuse, he knows my history of everything.. He told me that at my doctors appointment the psychiatrist will do something for the racing thoughts… I didn't even bother to ask what that meant because at the time I wanted nothing more than to be sober and take the least amount of chemicals...
Damn I'm really just going to have to tough this one out. I must keep making the next right decision. It does not include any drug use at all and if I get depressed or anxious or confused, I need to have something written down so I can help myself when I can't think.
All because I got suicidal with two vials of two dissos and a binge that left me continuing to do it suicidally at times… With as much as I want to get high, there is nothing but sobriety at this point… Damn I fucked up a great thing by letting that person….. Well I did it to myself, just heavily heavily triggered and controlled and stressed out..
Alright no more filling the thread with this kind of stuff. It's hard to focus and search myself, like to think of doing that isn't an idea I have. So I can google what kind of damage I did. Like dopaminergic receptor cell death or excitoxicity or something, I have no idea what it would be at this point…. but thank you for the replies!
Edit: I want to try noopept or something…