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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The 2025 Recovery & Social Thread

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Sorry for being a little absence here. I've been doing well. Just been busy with work, doctor, therapist dentist appointments & meetings.
Trying to catch up on my health and dental work & it's all been a pain. One of the doctors that I saw today bitched about the amount of Suboxone I take (3x 8mg a day), & honestly I don't take all 3 most days, I just like having that 1 or 2 extra for when I might need it later on. Though the doctor was bitchy and spoke about my psychiatrist appointment coming up towards the end of the month, I'm thinking that they might knock it down. If they try some shit like that right at first then I'll probably go find another doctor. It pretty common now to find Suboxone doctors.
There's some pretty severe weather that is supposed to be going on Saturday, and it's kinda got me spooked some, and I've got to work. So I just hope and pray that it won't like blow me away!

Hope everyone has been doing well, been thinking about you all. ❤️
 
What's up guys I'm actually really considering trying to get back into recovery. I had 4 years before most recent relapse. I actually made my account on here when I relapsed.

I was wondering what you guys do besides support group meetings. I usually go to the meetings until people piss me off then I start to not go.

I am diagnosed adhd and aspd (not joking) so isolate alot and hate people telling to do shit lol. I know like your supposed go deep with AA or NA and like find a recovery community.

I tend attract drug seekers and people that want to screw me over. I'm not going to rehab again, but if any recovered people have an insight onto like what there spiritual daily routine stuff is I'm all ears.
 
TheGyattDamnRizzler said:
What's up guys I'm actually really considering trying to get back into recovery. I had 4 years before most recent relapse. I actually made my account on here when I relapsed.

I was wondering what you guys do besides support group meetings. I usually go to the meetings until people piss me off then I start to not go.

I am diagnosed adhd and aspd (not joking) so isolate alot and hate people telling to do shit lol. I know like your supposed go deep with AA or NA and like find a recovery community.

I tend attract drug seekers and people that want to screw me over. I'm not going to rehab again, but if any recovered people have an insight onto like what there spiritual daily routine stuff is I'm all ears.
Click to expand...

You’ll encounter a lot of really stupid people but the more you are honest and bare your souls to people the more likely you are to find a few ppl you really connect with.

I’d reccomend forcing yourself to do the shit you don’t want to be it sharing, reading, attending, or calling.

It’s easy to get fed up with the meetings and think it’s a bunch of bullshit and the people done really care…and maybe they don’t…but is there a better option than tricking ourselves into falling for it all? I don’t thinks there is
 
TheGyattDamnRizzler said:
What's up guys I'm actually really considering trying to get back into recovery. I had 4 years before most recent relapse. I actually made my account on here when I relapsed.

I was wondering what you guys do besides support group meetings. I usually go to the meetings until people piss me off then I start to not go.

I am diagnosed adhd and aspd (not joking) so isolate alot and hate people telling to do shit lol. I know like your supposed go deep with AA or NA and like find a recovery community.

I tend attract drug seekers and people that want to screw me over. I'm not going to rehab again, but if any recovered people have an insight onto like what there spiritual daily routine stuff is I'm all ears.
Click to expand...
For me personally I think therapy helped the most in the long run. And regular exercise. I isolate a lot too. Video games helped get my mind off gear.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
You’ll encounter a lot of really stupid people but the more you are honest and bare your souls to people the more likely you are to find a few ppl you really connect with.

I’d reccomend forcing yourself to do the shit you don’t want to be it sharing, reading, attending, or calling.

It’s easy to get fed up with the meetings and think it’s a bunch of bullshit and the people done really care…and maybe they don’t…but is there a better option than tricking ourselves into falling for it all? I don’t thinks there is
Click to expand...
I usually share and read. I usually don't make it to like being on a board or anything but I try to be active when I do it cus I'm trying to convince myself that I'm trying to do it.

Typically like Idk why, I usually stick NA obviously. There's always like weird psycho personal drama and like us weird crap that I'm not going to repeat on here. Then there is like social intimidation to be more active and do more
because "I care about you and I'm so worried.". I imitate human emotion so I'm not fully expressing myself truely ever. It seems exploitative, I would like to help people but not through NA or AA I think it's a corrupt system that breeds small mindedness.

Do you guys feel like you need to be around people or interact with people. I got out of prison in 2022 and I was sober and isolated basically the whole time and was fine (I relapsed oct 2024). I would go to meetings when I was going. Recovery groups always talk about isolation being satan or whatever. My brain turns into mush when I have to talk to people. I think you have to like have a purpose in life to stay sober. That purpose is found through the recovery groups that I hate because they can get there shit together ever and people are like promoting a race war in the recovery community in my local area it's like are you people all dumb I know that's mean but Jesus man.

