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MDMA &
Empathogenic
Drugs
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The Agony of the Ecstasy.
- Thread starter GrabHold
- Start date
Tenchi
Bluelighter
I know you may have been making a wee joke with regard to that, but the HIV virus only survives outside of the body for a couple of hours at most and the chances of you getting a pill within a couple of hours of it being pressed is minimal. The chances of infection are basically slim to none.
Sorry, I'm just annoyingly anal when it comes to stuff like that
Sorry, I'm just annoyingly anal when it comes to stuff like that
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great post.
just another reason why everything should be taken in moderation, if at all.
for me, e is too fun and its potential as an addictive drug scares me to the point where i heavily regulate it.
it's somethin i used to (i've been on extreme diets and stuff) but i hope that people learn from your experience.
just another reason why everything should be taken in moderation, if at all.
for me, e is too fun and its potential as an addictive drug scares me to the point where i heavily regulate it.
it's somethin i used to (i've been on extreme diets and stuff) but i hope that people learn from your experience.
awaken88
Bluelighter
Weekly Abuse
At the moment im on a weekly abuse.. i've tried to give it up, but it just seems to get handed too me.
I can't go out clubbing without it.. otherwise i'll just sit there and wont be as "fun"
I've got none/little confidence without it..
I've got a rave coming up this weekend.. how can i go to that not pinging? when everyone there will be?
One thing i dont like is that you were taking the drugs while you had a kid.. if i had a kid that would be prob the only reason i'd give up...
btw my heads not really fucked come mondays, im generally alright.. i've been abusing for about 6months now... average 4 each weekend, last weekend was 12... hope i can still go with just 2 a night :/
At the moment im on a weekly abuse.. i've tried to give it up, but it just seems to get handed too me.
I can't go out clubbing without it.. otherwise i'll just sit there and wont be as "fun"
I've got none/little confidence without it..
I've got a rave coming up this weekend.. how can i go to that not pinging? when everyone there will be?
One thing i dont like is that you were taking the drugs while you had a kid.. if i had a kid that would be prob the only reason i'd give up...
btw my heads not really fucked come mondays, im generally alright.. i've been abusing for about 6months now... average 4 each weekend, last weekend was 12... hope i can still go with just 2 a night :/
Tenchi
Bluelighter
awaken88 said:
Dude, you need to slow down. Seriously.
Chicago66
Bluelighter
^DEF need to slow down.
ive been doing it weekly too for like 2 months but i havent taken more than 3 pills a night in that time....and i need to take a break.
im going to go to a jungle party this weekend so im gonna try to just chill and be sober and have fun. if not....maybe ill drink....but im gonna for sure not roll.
wish me luck haha
to the OP: its fantastic to hear that you got help and are on the road to recovery. best of luck to you.
ive been doing it weekly too for like 2 months but i havent taken more than 3 pills a night in that time....and i need to take a break.
im going to go to a jungle party this weekend so im gonna try to just chill and be sober and have fun. if not....maybe ill drink....but im gonna for sure not roll.
wish me luck haha
to the OP: its fantastic to hear that you got help and are on the road to recovery. best of luck to you.
Okay, here are my thoughts for Awaken and Chicago-
My first year of ecstasy use was much more controlled / responsible than what you are both describing here.
So, either you two will burn the fun out of it in no time and have nothing to worry about...
Or
You can re-read my story again. You could even make it a Friday night before you go out -weekly- reading ritual. To remind you what abusing this substance could do to you.
Be safe or be sorry.
GrabHold
My first year of ecstasy use was much more controlled / responsible than what you are both describing here.
So, either you two will burn the fun out of it in no time and have nothing to worry about...
Or
You can re-read my story again. You could even make it a Friday night before you go out -weekly- reading ritual. To remind you what abusing this substance could do to you.
Be safe or be sorry.
GrabHold
DarthMom
Bluelighter
sperm? please.
long story short, don't abuse drugs kiddies.
i always feel so lucky when reading stories like this. i abused (few times a week few at a time) for a few years, it was an insane time. i was able to quit no problem, and i don't have any long term effects. very lucky. but alcohol on the other hand, that is my achilles heel
whether it is mdma, lsd, alcohol or weed, you can't abuse these drugs!! if you want to keep enjoying their effects on your life, then do it responsibly.
thanks for sharing, glad you are on a healthy road now.
long story short, don't abuse drugs kiddies.
i always feel so lucky when reading stories like this. i abused (few times a week few at a time) for a few years, it was an insane time. i was able to quit no problem, and i don't have any long term effects. very lucky. but alcohol on the other hand, that is my achilles heel
whether it is mdma, lsd, alcohol or weed, you can't abuse these drugs!! if you want to keep enjoying their effects on your life, then do it responsibly.
thanks for sharing, glad you are on a healthy road now.
awaken88 said:
No one can *tell* you to slow down and only you can take ownership of your life
If you can't go clubbing without it than take a break from clubbing for a while. Try to locate a comedy club or perhaps local plays or musicals. Take your friends with you to (secretly) give them a break as well.
