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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

endlessnameless said:
Massive congratulations on that fortnight mate. The 10-14 day mark is typically the major turn around point for me considering I can get that far. How are you feeling?
Have your physical withdrawals subsided (and if so when did that happen for you)?
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hey buddy! thank you so much, that’s incredibly kind of you to say! :) yeah i’m on day 13 && feel never better. i take kratom & gabapentin everyday so that definitely helps, especially anything PAWS related. I feel completely fine and am getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night.

i feel great and no complaints other that my temper gets a little out of hand. i’m a really sensitive & quiet, nice person.

for example, i found out my mum read through my personal journal’s(i suppose that’s a valid reason to get angry) and i just went outside and wanted to scream as loud as i could and punch something, but i just smoked a dart & had a cup of coffee & slagged it off.
 
tokayeahok said:
hey buddy! thank you so much, that’s incredibly kind of you to say! :) yeah i’m on day 13 && feel never better. i take kratom & gabapentin everyday so that definitely helps, especially anything PAWS related. I feel completely fine and am getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night.

i feel great and no complaints other that my temper gets a little out of hand. i’m a really sensitive & quiet, nice person.

for example, i found out my mum read through my personal journal’s(i suppose that’s a valid reason to get angry) and i just went outside and wanted to scream as loud as i could and punch something, but i just smoked a dart & had a cup of coffee & slagged it off.
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Yeah I recall my temper used to come back strong enough (for me, at least) but I could usually control it. Its mainly when the fog clears and I get pissed off about how much of a hold opioids had over me.
I also have a trove of journals strewn about my room documenting my journey and I'm surprised no one in my house has gone through them yet. Of course even if they did I wouldnt know, so its a possibility...must store those away. I'll have plenty of time to do that over the next couple of weeks...though having the energy is quite another, even though I know keeping busy is key. I said I'd paint the ceilings in the living room - I should be able to manage that.

Cant wait to get to get to that 13 day mark. Even 10 days.
 
endlessnameless said:
I know we dont know eachother however that doesn't preclude me from feeling relieved to hear that you're feeling much better than you were, as I've been following your posts and I was quite worried you were going to harm yourself. Glad to hear you're in a better place somni.

I empathise with most of what you're saying, especially when it comes to depression, anxiety coupled with both the apathy and lethargy as a result. Likewise being depressed for most of my life. I still hold out hope though; I know what I need to do (get sober and stay sober). I've done it a few times before (as have you I've read) and I'm confident we can do it again.

Correct me if I'm wrong but you're sober now right (including being off methadone)? If so how long have you been clean?

Hang in there buddy - this will all be a distant memory or each of us if we can just exercise the discipline to do what we know needs to be done.
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I've been off methadone for a little over 3mths but I still smoke bud and have a few drinks or 4 every now and then. It was really rough this time because I just straight up walked off of 90mgs of methadone plus the 3-4 extra 90mg bottles I bought off the street every week. I've been blessed to have a lot of awesome support from the lovely people at Bluelight though. I'm gonna make it this time.

How about you?

I'm so happy to see more people posting in the recovery forum. I hope all you guys just coming back to recovery stick around. I love helping motivate each other. We could have a real squad over here in the H&R forum. Let's all ride out together.

@tokayeahok
and our solid recovery OG's @kiely and @deficiT

Also @Ds out there somewhere doing his thing.


Plus all those I missed and those that are still to come. Come join the recovery🎉
 
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🔥 <<<< flames. thanxxx.

i just need the strength and with energy. And I don't know where to get it from.

smiles. thnxxx again. <3<3<3<3

❣️🌻

silly #'# emoties. jk ;);)

at least cwe saved my liver. honest.

bye 🔥
 
If you want it bad enough you will get it. It's not easy though. You have to keep trying. Keep on. Yolo. !! and prayers. lol. jk. but helps. o.s.

rough day anybody . . !! is it morning yet.

🔥🕊️🔥
ZPbA4Sq.gif


Remember to love and not to hate. Take care everybody. :rockon: Ouch. <3
 
endlessnameless said:
Yeah I recall my temper used to come back strong enough (for me, at least) but I could usually control it. Its mainly when the fog clears and I get pissed off about how much of a hold opioids had over me.
I also have a trove of journals strewn about my room documenting my journey and I'm surprised no one in my house has gone through them yet. Of course even if they did I wouldnt know, so its a possibility...must store those away. I'll have plenty of time to do that over the next couple of weeks...though having the energy is quite another, even though I know keeping busy is key. I said I'd paint the ceilings in the living room - I should be able to manage that.

Cant wait to get to get to that 13 day mark. Even 10 days.
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hide them while you can! 🤣 i wish i had one of those fancy locked journals that you can purchase. i felt so intrinsically violated when i learned she had read through them :( it made my heart hurt a bit.
 