I blame society I guess lol.
I'm not saying I'm above it I just don't care about it.
 
thatmf said:
For me personally I think therapy helped the most in the long run. And regular exercise. I isolate a lot too. Video games helped get my mind off gear.
Click to expand...
I would like to see a therapist, I feel like it would be to depressing. I can talk shit on here a little bit but if you were to like sit me down and ask me about my life Idk what I would really say man. I don't know how to comprehend or how to feel about it. I don't know if its good or bad. People say that I'm lying say that but how can you judge life ethically? I've also blacked out alot of my childhood like can't remember can't go back at all. Every therapist want's to time travel back in time like there hasn't been another human break through discovered in the past 100 years.
 
Yeah I am ailing and medicine helps me get up and function. And try to do. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I just keep getting weaker. And tired. I'm sorry to sound so down. But I really am. So many people live a healthy life with no

medicating.

I am getting weaker and I don't feel well. And medicine is the only thing that helps me. I feel like, or I am stuck between that place.

My immune system got messed up and they said it was not from anything that I did and that it is something that

just happens. Hmmmm.

And I hurt so I keep taking drugs to help. Umm I might try fentanyl, or that's what I feel like doing. Or I need therapy

( to get drugs ).

And I apologize for my rant and disturbing trauma of faults . I just wanted a painless healthy life.

But I am just getting weaker and the medication helps me get up at least.

I just get real tired. And bad tired. Medication makes me able to try real hard again and to keep being able to move around

and do things. And now I still can but I am too tired.

And I have been having trouble a lot now currently with food. I'm just too tired to care. I'm trying to force food down somehow

and I do with energy drinks. And sometimes I think that there are some bad solar flares or something coming down or electromagnetic

forces that are affecting everyone to be agitated with an ill mentality lately and at certain times more than others. But yeah like something controlling the bad behavior of everyone all at once.

Just bad waves from the atmosphere or the tilt in the wobble. Maybe the weather ! And sometimes I even feel like air has poison in it because my

immune system is so compromised. And I did try to eat so healthy all of my life as much as possible.

Now I just really have a habit of wanting processed food with chemicals. And wanting unhealthy instead of healthy.

So I have to fight depression too because of it. And well .... the rest of the world.

Maybe I can make some kind of compromise and be on a valium for the rest of my life.

I'm sorry for Posting about drugs as medicating. I'm sick though.

It's a daily struggle for those that don't know anything about it though. Sorry for being so focused on medication.

Especially the opioid or Norco relief. That is my necessity to function and is the cycle that continues. And is so sad.

Not even frustration anymore at this point. Only sad. I hope I make it. At least I get some relief from medication

at times. Sorry for being so down. I just am. Weak.

I can still run and play with my dog. And move boulders around and smash things with them. But I'm fckd.

Smash whiskey bottles and toss trash and landfill. I have head problems and cramp up all over without my

medication sometimes and people give me more real headaches with their stupidity and their disorderliness.

And everything else and scammers a lot too.

I'm so sorry for complaining. I just feel .... like it is in the air all over the place and I just feel like I am

losing faith in healthy behavior at times.

I'm just sayin. Be careful. And stay Healthy. And as possible.

I'm going to keep trying to eat eggs and Yogurt with Heavy Cream on top. Whole Milk type.

So keep trying to avoid toxins and keep your body healthy. Good things will come from health and

recovery I am sure.

Oh the doctor said I will never get better. So fck this.

But there was a time when I couldn't walk but I did get better.

Silly doctors. They tried to help too. It's true. And they did ...

with medicine. And now they can't prescribe and are governed. And I can't seem to

find a private doctor. They all seem to be through a system.

A health system network. I have heard of a few some that are private

but they are strictly homeopathic. Hmmm.

Anyway everything goes downhill eventually and you just have to

fight to get back up. Recover and try to be Healthy. good night. 🌙
 
kiely said:
Yeah I am ailing and medicine helps me get up and function. And try to do. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I just keep getting weaker. And tired. I'm sorry to sound so down. But I really am. So many people live a healthy life with no

medicating.

I am getting weaker and I don't feel well. And medicine is the only thing that helps me. I feel like, or I am stuck between that place.

My immune system got messed up and they said it was not from anything that I did and that it is something that

just happens. Hmmmm.

And I hurt so I keep taking drugs to help. Umm I might try fentanyl, or that's what I feel like doing. Or I need therapy

( to get drugs ).

And I apologize for my rant and disturbing trauma of faults . I just wanted a painless healthy life.

But I am just getting weaker and the medication helps me get up at least.

I just get real tired. And bad tired. Medication makes me able to try real hard again and to keep being able to move around

and do things. And now I still can but I am too tired.

