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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

had a brilliant day today. set up my macbook further for music and almost finished an engineering/mix master for a client.

had a meeting tonight which went really well & made a new pal. ate too many reese cups again today plus a giant bowl of ramen. i did walk 6 miles today though to compensate for the candy lmao. anyways things are honestly really well. no complaints here
 
Awesome to hear, @tokayeahok. I want some ramen now!

Got my test results back today. My lungs are fine. Ultrasound was also fine. There's actually nothing wrong with me!

I have been convinced for so long (over a decade) that I'm dying because surely all the shit I did to myself must have had some kind of irreversible consequence. But, apparently not!

I'm not going to roll the dice again.

I'm done with hard drugs.

I survived!

...

Doing no sex / masturbation for a week leading up to my next bufo ceremony, which is in two days... I find this MUCH harder than quitting drinking / weed / other drugs. I'm an extremely horny person. It's super hard. I realize I've been using sexual release as a drug. This - I guess - is why my facilitator suggested I take a break before ceremony. I get it now.

No sex / masturbation - Day 6
 
Frog Dreams said:
Awesome to hear, @tokayeahok. I want some ramen now!

Got my test results back today. My lungs are fine. Ultrasound was also fine. There's actually nothing wrong with me!

I have been convinced for so long (over a decade) that I'm dying because surely all the shit I did to myself must have had some kind of irreversible consequence. But, apparently not!

I'm not going to roll the dice again.

I'm done with hard drugs.

I survived!

...

Doing no sex / masturbation for a week leading up to my next bufo ceremony, which is in two days... I find this MUCH harder than quitting drinking / weed / other drugs. I'm an extremely horny person. It's super hard. I realize I've been using sexual release as a drug. This - I guess - is why my facilitator suggested I take a break before ceremony. I get it now.

No sex / masturbation - Day 6
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don’t let us down for no fap november mate!
 
just waking up. in a lot of pain today from that toothache still, i’m pretty sure i broke my toe bc i was hanging paintings yesterday and dropped one right on the cuticle of my big toe. at least a hairline fracture. i’ve got a pimple on my lip that hurts like shit. ugh lmao. anyways took my kratom and meds and just having a bubble bath waking up and waiting for aleeve / ibuprofen to do it’s thing. doomscrolling. my meeting last night went really really well, lasted 2 1/2 hours. didn’t sleep for shit, because i had so much coffee so i’ll probably nap today at some point. have been speaking to this really cute lass that i hit it off with really quick. things are well, i just wish my body was hurting as much as it is lol finished off the rest of my halloween candy to get it out of my sight(one way to do it) so i’ll have to walk 5-6 miles today on a broken toe to makeup for the calories lmao
 
tokayeahok said:
just waking up. in a lot of pain today from that toothache still, i’m pretty sure i broke my toe bc i was hanging paintings yesterday and dropped one right on the cuticle of my big toe. at least a hairline fracture. i’ve got a pimple on my lip that hurts like shit. ugh lmao. anyways took my kratom and meds and just having a bubble bath waking up and waiting for aleeve / ibuprofen to do it’s thing. doomscrolling. my meeting last night went really really well, lasted 2 1/2 hours. didn’t sleep for shit, because i had so much coffee so i’ll probably nap today at some point. have been speaking to this really cute lass that i hit it off with really quick. things are well, i just wish my body was hurting as much as it is lol finished off the rest of my halloween candy to get it out of my sight(one way to do it) so i’ll have to walk 5-6 miles today on a broken toe to makeup for the calories lmao
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Sorry to hear you're in pain bro. Maybe just take it easy with a broken toe you want it to get better not worse i guess.

I'm just out the house going for a haircut and a walk with the dog. Back to light weights workout every day and a measured diet. Slowly but surely things are improving and i'm sleeping better at night too.
 
elgoucho9 said:
Sorry to hear you're in pain bro. Maybe just take it easy with a broken toe you want it to get better not worse i guess.

I'm just out the house going for a haircut and a walk with the dog. Back to light weights workout every day and a measured diet. Slowly but surely things are improving and i'm sleeping better at night too.
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that’s amazing to hear! and i would take a day off but it’s not painful to walk on, especially with the combat boots i’m wearing lmao
 
Jnowhere said:
Frog dreams, coffee always use to make me piss as bad as cheap beer. Mayo clinic says caffeine is a diuretic but Reader digest disagrees , but caffeine in high doses, is a diuretic. Although amounts to body weight can vary and so can tolerance. Overall, too much caffeine has a diuretic effect. It can depend on body weight and caffeine levels. Coffee(except decaf, of course) can effect urine out put. Different opinions by different researchers. I don't care what anyone says, caffeine makes my piss more, like cheap beer. Although I will grant you this, it may depend on the strenght(caffeine amount) and 1 cup may not have much or any effect. I still would drink Gatorade or Powerade if I were to start working out like I did when I was a teenager, before I began drinking.
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It has a mild diuretic effect. Whether or not the overall effect is diuretic depends on the ratio of caffeine to water. If you drink espresso, it will dehydrate you.

Yesterday, I pretty much only drank coffee and Coca-Cola and my piss was clear as water.

I used to believe coffee was dehydrating, but I don't think it's true.

