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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The ANGRY thread v2

Fucking pissed off at myself.
This past week or two have been an embarrassment, simply pathetic. The scary thing is, I'm enjoying this. I enjoy being fucked up and ruining myself slowly.
Today I woke up with my kidneys aching, my ass cheeks hurting (from falling over), and shaking like a 60 year old.

I cba explaining it but to give you an idea of what I mean, I look at my phone today and find 10 pics and something like 6 or 7 vids recorded which I can't remember how/when/where I took them. All from the last 2 or 3 days.
One of the photos is me inside a building I don't recognize with the phone pointed up at the ceiling. No idea where that was taken.

I'm like Eminem at the peak of his drug use and I've only just started off, can't image what's down the road for me..
 
plmar said:
Fucking pissed off at myself.
This past week or two have been an embarrassment, simply pathetic. The scary thing is, I'm enjoying this. I enjoy being fucked up and ruining myself slowly.
Today I woke up with my kidneys aching, my ass cheeks hurting (from falling over), and shaking like a 60 year old.

I cba explaining it but to give you an idea of what I mean, I look at my phone today and find 10 pics and something like 6 or 7 vids recorded which I can't remember how/when/where I took them. All from the last 2 or 3 days.
One of the photos is me inside a building I don't recognize with the phone pointed up at the ceiling. No idea where that was taken.

I'm like Eminem at the peak of his drug use and I've only just started off, can't image what's down the road for me..
Click to expand...

That's the way. Get the anger out. Now have a good scream.
 
Fucking pissed off and miserable. I assume I've mentioned I've been in an open relationship til recently (that's the Mrs Snolls I refer to to avoid explaining every time), where the understanding was everyone knows everything. We ended stuff just before me and her find out her boyfriend had been trolling sex sites for the past two years and said nothing. He's lying about it. She confronted him and he lied. He told her he deactivated all his profiles last night and instead has set them to pay only and slightly changed his username. She comes here in tears about it and she tells me to keep an eye on him so I check today, ring her and she's like...I dunno its banging my head against a brick wall. She makes excuse after excuse for him and SHE HAS FUCKING PROOF. And now we all need to get tested and I'm seeing someone else.

I want to go round and break his fucking jaw because she keeps saying she'll throw him out and then just fucks it off. So now we're getting into an argument cos she's all 'Fuck him I'm coming over' then ten mins later 'staying in to work'. All I get is excuses for the piece of shit. I know this is overly angry but she got me involved and yeah we're still friends and yes I still have feelings for her. And I just get a message saying 'I genuinely love you'. What the fuck am I even doing?

I shouldn't want to go over there and break his fucking face but I do.

I should be happy with the girl I'm starting to see now, and I really do like her but I just can't not love ex Mrs Snolls. I don't even know if is in the right thread because I am blubbing like a baby and it seems like pathetic drama but I stupidly said I'd be there and she stupidly keeps saying she still loves me and when I was on LSZ with her we were just laying and cuddling on her bed and I get butterflies and think 'Oh fuck'.

Basically my love life is a disaster and I am angry and sad
 
I am seriously debating it. I've offered many a time but she's turned me down. However the next time I happen to see him, fuck what she thinks.

So I am gonna sit and listen to music and do drugs a bit and calm down. Ah I thought this stuff got less complicated the older you get but then I was asking for it getting involved to start.
 
curious_24 said:
What do you mean by "trolling sex sites"? Looking at porn?
Click to expand...

No-strings sex facilitated through the internet. Hence the pressing need for all concerned to get tested.

snolly said:
Ah I thought this stuff got less complicated the older you get
Click to expand...

D'you reckon? ;)

In all seriousness, this is just a fucked-up situation. Don't blame yourself for your involvement. It happens.
 
Sammy G said:
No-strings sex facilitated through the internet. Hence the pressing need for all concerned to get tested.



D'you reckon? ;)

In all seriousness, this is just a fucked-up situation. Don't blame yourself for your involvement. It happens.
Click to expand...

Thanks :) To all of ya Shit's going better now. I think. Just a fucker round this time. And yeah some of the birds I saw jesus christ.
 
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Fucking hell I'm glad I don't have a family where I have to hide my drug use. Can't imagine having to try and sort my shit out without having that basic level of support.
 
I was very angry with my brother but ive risen above it now. I sent a text asking for back up for my son.I did have a glimmer of hope that he understood simple english and had some concept of right and wring.
I got told that i am not a good person and only to send him facts.That the help i need is not the help he can give ( drugs and mental health...tho my mental healthis fine and diddly- think thats his problem how can a junkie be happy and content with themselves?) There is nout he can do till i address these issues. Nout he will do more like. Im not going to give detail about what happened the other week but i was pretty shook up up until a couple of days ago. This makes me stronger knowing i have to do it all alone...but it does sicken me. The old pinky doesnt know her own mind game. The conditions . Man its hard not having back up. Any way ive just had my anger raised alittle more. While i was texting big brother he rang my son to make sure that he was alright due to mad texts from myself! If hes alright.
Ive forgotten where i was there coz i was just chatting with my son who because my bro hag rung him wanted to know what hed done wrong for me to contact his uncke for support. I set his mind at rest that it was hust a general back up thing. My lad tokd me straight that im wasting my time and they havent a good word to say about me.
So when im in charge om going to criminakise real ale to turn the tables on my bro so i can look down my nose at his choice of wind down. Fucking hell life was more dangerous and i fekt worse when i drank .
I realky want to do sonething about changing attitudes to drugs.I really hate it that there are such things as pokiticians and laws. I just want peace.
I am a good person. It hurts even tho i try not to let it that my siblings look on me and treat me with contempt but i alwYs was tge butt of their jokes.n
 
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