And I have been having trouble a lot now currently with food. I'm just too tired to care. I'm trying to force food down somehow

and I do with energy drinks. And sometimes I think that there are some bad solar flares or something coming down or electromagnetic

forces that are affecting everyone to be agitated with an ill mentality lately and at certain times more than others. But yeah like something controlling the bad behavior of everyone all at once.

Just bad waves from the atmosphere or the tilt in the wobble. Maybe the weather ! And sometimes I even feel like air has poison in it because my

immune system is so compromised. And I did try to eat so healthy all of my life as much as possible.

Now I just really have a habit of wanting processed food with chemicals. And wanting unhealthy instead of healthy.

So I have to fight depression too because of it. And well .... the rest of the world.

Maybe I can make some kind of compromise and be on a valium for the rest of my life.

I'm sorry for Posting about drugs as medicating. I'm sick though.

It's a daily struggle for those that don't know anything about it though. Sorry for being so focused on medication.

Especially the opioid or Norco relief. That is my necessity to function and is the cycle that continues. And is so sad.

Not even frustration anymore at this point. Only sad. I hope I make it. At least I get some relief from medication

at times. Sorry for being so down. I just am. Weak.

I can still run and play with my dog. And move boulders around and smash things with them. But I'm fckd.

Smash whiskey bottles and toss trash and landfill. I have head problems and cramp up all over without my

medication sometimes and people give me more real headaches with their stupidity and their disorderliness.

And everything else and scammers a lot too.

I'm so sorry for complaining. I just feel .... like it is in the air all over the place and I just feel like I am

losing faith in healthy behavior at times.

I'm just sayin. Be careful. And stay Healthy. And as possible.

I'm going to keep trying to eat eggs and Yogurt with Heavy Cream on top. Whole Milk type.

So keep trying to avoid toxins and keep your body healthy. Good things will come from health and

recovery I am sure.

Oh the doctor said I will never get better. So fck this.

But there was a time when I couldn't walk but I did get better.

Silly doctors. They tried to help too. It's true. And they did ...

with medicine. And now they can't prescribe and are governed. And I can't seem to

find a private doctor. They all seem to be through a system.

A health system network. I have heard of a few some that are private

but they are strictly homeopathic. Hmmm.

Anyway everything goes downhill eventually and you just have to

fight to get back up. Recover and try to be Healthy. good night. 🌙
Click to expand...
That's rough miss kiely being dependent on pain killers is rough my grandma had arthritis. Honestly if your medically perscribed and don't totally abuse it you can live a pretty normal life, even though AA people would not say your sober lol. Painkillers are legitimate medication regardless of how oxy was distributed.

I personally just don't want to get arrested again or like go Awal and be full blown homeless. I haven't been that bad but I haven't been like good either.

Stay strong miss kiely, there's stuff out there that is good. You should try to do like passive exercising, not full force exercising like real light. It could help you re strengthen some things. Idk how you are physically though.
 
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yes, i'm passive now. very.

kind words even work.

thank you so much.

we have to all be strong in our own way. so much 👍
TheGyattDamnRizzler said:
That's rough miss kiely being dependent on pain killers is rough my grandma had arthritis. Honestly if your medically perscribed and don't totally abuse it you can live a pretty normal life, even though AA people would not say your sober lol. Painkillers are legitimate medication regardless of how oxy was distributed.

I personally just don't want to get arrested again or like go Awal and be full blown homeless. I haven't been that bad but I haven't been like good either.

Stay strong miss kiely, there's stuff out there that is good. You should try to do like passive exercising, not full force exercising like real light. It could help you re strengthen some things. Idk how you are physically though.
Click to expand...
 
Hey @kiely .
Sounds like some true poetic shit going on rn in your life. I will say that doing fentanyl won't solve any problems. You don't even get high on the shit. It just makes you tired, like you took a strong dose of Seroquel, but then it turns on you when you can't get any sleep at all until you use more fentanyl. So say good bye to good night sleeps :/.

I suggest seeing a therapist. Someone to talk with about things. They are pretty helpful for me. Even if you don't have insurance, you can get on a payment plan type of deal where you only pay like $20 per session.
Maybe you can look into Suboxone or something. I hear that it's pretty easy to get a prescription now. & Honestly, it helps a hella lot with triggers to want to get high on other opiates. I take subs and I'm proud, because I'm doing something different today in my recovery.
 
kiely said:
yes, i'm passive now. very.
Click to expand...
Ds said:
Hey @kiely .
Click to expand...

Yes, I try to exercise. Not the kind w the cross.

Thank you for your words and your good intentions and your kindness.

I remember feeling really depressed when I wrote that.

I think therapy never hurt anyone or anything in the majority of situations.

And if you eventually want support and or help maybe.

Having a good therapist or counselor and the right one I am sure can be a great support and community. I do have someone that I talk to. Not a therapist but
an ear. And me too.

Thank you for listening and understanding and offering options and more
awareness with your good posts.

