I said I wasn't going to post in this thread, but people keep directing comments to me. I have attempted to respond via private message, but nobody is responding to those messages... and there continues to be a series of comments posted ITT.
Yet you claim to be an alcoholic in recovery.
I don't believe alcoholism is a permanent state. I said I used to be an alcoholic. Now, most days I don't drink. I can have one beer and leave it at that.
Part of the confusion here is we have different definitions of alcoholism and that's something that angers AA folks. I suppose I should have said (in my list of addictions) that I was once an alcohol addict. I do not believe I am an addict, right now. I did over a year without alcohol. Wasn't difficult. Then - after that year - I drank no more than 5 standard drinks a day. Most days I didn't drink.
So the reason you are getting grief from everyone in this thread is that is not the signs or behavior patterns of someone who wants to get clean.
Clean implies dirty. I don't like that word. I don't have any shame. I will quit drinking when I quit drinking. I'm not scared of myself. I'm not in a hurry. I'm not stressed about it. I recognize that it's problematic.
If you go back and read what I posted, you'll see you're making a series of assumptions.
I'm learning MORE from hangovers without the shame. The shame used to lead me to drink. It didn't serve me at all.
Now, I am getting to a point where I will stop drinking for the right reasons. I don't punish myself.
Read the original post that everyone reacted WTF to and people keep quoting.
I wake up with a hangover, but I don't suffer with it. I don't resign myself to it. I don't regret. I own it.
This is what I do with hangovers, now. I lean into them. I feel them. I learn from them. I don't fight.
Last night I had a couple of grams of mushrooms and about four tabs of acid, plus 5 beers (or so?) and most of a bottle of Sambuca.
I wake up with a hangover, but I wake up with God.
God is everything. The hangover is nothing.
Bring it on.
I'm tired of punishing myself.
Try and pinpoint a sentence that is problematic. I've re-read it numerous times. I think you're misinterpreting what I'm saying.
Should I suffer? Should I regret it? Should I not own it? Should I not lean into hangovers? Should I not feel them? Should I not learn from them? Should I fight? Should I wake up without God? Is God not everything? Should I punish myself?
I honestly don't understand what you disagree with.
Everything I said was positive.
A whole bottle of sambuca in a night after beers ontop of LSD is certainly not healing
I went very deep with it. It was super healing. The hangover I experienced was as healing and powerful as a bufo ceremony and I wouldn't describe any other moment in my life like that - except perhaps a particular breakthrough Amanita Muscaria journey.
Jnowhere said:
I wonder if this guy is just messing with us. I wonder this or if his brain is so messed up from all that LSD that he can drink heavily, admit being an alcoholic, then say there is no such thing as alcoholism in the same post.
There is no such thing as irreversible permanent alcoholism, IMO. You can be addicted to alcohol, like any drug. This is all semantics. If you want to understand what I'm saying, you just have to try.
There is no permanence in the universe.
They used to say schizophrenia was permanent but now they know it is not.
On a different note, I am not being a homophobe, but(no pun intended) 'bufo" is slang term for butt f???Ed
Bufo is latin for toad. It is a term that is often used in the medicine community to refer to the secretions of the Colorado River Toad, which contains 5-meo-DMT and bufotenine.
Also saying that you did more drugs than Hunter S Thompson: Is like saying your crazier than Gary Busey
Agree to disagree.