Anyway, doesn't matter.
 
Appreciate the concern, dude.

I don't usually drink that much coffee just had a fucking long day and inadequate sleep the night before. Literally needed caffeine to stay awake.

I would never drink 50/60 cups of coffee in a day. Never heard of anyone doing that. Can't be good on the heart.
 
Jnowhere said:
Tokayeahok, what's up with you always worried about calories? Pimples on the lip always use to hurt the worst. Popping them would almost make me scream. Sugar has this effect no me, that if I start eating alot, I will start to crave it alot. If I avoid it, I have little desire for it. Didn't even know Halloween was here till I read my phone an it said 12:03 Nov 1, I missed it because it ain't a Federal Holiday and got mail and got my own treats at the pharmacy, Vitamin D mega doses and Zen pap( digestive aid) and something else and tobacco. Gotta quit, cheap, if you make own with tubes, a good machine and loose tobacco, trying to quit, hate it, nicotine is more addictive to me than anything. Smoking bad, they want 10 dollars plus tax at gas stations for good cigs( Marlboro reds) screw that, the best, I always thought were Pall Mall, un filtered. Long as a regular cig, but more expensive, filtered, not as good but much cheaper, but I have to quit again, this sucks, I am a chain smoked. Three in a row usually, bulk tobacco, cheap tunes and a good machine make quitting a nightmare. Careful with toe fracture, and what about wildlife, are there bears? I recommend a 7 or 8 shot 357 magnum, minimum of 4 inch barrel and heavy hollow points. A good Smith and Wesson or Ruger.
Will not jam, and if the are bears, they are almost guaranteed to be black bears, but you sound to peaceful to carry, so make sure you have bear mace, apparently it works, I'd carry both and a Derringer, high caliber for backup.
Unless hibernation is already happened
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HAHA man i’m just health conscious. i’m a very black and white person when it comes to things like that. if i’m a junkie i’m gunna go all the way. if i’m not using substances, i’m going to go the extra step and be healthy, mindful, and go all the way and be in shape. nothing too extreme at all, but i do have bad tunnel vision when it comes to things like that. luckily i’m good at seeing the world through multiple lenses when it comes to everything else other than personal routine or habits, and innately am hyper aware of all in-betweenisms
 
Frog Dreams said:
Appreciate the concern, dude.

I don't usually drink that much coffee just had a fucking long day and inadequate sleep the night before. Literally needed caffeine to stay awake.

I would never drink 50/60 cups of coffee in a day. Never heard of anyone doing that. Can't be good on the heart.
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i drink about…..45oz of coffee a day. 4 cups on my keurig throughout the day, pressing the middle 10oz button 3 times or so and the 12oz for my morning cup
 
Literally woke up laughing today. I had such a good sleep, I assumed I'd slept in till lunchtime, but then I realized after I sat down at the computer that it was 8.15AM. Only got about 6 hours sleep, but I feel amazing. Played Pikmin 4 with my daughter for half an hour and made her breakfast, then dropped her off at kinder and had really beautiful interactions with the other parents. Now, I'm cleaning the house in a frenzy. Feels like I'm on uppers, despite only having one cup of black coffee.

Day 14 of no weed. I'm past the hump now. Past the brain fog. Got that incredible detox energy. Fucking loving it.
 
Frog Dreams said:
Literally woke up laughing today. I had such a good sleep, I assumed I'd slept in till lunchtime, but then I realized after I sat down at the computer that it was 8.15AM. Only got about 6 hours sleep, but I feel amazing. Played Pikmin 4 with my daughter for half an hour and made her breakfast, then dropped her off at kinder and had really beautiful interactions with the other parents. Now, I'm cleaning the house in a frenzy. Feels like I'm on uppers, despite only having one cup of black coffee.

Day 14 of no weed. I'm past the hump now. Past the brain fog. Got that incredible detox energy. Fucking loving it.
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doesn’t getting a good amount of rest just give you the biggest dopamine reward? so proud of you man. i loved the detox energy, and the manic outbursts haha
 
just woke up. slept til 6am again, which was nice. took my kratom, replying to a friend of mine who’s also as many days clean as i am. he did the ketamine / br-NAD+ infusions at the detox who sent me the br-NAD+ and we got really close recently since we’re a lot alike. both musicians, both into neurochem, etc. have been talking to this one girl who i really really enjoy talking to 🥺 a lot. only thing is she’s a RN in the NICU, and i’m unemployed and nurses usually wouldn’t date me. i don’t let just anyone know that i used to have an issue with substances and that i’m recovery, as i don’t wear it on my sleeve nor bring it up until i feel safe and vulnerable enough to do so.

having my cup of coffee as always, might do a line of coffee grounds later. who knows, feeling edgy 😈 kidding kidding.

anyways guys have a good day. :)
 
Hey y'all good to hear good news and everything from you guys :)

I've been doing really well, did a pre-req course and passed (won't be specific because this is bluelight) and had my orientation for something I've wanted to do for years. Start next week, so just trying to savour every last minute of lazy time before I go back to school :D


Edit: last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster, mostly good but with some serious dips in mood. And tonight I got triggered by something messed up that happened to me and had a full-on flashback. Not fun going through it again.
 
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