I get really depressed. I promise to try to feel better as best as I can.

Thank you. You have a lot of knowledge and I appreciate you so much.
You genuinely have a nice heart and are so helpful too.
Thx. Awe that was so nice. And I know you are for real strong. 👍 Really.
 
I think it's good to have atleast someone that you can talk to freely about shit. It could be a therapist but I like to have a friend IRL that I can talk to about life shit and they wouldn't judge me or try to tough love me or some shit.
I've developed a couple of people that are like that. & honestly I feel like I get more help having them in my corner then paying a therapist. Not saying that therapist are bad or anything but I enjoy talking to my friends.
One of my friends is an online friend that I met here on BL and even though he doesn't really BL anymore, It's still pretty cool that we continue to talk to this day, nearly everyday we will text back and forth & honestly it feels good to have someone that can read what i'm going through and respond.

Today is my birthday and was able to meet my mother and sister for lunch. It went pretty well. Afterwards I went and bought a new geekbar vape, and did some shopping at the dollar tree.
Now I'm playing with my silly circle friends on teamfortress 2. It's nice to have friends in that game because they don't know shit about me unless what I tell them, so they all like me for what I do on the server and being friendly and silly.
Maybe having a network online something like a game does help a lot with depression.
I still go to meetings, and speak with people in recovery, hell I live in a halfway house/oxford house, so its good to be around people that are doing the right thing.
 
Ds said:
I think it's good to have atleast someone that you can talk to freely about shit. It could be a therapist but I like to have a friend IRL that I can talk to about life shit and they wouldn't judge me or try to tough love me or some shit.
I've developed a couple of people that are like that. & honestly I feel like I get more help having them in my corner then paying a therapist. Not saying that therapist are bad or anything but I enjoy talking to my friends.
One of my friends is an online friend that I met here on BL and even though he doesn't really BL anymore, It's still pretty cool that we continue to talk to this day, nearly everyday we will text back and forth & honestly it feels good to have someone that can read what i'm going through and respond.

Today is my birthday and was able to meet my mother and sister for lunch. It went pretty well. Afterwards I went and bought a new geekbar vape, and did some shopping at the dollar tree.
Now I'm playing with my silly circle friends on teamfortress 2. It's nice to have friends in that game because they don't know shit about me unless what I tell them, so they all like me for what I do on the server and being friendly and silly.
Maybe having a network online something like a game does help a lot with depression.
I still go to meetings, and speak with people in recovery, hell I live in a halfway house/oxford house, so its good to be around people that are doing the right thing.
Click to expand...

Happy birthday my friend. :)
 
Ds said:
I think it's good to have atleast someone that you can talk to freely about shit. It could be a therapist but I like to have a friend IRL that I can talk to about life shit and they wouldn't judge me or try to tough love me or some shit.
I've developed a couple of people that are like that. & honestly I feel like I get more help having them in my corner then paying a therapist. Not saying that therapist are bad or anything but I enjoy talking to my friends.
One of my friends is an online friend that I met here on BL and even though he doesn't really BL anymore, It's still pretty cool that we continue to talk to this day, nearly everyday we will text back and forth & honestly it feels good to have someone that can read what i'm going through and respond.

Today is my birthday and was able to meet my mother and sister for lunch. It went pretty well. Afterwards I went and bought a new geekbar vape, and did some shopping at the dollar tree.
Now I'm playing with my silly circle friends on teamfortress 2. It's nice to have friends in that game because they don't know shit about me unless what I tell them, so they all like me for what I do on the server and being friendly and silly.
Maybe having a network online something like a game does help a lot with depression.
I still go to meetings, and speak with people in recovery, hell I live in a halfway house/oxford house, so its good to be around people that are doing the right thing.
Click to expand...
Happy birthday! Yeah good friends are rare but awesome that you can have an outlet with them and TF2. Man I loved that game.

Sounds like you've got a good support network going on. Good stuff, keep at it! :)

and @kiely
I hope you find a balance between passive and happy. It does exist somewhere. I don't know where but I know you'll find it. Be good to yourself and I hope things get better for you.
 
I relapsed on methadone after like 6 weeks off it guys.

I am in so much pain. Stabbing chest pain, can’t even swallow anymore. Doctors don’t know what the fuck is wrong and it will be a month before I see a specialist that will tell me nothing is wrong.

EDIT: even a highish dose of methadone after being clean for 6 weeks did absolutely nothing for my pain. I feel it having an effect, but it doesn’t touch this pain at all. I’ve never in my life experienced pain not responding to an opioid like this. I am terrified and defeated


Like I’ve had pain that was so severe that an opioid wasn’t strong enough for it…but this is different. It isn’t extremely severe and methadone is powerfully so it should take the edge off….literally nothing.
 
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