The ANGRY thread v2

[knock]

The lifestyle that goes with being back on gear, the mental torment that it can cause, the fueling of criminal gangs (some may be sound but there's definitely some seriously horrible people in control of the whole scheme, as we all know ).

Do the government really want that? When they're cutting police rates and everything that goes with it (social services, mental therapy and counselling, NHS cuts etc. etc.) ...
It's such a sad and bleak thought to think that this is what the future will hold for people in such a situation [/COLOR]

Well, it just makes think 1980s all over again! Which is quite apposite given current events. Economy turns to shit, high unemployment rate, heroin is required to keep the people docile...

 

[monstanoodle]

Well, it just makes think 1980s all over again! Which is quite apposite given current events. Economy turns to shit, high unemployment rate, heroin is required to keep the people docile...

Trés true indeed - It's the use of drugs to cake-over the really fucking shit things in life. Atleast that's how and why I tried substances and stuck with them for many years (and many years to come I don't doubt), to tint the world rose, or just to blot out all the horrible stuff going on

 

[Shambles]

Aye. Is a recipe for disaster the way drug treatment and certain NHS sevices are going combined with all the other political wankery of recent years. Definitely got a bit of an 80s whiff about it. But given the current government that's hardly a surprise. Fukkin Tories like nothing more than to set large parts of the country up to fail in such a manner they can get away with blaming the victims for it. Flip side being that there's only so long before the cracks show. I just hope that somebody has an inkling (and maybe even a policy idea or two) of how to clean up the mess.

 

[Pagey]

Angry cos me GP has just pulled the plug on my repeat scripts. All of them. Insisting that I have to taper all of them cos they're not prepared to provide maintanence scripts any longer. They are not fukkin maintenance scripts - that was the whole point of coming off of maintenance scripts so I could be treated for the underlying conditions. Have spent fukkin years jumping through hoops to finally be accepted as having legit reasons for needing my benzo and opi scripts and just when I finally have been they're sending me back to addiction treatment for tapering. Am unfeasibly pissed off

Are you kidding? What the fuck?! Really sucks Shambles, I'm not quite sure what to say but...ugh.

I'm unbelievably angry right now. My dad sent me this really long e-mail a few days ago apologising for the way he's treated me my whole life, for hitting me on a regular basis, humiliating me in front of my friends and family, tellig me I should we dead, whatever, so I expected everything to be so much better between us as soon as I got home, which was last night. He's got stomach cancer and probably not very long left to live so I figured he just wanted to make amends for everything and for us to have the semblance of a real father-daughter relationship before he died. Turns ou that e-mail was a load of bullshit and he's been nothing but horrible to me since I got back. Fucking prick. I don't even want to pretend to care he's dying anymore.

 

[Urbain]

Angry cos me GP has just pulled the plug on my repeat scripts. All of them. Insisting that I have to taper all of them cos they're not prepared to provide maintanence scripts any longer. They are not fukkin maintenance scripts - that was the whole point of coming off of maintenance scripts so I could be treated for the underlying conditions. Have spent fukkin years jumping through hoops to finally be accepted as having legit reasons for needing my benzo and opi scripts and just when I finally have been they're sending me back to addiction treatment for tapering. Am unfeasibly pissed off

Sorry to hear that Sham Hope you get things sorted

 

[monstanoodle]

I'm unbelievably angry right now. My dad sent me this really long e-mail a few days ago apologising for the way he's treated me my whole life, for hitting me on a regular basis, humiliating me in front of my friends and family, telling me I should we dead, whatever, so I expected everything to be so much better between us as soon as I got home, which was last night. He's got stomach cancer and probably not very long left to live so I figured he just wanted to make amends for everything and for us to have the semblance of a real father-daughter relationship before he died. Turns out that e-mail was a load of bullshit and he's been nothing but horrible to me since I got back. Fucking prick. I don't even want to pretend to care he's dying anymore.

Fuuuuck Pagey hun!!!!

Even though he's been a horrible excuse for the term of a "father", I think you will feel something saddening...
But I can imagine that due to his cancer and soon to be death, it will be cathartic in a manner. Obviously I don't know what fully happened, but hitting you and generally trying to fuck you up as a person (which he has failed to do, the wanker ) on a daily basis.... I'd shed very few tears, if any.