The key is to change your routine and try something new.
Hmmm. Thats a tough one. Be more descriptive about yourself. Who are you and what do you stand for?
Covered that already...
Thats easy for you to say...
My head wasn't (that) fucked up either - during the first few years...
Later,
GrabHold
awaken88
Bluelighter
GrabHold said:
oh, im not that ugly etc, more im quite.. i cant just jump up and talk to people, if im around people i dont really know then i'll just sit there...
whereas if im off chops i'll chat to anyone, if alcohol done the same thing for me i'd just drink.. but i enjoy being really social as i never was threwout highschool, i just sat there etc..
one thing i've noticed now thou, is since i've taken E i've been more confidendent and self-esteme has gone up... anyone else find that?
Tenchi
Bluelighter
awaken88 said:
Yes, I've found that I have higher self esteem, and increased confidence. This has actually lead me to look after myself better, both physically and emotionally. Before I started taking e I was 217Lbs and I was pretty ashamed of how I looked. Just over a year later, I'm now 155Lbs and I look and feel healthier.
I'm eating better, and just generally taking much better care of myself. However, I stress that my e intake has been moderate, using once a month usually, with a couple of 2 month breaks here and there. It's not a drug that you can hammer on a weekly basis, because sooner or later, it's all gonna come back to haunt you.
awaken88 said:
Age, Sex, Race, etc...?
Yes, ecstasy is great at breaking down barriers and removing inhabitions. When I used I enjoyed the "super-ego" I experienced. I tried to grab on to those precious moments with both hands so I could learn from the experience and incorporate it into my everyday life.
---
You and I share the same symptoms. Anxiety caused by social situations. It's not that you don't have anything to say - it just doesn't seem to come out right - and you're afraid how other people with judge you. Right?
High School was a disaster for me. I managed to graduate from a graduating class with more than 750 people - without a single "best-friend". I never found my niche.
I joined the US Military and through my experiences - built a tremendous amount of confidence in myself. I didn't like where my country was heading - leadership wise - so I exited the military in 2000. I count my blessings daily...believe me...
When I left the service I wasn't prepared for how I would feel. I left a life behind - as well as a image - front - facemask if you will.
So there I was. Just me again. No facades and nothing to hide behind - just me. I held on to my confidence for a while but I then started slipping into the way I felt in High School.
A friend turned me on to Ecstasy. Yep - I agree with you. I did not have any issues talking to people again. I loved the way I felt about myself - I had become an extrovert and was - truely - in love with myself for the first time. Did you notice anything here? It was all about me - myself and I...
When I could no longer control my urges - Ecstasy, for me, turned me into a nerotic - self-indulgent / self-centered asshole. I was completly impulsive (emotion as well as shopping habits)...
Sorry for that rant....
Long story short. I was finally prescribed SSRIs that combat anxiety and depression. My memory is still shot to shit after the prolonged period of drug use but I am happy to report that I no longer suffer from anxiety or depression.
I should have seen a therapist a long time ago. It was hard - I'm a dude - I didn't want to admit any weaknesses.
I no longer need illicit drugs to fit into any situations.
Your mileage may vary.
GrabHold
awaken88
Bluelighter
Tenchi said:
Yeah, i find im healthier...and looking better..the girls tell me so too, and mates i havn't seen in ages.
And also, i dont get the depression, or anxiety etc when coming down from a pill. I'll just be tired and head sometimes spins.
I Love my life at the moment...was crap for quite awhile, but now its great going out every weekend..
awaken88
Bluelighter
GrabHold said:
19 in a month :D/Male/White
Im athletic build, 6'4 which i hate.. i cant dance when im not on drugs because i tower over everyone, and it feels like everyones watching me lol..
awaken88 said:
I'm 6'2" so I hear what you're saying. Being tall can be a curse - especially if you are prone to paranoia or anxiety.
I'm much older - 34 - and I am a very good looking man - on the outside. I was such a bad dressed guy (growing up in the 80's - it wasn't hard...), terrible haircut - I always leaned my face on my hands so I had constant pimples through-out school. And I hit 6'2" in high school but had two left feet so I couldn't play sports... Like I said, school was a disaster for me.
I didn't even go to my prom... The depression was pretty severe.
------------
I guess I have what some would call - "Ugly Duckling Syndrome". The funny thing is I married an absolutely stunning woman - we were both 22 - and she has helped me overcome so many obstacles in my life it's crazy. And, she put up with my asshole self once I came into my own...
