I understand what you're saying, SKL, about not experiencing the full potential of LSD if you're taking benzos before the trip. I've never tried this, I only take them to fall asleep afterwards. Sometimes I wonder if it would be a good idea, though. I am usually prone to getting stuck in paranoid patterns of circular thought, usually just ideas that concern other people's perspective of me, which makes me a bit hard to communicate with on L. I tend to recess and keep to myself on LSD a lot, but then again the last time I took it was with like 10 people. I remember as a kid having the best trips with one or two other people, likely best friends and traveling partners for life. I really loved LSD so much at one point in my life. I remember tripping one day after the other at shows when I was younger, in search for good L all the time. Now I'm usually on the hunt for the best Molly or MDA, and definitely 2CB as I've never tried it before. I just have this anxiety about tripping. BD, this may be of interest to you: About a year ago almost to the date, I tripped with one of my best friends and tripping partners and another good friend of mine, on a half hit of L. Weird trip, we just sat around laughing all night. The next night my buddy ate an eighth of mushrooms and got very violent. My friends called me over and I had to hold one of my best friend's mouth shut while I sat on top of him trying to restrain him. That lasted for almost 4 hours. No one was really sure as to why it happened, and he tried experimenting more with psychedelics a month or two later and didn't have the most comforting trip again. After that period of time, and that night his trip went bad specifically, I felt like I lost him. We lost him. He stopped partying, stopped hanging out, stopped coming out of his house. We thought he was trapped within his own mind from the experience. It has just been in the past couple weeks that we've started seeing him a bit more and he seems to be coming out on a more regular basis. We are very relieved and thankful for this as we felt for so long that an integral part of brotherhood\family\friends had vanished. I think that he has an anxiety problem that started to bloom (later than most, he's 21.) months after his trip as it would in any normal human being, and we interpreted it a little differently, but I do think that it had something to do with the trip(s). I don't attribute my anxiety towards tripping to those moments or that person by any means, it's just that as I've grown older it's harder to deal with my perception of reality being cracked, smashed, and broken in front of my eyes.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I think that in order for me to fall back in love with LSD, my next trips are going to have to abide by any of these 3 things:
1.) I take a much larger dosage. An immersion into the substance, if you will. I've heard that taking large dosages is much easier to deal with because your ego dies and you don't wonder "Am I ever going to come out of this?" or have any type of thoughts like that. You're strictly witnessing the chaos in front of you and are immersed in the experience, there is no tip of reality to hang on to and mix up your state of consciousness.
2.) Take it during the day time! The last time I tripped, which got hard to deal with after about 6 hours, I ate it just before midnight. At about 5 A.M. I started having the craziest revelations and thought circles. I felt as though I was stuck in between time, as if time were a jar of jelly and I was navigating through it. Time would resume to normal seconds\minutes passing, but then bouts of pauses-of-time would come at me like title waves where my mind would wander. I'd be watching half-baked and the movie would be playing and progressing as normal, but as time started to pause certain characters would go into monologues about what I was thinking (in my head) and start talking to me, etc., and then time would warp back to normal and the movie would continue. Anyway, I think taking L during the day time is much easier to deal with as there isn't so much darkness and unknownness. Things are positive and I seem to be able to operate much better on it. If anything, I've always tried to plan it so that I'm peaking around sunset. I haven't done that in years. :sigh:
3.) Take a smaller dosage alone, or without others knowing exactly.
I want to rekindle our relationship so badly. I miss those days. I miss you.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I think SSRI's are largely 'placebo' for me, if anything. However, one shouldn't 'choose' their SSRI to taylor it to your desire to trip; your health has to come before all that. LSD is a potentially fantastic substance, but by the same token, it can absolutely kick your arse forever.