I say get yerself out of his life again, get him out of yours and live your life as you would as if he wasn't there.
Just take care of you and remember that the whole of BL is there for you if you need anything that can be done via typing.
Much love to you matey

 

[Shambles]

I'm unbelievably angry right now. My dad sent me this really long e-mail a few days ago apologising for the way he's treated me my whole life, for hitting me on a regular basis, humiliating me in front of my friends and family, tellig me I should we dead, whatever, so I expected everything to be so much better between us as soon as I got home, which was last night. He's got stomach cancer and probably not very long left to live so I figured he just wanted to make amends for everything and for us to have the semblance of a real father-daughter relationship before he died. Turns ou that e-mail was a load of bullshit and he's been nothing but horrible to me since I got back. Fucking prick. I don't even want to pretend to care he's dying anymore.

Are you kidding? What the fuck?! Really sucks Pagey, I'm not quite sure what to say but...ugh.

 

[Cornishman]

Wow Pagey that's fucking disgraceful.

I'm sorry, but what a c*nt.
And shame on your doc Shammy.

 

[Pagey]

Fuuuuck Pagey hun!!!!

Even though he's been a horrible excuse for the term of a "father", I think you will feel something saddening...
But I can imagine that due to his cancer and soon to be death, it will be cathartic in a manner. Obviously I don't know what fully happened, but hitting you and generally trying to fuck you up as a person (which he has failed to do, the wanker ) on a daily basis.... I'd shed very few tears, if any.

I say get yerself out of his life again, get him out of yours and live your life as you would as if he wasn't there.
Just take care of you and remember that the whole of BL is there for you if you need anything that can be done via typing.
Much love to you matey

Thank you I just hate realising how much it actually hurt that he didn't want to make up for any of it. He's messed me up in so many ways and I feel like it's some sort of victory for him or something. I don't know. I just don't want to be back here and to have to deal with all this shit. I've been miserable since I got back and I just don't fucking know how to deal with it except for gulping down various drug cocktails. Which only means that I'll probably do everything I can to find my old smack connec again as soon as I get back to London. I'm a wreck.

Wow Pagey that's fucking disgraceful.

I'm sorry, but what a c*nt.
And shame on your doc Shammy.

No need to apologise, he's a total cunt. I just don't get why the fuck he would pretend to be sorry if it's just to continue acting like he always has. Talk about adding insult to injury.

 

[bunnymunro]

pagey, I have just read through the whole of this thread, but there was nothing that hit me as hard as your post...thats really ad, and I guess it makes you stronger by accepting cuntism for what it is.. I have only seen you to be a giving, caring person, and for what its worth, sorry that you need to deal with this shit

 

[Pagey]

Cheers bunnymunro, I appreciate that. This whole thing has just completely set me back in every way imaginable. It's really messing with my head. I don't think I've had a sober second since I got here...this is just bringing back a lot of feelings I thought I'd left behind, and I'm in no shape to deal with them anymore.

 

[Pagey]

So my dad just hit my mom in front of my 8 year-old sister. Am literally fuming right now. I swallowed like a whole box of tetrazepam to try and calm myself down but it's not working very well. I don't even know how I can put how angry I am into words. Fuck. Tips on how to deal with wanting to kill your father would be appreciated. Especially when you're in the middle of bupe WDs and intense PMS (yeah, sorry guys) at the same time.

 

[knock]

Can you not just all get the fuck away from him?

Sorry Pagey, the situation sounds fucked up and I don't have any clever ideas, but

 

[been head]

That sounds terrible pagey, have you thought about calling the police?

 

[Shambles]

That is disgusting, Pagey. Your auld man sounds like a charmer

As for tips on dealing with pricks like that... the only short-term answer is - as Been Head suggests - police intervention. Only solution is for your mother to leave him and take the kids with her.

However, having come from similar(ish) family set-up I know it's really not always as simple as that so won't try to patronise y'all. This is gonna sound horrible... but perhaps it's for the best your father is in the condition that he is. Sounds like y'all may not have to put up with his shit for too much longer...

 

[Pagey]

Can you not just all get the fuck away from him?

Sorry Pagey, the situation sounds fucked up and I don't have any clever ideas, but

I wish...I don't know why but my mom wants to stick with him. She's told me she still loves him in some sort of twisted, sado-masochistic way. Even the fact that he hits not only her, but my siblings & me as well, isn't enough for her. I don't get it.
But thank you, really

That sounds terrible pagey, have you thought about calling the police?