We have been married for 13 years this year.
Finding the right woman will boost your confidence greater than any drug will. But - I do / did need SSRIs. I just didn't see the signs in time. I had to battle a severe drug addiction that nearly ruined many lives.
-----------
You are young, bright, good looking and determined. Now all you need is talent in something. You have nothing but life ahead of you. Some of it will be good and some of it will be bad. Learn how to deal with situations on your terms - not under the influence.
GrabHold
Le Junk
Bluelighter
Your post on ecstasy nearly rivals my post on cocaine, "need serious help quitting cocaine, anyone find a way too" thread. That along with my "20 year veteran of ecstasy.....any quesions" thread. I'm 42 years old, have a wonderfully drop dead gorgeous wife, and am also a reluctant addict. I've been doing ecstasy since it was legal, and cocaine around the same time. That's nearly 25 years now! The honeymoon stages of both have long since past, but yet I still hammer away at it like this next tab or bag of blow is gonna be "the" one. The fun is long gone and all that is left is the negatives. I finally broke away from cocaine nearly 50 days ago now (huge step for a former daily user!), and feel great. I do still continue to do ecstasy on a very limited basis, but like you, when I do, I beat the hell out of it. 6-10 tabs in one evening leaving me totally retarded, stomach cramps, disassociated, paranoid etc. The lovey dovey, touchy feely days are long, long gone, but yet I continue like a freakin' junkie. I've experienced, and still experience all of those negative thingsyou do. Checklist for those two items at the grocery store.....you betcha! What did I have for lunch today......I can't remember. Sad, but true. To say that ecstasy doesn't cause long term brain damage could only be said by those that haven't done it long enough. Everything you described couldn't be more accurate, my old school friend.
Anyway, I want you to know that nearly everything you said, I could relate too. The best of times, leading to the worst of times. It's a slow downward spiral that will take you over without you even knowing it, well, at first anyway. At least both you and I realized the extent of our problem before we lost absolutely everything. Coke was my true Devil. Ecstasy has always been controllable, but the amount I use when doing it is nothing less than frieghtening.
I'm glad we both have great women in our lives to stay by our sides and support our fomer junkie asses. We're very lucky, but you already know that I'm sure. Be thankful for everything you have and remember, life is the true beauty. Drugs are the Devils work. I wish you the very best my friend. We'll both be just fine now!
Le Junk
P.S. Please take the time to read my above mentioned threads as I've done yours. I think you'll find the similarities uncanny!
Anyway, I want you to know that nearly everything you said, I could relate too. The best of times, leading to the worst of times. It's a slow downward spiral that will take you over without you even knowing it, well, at first anyway. At least both you and I realized the extent of our problem before we lost absolutely everything. Coke was my true Devil. Ecstasy has always been controllable, but the amount I use when doing it is nothing less than frieghtening.
I'm glad we both have great women in our lives to stay by our sides and support our fomer junkie asses. We're very lucky, but you already know that I'm sure. Be thankful for everything you have and remember, life is the true beauty. Drugs are the Devils work. I wish you the very best my friend. We'll both be just fine now!
Le Junk
P.S. Please take the time to read my above mentioned threads as I've done yours. I think you'll find the similarities uncanny!
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Le Junk said:
Dude the similarities are uncanny.
For me quitting Ecstasy wasn't all that hard. I did not have any physcial withdrawl pains telling me to use again much like a Heroin addict or I would imagine a Coke addict or Alcoholicmust endure.
In my opinion my recovery has been much worse...
I feel much better now that I'm on SSRI's. I can participate in public events - and I'm a youth soccer, baseball and basketball coach. I don't feel that "out-of-place" feeling anymore. It doesn't hurt that I have definetly improved in looks as I get older too. I am lucky in that respect!
Honestly, I still desire to use the drug but don't out of fear knowing that I am an addict and would absolutely abuse it again if given the chance. I have never had more money than I do now. I loved each moment I rolled but can't remember more than half of my life. Was it worth it - NO!
I hope everyone on these boards reads both of your posts and also my initial post. There are lessons to be learned there from all who read them. Both you and I are long time drug users. Who better to get input from them folks that have been there?
I do tend to sound preachy and I'm trying not to do that. As someone responded to one of my posts "...you can only lead a horse to water..." was outstanding and caused me to stop and think about my purpose here.
My purpose is simple. To be a sounding board for people that think they have a "problem" and offer support and sound advice.
Thank you for your kind words and I'll see you around these boards!
GrabHold
Le Junk
Bluelighter
GrabHold said:
My pleasure, and likewise..............
Le Junk