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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

Hey y'all good to hear good news and everything from you guys :)

I've been doing really well, did a pre-req course and passed (won't be specific because this is bluelight) and had my orientation for something I've wanted to do for years. Start next week, so just trying to savour every last minute of lazy time before I go back to school :D


Edit: last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster, mostly good but with some serious dips in mood. And tonight I got triggered by something messed up that happened to me and had a full-on flashback. Not fun going through it again.
proud of you & bigups on passing the pre req. you should celebrate with whatever makes you super happy man. i’m dealing with a tooth infection today which worried me. i’ve been in pain the past week but no pain today, then i looked in the mirror and my left jaw was swollen. my dentist is closed today sat and sun but mum had some antibiotics i can take until i can get seen monday thank god. i was really bummed about thinking i had to go to the ER for amoxicillin but i’m all good:)
 
I just got carded buying 40 pieces of generic nicotine gum for$15, it literally would be cheaper not to quit, and it was on sale and tastes awful. And it was the cheaper store brand. Mint, really I feel liked I licked an astray used for Newports.
 
took a few xans tonight to celebrate my birthday. nothing special, plenty to last awhile too. not too worried, took 3.5mg alpraz tonight to relax and enjoy myself.
not meetings myself up as i don’t consder it a lapse or relapse. if it’s not fent i canvusually responsibly dabble with other drugs so it’s a safety net for anxiety down days
 
I just got carded buying 40 pieces of generic nicotine gum for$15, it literally would be cheaper not to quit, and it was on sale and tastes awful. And it was the cheaper store brand. Mint, really I feel liked I licked an astray used for Newports.
Yeesh! Have you tried vaping?
 
took a few xans tonight to celebrate my birthday. nothing special, plenty to last awhile too. not too worried, took 3.5mg alpraz tonight to relax and enjoy myself.
not meetings myself up as i don’t consder it a lapse or relapse. if it’s not fent i canvusually responsibly dabble with other drugs so it’s a safety net for anxiety down days
Happy birthday :D

Edit: That's a pretty heavy dose! I'd be on the floor 😂😺
 
Hola friends,
I’m still around but have been kinda stuck in a PTSD vortex but trying my best .. just going to keep trying & not give up
Hope everyone’s doing okay today
Big hugs 💜

Hope you're OK @AngelsandFairiesarereal . It's not easy sometimes but to struggle and never give up is in our nature. Hang on in there. Take plenty of time for self care. Make sure you are eating and sleeping as well as you can. Get a walk in the fresh air each day. I know it's not easy, took me 10 days to get back to that after my last relapse.
Take care of yourself 💙

took a few xans tonight to celebrate my birthday. nothing special, plenty to last awhile too. not too worried, took 3.5mg alpraz tonight to relax and enjoy myself.
not meetings myself up as i don’t consder it a lapse or relapse. if it’s not fent i canvusually responsibly dabble with other drugs so it’s a safety net for anxiety down days

Happy birthday @tokayeahok . Hope you enjoy your day my friend. 🙂
 
rh
Hope you're OK @AngelsandFairiesarereal . It's not easy sometimes but to struggle and never give up is in our nature. Hang on in there. Take plenty of time for self care. Make sure you are eating and sleeping as well as you can. Get a walk in the fresh air each day. I know it's not easy, took me 10 days to get back to that after my last relapse.
Take care of yourself 💙



Happy birthday @tokayeahok . Hope you enjoy your day my friend. 🙂
thank you, it’s not until november 7th :)
 
Happy birthday :D

Edit: That's a pretty heavy dose! I'd be on the floor 😂😺
luckily i can handle a good many alprazolams because of my previous stint with them 2015-2017. heavy doses then, as i was taking 10-20mg a day.


my birthday is on the 7th, this was just the only time i had to score them since they’re real pharma bars. i got lucky with the timing working out. but yeah i’m all good :) slept like a baby.
 
Well that's me been back exercising in a proper programme now for 7 days. Push pull legs. Just light with the dumbells and a cardio session on the exercise bike every other day. Back walking the dog daily. Feel a thousand times better than i did a few weeks ago.

Just currently watching netflix and on the exercise bike doing a 10k. Feel like i am back on the right path. Eating clean and sleeping well at night.