I've thought about it but..God I dunno, I'm afraid it would just destroy our family even more. I have no idea what to do really. Considering he's got stomach cancer he probably doesn't have much longer to live anyway so I'm just counting the days. It's just so sickening that even when he's about to die he feels the need to act like this and continue to fuck others up.

That is disgusting, Pagey. Your auld man sounds like a charmer

As for tips on dealing with pricks like that... the only short-term answer is - as Been Head suggests - police intervention. Only solution is for your mother to leave him and take the kids with her.

However, having come from similar(ish) family set-up I know it's really not always as simple as that so won't try to patronise y'all. This is gonna sound horrible... but perhaps it's for the best your father is in the condition that he is. Sounds like y'all may not have to put up with his shit for too much longer...

Yeah, it does sound straightforward when you say it like that but as you added, it really isn't that simple. All I can say is thank fuck I don't live at home anymore and I don't have to see this on a regular basis like I used to. It's not as if my being here changed anything for them so I'd rather just nto see it, as awful as that sounds. But yeah...at least I can now say with a fair amount of certainty that his death won't be a huge tragedy.
I'm just afraid of how much this is gonna fuck up my sister. It's really really affected me and it would kill me for her to grow up with similar issues because we were unlucky enough to have a violent psychopath as a father.



The tetrazepam is starting to kick in a bit at least...thank fuck for benzos in moments like this.

 

[Shambles]

It's really really affected me and it would kill me for her to grow up with similar issues because we were unlucky enough to have a violent psychopath as a father.

I wish I had better news for you...

Actually I do. Sort of. Everybody is different and reacts differently to such things. No foregone conclusions invovled. Sounds like we come from pretty similar (at least in some aspects) family backgrounds and - fwiw - in our case the level of fucked-upness varies from sibling to sibling. All are pretty fucked-up though

Believe me I understand the situation. Even when we all got put in a home for battered women my mother still fucked it off and took us back to live with him. Wish there was an easy answer. And there is: get the cunt locked up. I just wish life worked as easily as that cos then we wouldn't have half as many fucked up folk around and about the place

Am sorry I have nothing positive to say. But men like that are dangerous parasites. They need to be excised for the good of the whole. Mine is currently in prison - thank fuck - but he managed to screw up an entirely new family even worse than he screwed up his first one (that's my one) before anyone had the balls to do what needed to be done. In total that's over a dozen lives ruined as a direct result of one "man".

I'd call the police on him in a heartbeat in your situation... if only it wouldn't make things worse. Such actions need some co-ordination. In the case of my mother - when she finally got the message and had a definite way out to look forward to - involved secret phone calls with codewords, police intervention, choreographed escape routes and death all round if it went wrong. Nasty bizniz are families sometimes. I feel your pain

 

[endlessnameless]

Lets fucking see...

1. Been waiting three weeks to get on a 30 day methadone detox program. In fact someone today told me it was a 21 day methadone detox program, in which case I'd have been off the damn stuff by this stage. I'm hoping for the call to come on Monday morning...then again I've been hoping on the same call every morning for the last 21...22 now, rather.

2. My hard-drive failed. I went out and bought an external HDD, and now Windows 8 is telling me that Microsoft no longer supports/allows the installation of its Operating Systems on external media/drives for some fucking ridiculous reason...so now I'm back to using Ubuntu until I can afford an internal HDD or devise a viable workaround that isnt flimsy as fuck. Pain in the fucking arse.

Thats about it for now. Be back to messages/PMs later folks - grrrr and shit.

 

[Shambles]

2. ... Windows 8 is telling me that Microsoft no longer supports/allows the installation of its Operating Systems on external media/drives for some fucking ridiculous reason...so now I'm back to using Ubuntu...

You make that sound like it's a Bad Thing

 

[endlessnameless]

I rather did, didnt I...

I'd prefer to dual-boot W8 alonside Ubuntu rather than just be limited to Linux; I mean as lovely as linux is to play about with, its fucking useless for music production. If I didnt depend on Windows for Reason and FL Studio then I wouldnt bother with it at all as Ubuntu satisfies every other demand of mine in terms of what I need out of an OS, but theres just some things I absolute must have Windows for...unfortunately.

You dont happen to know if W7 can be installed on an external HDD do you Shambles? Hardly the right thread, but just thought I'd venture the question whilst we're on the subject. Have a copy here so I might give that a go now actually, considering:

3. Cant for the fucking fuck of me manage to sleep a wink despite after smoking two bags of top notch Heroin. Heart of divine and holy cunt. To fucking fuck with it all...