When I start getting more money coming in I'm gonna make the switch from occasional drinks to Kava which I find to be a chiller, less sloppy and more forgiving alternative to alcohol.
 
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wh
endlessnameless said:
Yeah I recall my temper used to come back strong enough (for me, at least) but I could usually control it. Its mainly when the fog clears and I get pissed off about how much of a hold opioids had over me.
I also have a trove of journals strewn about my room documenting my journey and I'm surprised no one in my house has gone through them yet. Of course even if they did I wouldnt know, so its a possibility...must store those away. I'll have plenty of time to do that over the next couple of weeks...though having the energy is quite another, even though I know keeping busy is key. I said I'd paint the ceilings in the living room - I should be able to manage that.

Cant wait to get to get to that 13 day mark. Even 10 days.
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what day are you on right now? or have you not quit yet? we’re all here for you bredren & to support you & all be mates.


yeah man, i’ve been staying super busy as well. it helps a lot. as one of my favorite the smith’s lines says, ‘the devil has work for idle hands to do’ / incredible tune by the way, but it definitely stands true throughout post-addiction when it comes to letting your thoughts simmer & boil. especially in early recovery.
 
somnilicious said:
When I start getting more money coming in I'm gonna make the switch from occasional drinks to Kava which I find to be a chiller, less sloppy and more forgiving replacement for alcohol.
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what’s kava feel like? is it actually pretty noticeable? i’ve never tried it
 
somnilicious said:
@tokayeahok
How was the day with your out of town friend?
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it was incredibly fun. i had an anxiety attack at the hispanic restaurant - i had finished my shopping and i suppose was overstimulated & overwhelmed, as it was sorta triggering knowing i had the money and could have went & scored. but i just washed my face with cold water and went home. this morning she came to my house as i made a big breakfast and coffee for us both before she headed back home down at the beach :)
 
kiely said:
at least cwe saved my liver. honest.

bye 🔥
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edit: and my eyesight. . . . . someone said they lost almost all of their eye sight from too much acetaminophen. lool. o.s. again !

it's a #'# blood thinner though. duh . . . . i even know that. vaso.di.la.tion duh.
 
tokayeahok said:
what’s kava feel like? is it actually pretty noticeable? i’ve never tried it
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It's relaxing, makes conversation less inhibiting but never embarrassing or sloppy. Sometimes it can have a heady, slightly stimulating kind of buzz. It makes the whole body kinda numb in a pleasant way. Really hard to describe. Has pot mixed with gabapentin and a splash of alcohol vibes. There are a number of different kavalactones at play and there are generally considered to be heady or heavy types depending on region.

If it's good it's very nice and definitely noticable. Can be euphoric in more subtle way. I personally somewhat love the stuff but you gotta do your research on brands. it's pricey but the micronized and mature hits the hardest plus it mixes easily in a glass of water or juice. I'd recommend kava forum for information.

@AutoTripper loves the stuff also. I'll let him describe. I now summon thee.
 
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woke up today, started the day with a bubble bath. was decently manic but now it’s noon and i’m incredibly tired and feeling a bit depressy. had some coffee and b vitamins, as well as my kratom. only took 600mg of gabapentin this morning so that probably has something to do with it.

dunno what to do with myself because i’m so tired 😪 took a few photos for my album i’m writing / concept art
 
woke up && made some coffee. just made a fried egg on wheat toast for brekkie. listening to tunes & prancing around the house. need to go exercise but really don’t want to. ran out of my white kratom today so will probably go get more at some point. it’s bloody hot here in south carolina.

have been chatting to a fellow musician friend of mine, who got a DUI last night. he blew a fucking .3. a POINT THREE. i’ve been asking him how the fuck he could even walk. they ripped him of his license & was thrown in jail for a night. luckily it’s his first so he’s doing alright. just down in the dumps. his partner left him as well, for this, which isn’t helping anything. it’s sad. so i’ve just been chatting with him, listening to the 1975 and waking up. dunno what i’ll do today
 
I woke up. I wanna take some gabapentin. Because I think it is going to help. And I know it won't. Smdh. <3

Yes, I'm in the Southwest. It's Hot too ! :)🌞
 
I took about 500mg pregabalin in total yesterday and it had me "off" and was a bit leery of making the trek on bike pulling a cart with clean clothes alongside. Balance was off but made it with only a stubbed toe (wearing flip flops). Could a been a lot worse cause I was also on weed and bnz.
Thank gods bupre is leaving my system I can finally enjoy my kratom again.
I guess I am still a poly drug user and facing the fact that I may always be so.
F it as long as nobody gets hurt and family is good it really doesn't bother me tbph.
I will say that going from abuse to use has made a huge impact on my life and by proxy others lives have been "enhanced" if I may.
Be well family I think my browser is going to crash soon and there may be no coming back from that. Ha
Peace
 
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