This is probably the cleanest i've been considering i've been completely sober, no weed, no meds, nothing since i sobered up from the last fuck up.

I'm still in two minds whether i'd be better with taking pregablin or something for the peripheral neuropathy i have. But i would like a solid diagnosis ideally first with the medication coming from the doctor rather than the black market. I definitely felt a whole lot better all round when i was still taking pregablin, stronger & more agile, less sensitive to certain foods, better sleep at night, better appetite too. Felt so shit when i came off them though it has definitely made me think twice about it all. Like i said already probably best to wait for advice from a healthcare professional.
 
had a brilliant day today. set up my macbook further for music and almost finished an engineering/mix master for a client.

had a meeting tonight which went really well & made a new pal. ate too many reese cups again today plus a giant bowl of ramen. i did walk 6 miles today though to compensate for the candy lmao. anyways things are honestly really well. no complaints here
Forgot to reply to this!!! I miss making music and remixes but most of the times that I did do it (even with mates) it involved meth. So big trigger for me. Also I deleted most of my plug ins from paranoia...bleh! Good on you though 👍

Also walks are epic. I've made my daily route about 5 minutes longer and it's way more enjoyable. Gonna make it a bit longer time permitting.
 
Well that's me been back exercising in a proper programme now for 7 days. Push pull legs. Just light with the dumbells and a cardio session on the exercise bike every other day. Back walking the dog daily. Feel a thousand times better than i did a few weeks ago.

Just currently watching netflix and on the exercise bike doing a 10k. Feel like i am back on the right path. Eating clean and sleeping well at night.

This is probably the cleanest i've been considering i've been completely sober, no weed, no meds, nothing since i sobered up from the last fuck up.

I'm still in two minds whether i'd be better with taking pregablin or something for the peripheral neuropathy i have. But i would like a solid diagnosis ideally first with the medication coming from the doctor rather than the black market. I definitely felt a whole lot better all round when i was still taking pregablin, stronger & more agile, less sensitive to certain foods, better sleep at night, better appetite too. Felt so shit when i came off them though it has definitely made me think twice about it all. Like i said already probably best to wait for advice from a healthcare professional.
If prebab is Lyrica, does it have same withdrawal and does make you real hungry as it's little brother gabapentin. I only ask because you seem so concerned about your weight and fitness now. And I was going to say that if it does the same that you might want to take them 30 minutes to an hour before a meal. Gabapentin gives me the munchies worse than weed. And I really eat a lot more, but I am under weight so it is not an issue. More than one person on another thread talked about withdrawal from gabapentin( yes I know you said pregab) but that may have been from large doses as it builds tolerance fast, faster than almost anything. You and I have different issues. I got sick and lost a lot of weight. Mostly muscle mass( which pisses my lazy ass off) I had finally filled out, then my drinking caught up with me and lost my appetite and I have always had a high metabolism. It makes me mad that if I never drank and had worked out like I did as a teenager I would be a solid and muscular man.
Both my parents were athletic when young and now it is too late and I have no energy, desire to do anything and especially work out. My mom got rid of my weight set and bench before a move many years ago.( in the late 90's). Too old and brain destroyed, no point, I have almost no body fat. My doctor is pleased cause I have a normal weight for my height, but I know I should be bigger and it annoys me greatly. It is nice to see that you care about fitness and have energy. Besides any legal issues, getting it from a doctor is a lot safer, probably cheaper and less temptation too, possibly purchase other stuff, less therapeutic stuff. Good luck, Bro
 
Tokayeahok, happy almost birthday. November is a bad month for me it is my dead mom's birthday month, and the month she and my little sister died. Leaves are falling and my nice riding mower with like 70 hours, got oil leak (un known to me) and engine died. Would cost about $2200+ to fix, on a mower that is $2500- $3000 new. I hope your toe gets better and you find a girlfriend. Good luck. Bro
 
If prebab is Lyrica, does it have same withdrawal and does make you real hungry as it's little brother gabapentin. I only ask because you seem so concerned about your weight and fitness now. And I was going to say that if it does the same that you might want to take them 30 minutes to an hour before a meal. Gabapentin gives me the munchies worse than weed. And I really eat a lot more, but I am under weight so it is not an issue. More than one person on another thread talked about withdrawal from gabapentin( yes I know you said pregab) but that may have been from large doses as it builds tolerance fast, faster than almost anything. You and I have different issues. I got sick and lost a lot of weight. Mostly muscle mass( which pisses my lazy ass off) I had finally filled out, then my drinking caught up with me and lost my appetite and I have always had a high metabolism. It makes me mad that if I never drank and had worked out like I did as a teenager I would be a solid and muscular man.
Both my parents were athletic when young and now it is too late and I have no energy, desire to do anything and especially work out. My mom got rid of my weight set and bench before a move many years ago.( in the late 90's). Too old and brain destroyed, no point, I have almost no body fat. My doctor is pleased cause I have a normal weight for my height, but I know I should be bigger and it annoys me greatly. It is nice to see that you care about fitness and have energy. Besides any legal issues, getting it from a doctor is a lot safer, probably cheaper and less temptation too, possibly purchase other stuff, less therapeutic stuff. Good luck, Bro

Yeah man the withdrawals when i quit it after using too many days to wean myself off weed were absolutely savage. A few nights of insomnia followed by no motivation and pain all over for a week or so.

It definitely did give me the munchies aswell. And made my appetite disappear like a puff of smoke when i stopped using it.

That said when i was still on it helped immensely with my fitness. Was able to really get into my weight lifting and eating more calories. Also felt like a better REM sleep if that makes sense. And i had less pain after training too.

Recently i seem to be suffering a bit from the pains all over. Numb feet at night, chest pains, pain in my right arm and both hands, etc. It's very annoying, and i know most of these symptoms would go away if i started taking pregablin again. That said i have no idea of the long term effects of the pregablin, or would that in itself shorten my life expectancy. I wish i could find more information about it all.
 
The symptoms you have may actually be worth the side effects. My fear was, is that they give its little brother Gabapentin is given to people with a lot of different issues. My dad who was diabetic was prescribed gabapentin for his numb feet. If you have a good doctor then he may perscribe it, and it may help. Pregab is similar to Gabapentin and another name for it is Neurontin, or something similar. What you describe may be neurological and one or the other may help you. Like I said, talk to your doctor, because this may really help, I was just nervous because they prescribe its little brother for so many things and the side effects, mainly the withdrawal and tolerance issues, which are much worse if you are using it to get a buzz or potentiate(mis) other drugs. Definitely, this is not a drug to misuse, but used correctly it may help you. Strangely enough, I took so gabapentin last night and I slept better than I had in a long time. I took it so I could eat.
My advice is too describe the problems you have and see his suggestions, then if you feel comfortable enough with your doctor, and he hasn't suggested pregab or Lyrica(name they use here), then mention it. If he suggests it first, say sure I will give it a try. I don't trust doctors. If he doesn't then tell him how pregab or Lyrica was mentioned too by a friend whose dad was a doctor. If that don't work, as a last resort admit you took that advice and tried it and it helped. Just be slick about how you do it. I don't know how UK doctors are, here a lot of them can be real dickheads. Good luck and stay healthy.
 
Hope you're OK @AngelsandFairiesarereal . It's not easy sometimes but to struggle and never give up is in our nature. Hang on in there. Take plenty of time for self care. Make sure you are eating and sleeping as well as you can. Get a walk in the fresh air each day. I know it's not easy, took me 10 days to get back to that after my last relapse.
Take care of yourself 💙
Thank you so much
I hope you’re doing well as I’m writing this
Big hug to you 💜🌺
 
Just had a gram worth of shroom juice. I wasn't sure if I should drink it, because I feel great already so why mess with it?

Very tempted to make a weed edible, despite the fact that I don't really want to at the moment. Being stoned isn't even a habit anymore. It's the memory of a habit. I'm not addicted to it, but I was addicted for so long that those synaptic connections are still there. I'm so used to consuming it, I just do it without thinking. I do it because that's what I do. Like I'm on autopilot or something.

Maybe I'm overthinking it.

No weed - Day 16
No weed - Day 0
No alcohol - Day 21

...

Drug expenses (not including alcohol) for August - AUD$1261
Drug expenses (not including alcohol) for September - AUD$1374
Drug expenses (not including alcohol) for October - AUD$192
 
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Who keeps track of drug expenses? Yes you are, over thinking how about aud$0
Hey, you busted my balls over my somewhat brief coffee addiction. Good luck
 
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