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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

elgoucho9 said:
What you said about facing things about yourself that are uncomfortable shows that you are genuinely seeking to improve yourself. I have recently been faced with similar myself and it's the only way i could improve.

I hope you find your truth and get to go to the retreat. And even if that doesn't happen your minset sounds solid.



Wow that sucks mate. Hope you are ok. This is why i basically has barely drank myself in 2023 is it just makes me do too many embarassing and dickheadish things. It's the worst drug out there in terms of the users not recognising how shitty their behaviour is while under the influence.
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PCP in the wrong person is worse
 
with everything going on, i have been using occasionally. some m30 pressies every 3 days or so and only for one day, to stave off withdrawals. i haven’t used in 4 days now and haven’t had any physical symptoms pop up. just had to clear my head, or that’s my excuse at least. my room being torn apart was incredibly stressful. and the things my mum told me, were very triggering. but i’m okay, doing some family stuff today for christmas and gift exchanging :)

happy holidays guys
 
tokayeahok said:
with everything going on, i have been using occasionally. some m30 pressies every 3 days or so and only for one day, to stave off withdrawals. i haven’t used in 4 days now and haven’t had any physical symptoms pop up. just had to clear my head, or that’s my excuse at least. my room being torn apart was incredibly stressful. and the things my mum told me, were very triggering. but i’m okay, doing some family stuff today for christmas and gift exchanging :)

happy holidays guys
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Glad to hear your doing ok after that traumatic experience mate.

Hope everyone else who struggles is doing well and has a great Christmas.
 
This can be a very triggering of year too. I hope everyone can be able to find comfort, health and safety and keep working towards it all in the best way possible.

I hope that everyone stays calm and finds joy and peacefulness when ever we can and it is possible.

Sometime nothing would help for me except praying. But I think everyone is holding on and trying hard here.

And I really do admire the strength that you all have. love helps.

Take care. The broken pieces are tough though. Keep head up always and smiles too when we can. :):)<3<3<3
 
Thanks.

This time of year is very hard, for tons of people, I agree.

Today I've had strong cravings. Strongest for a while. Will likely smoke a bit of weed tonight and just chill TF out, instead.
 
Still been managing to work out most days over the festives. No alcohol or any kind of negative impacting drug use since my last blip. Aiming to call it a wrap at that and just stick to weed or psychedelic drugs now and work on self improvement rather than self destruction.
 
elgoucho9 said:
Still been managing to work out most days over the festives. No alcohol or any kind of negative impacting drug use since my last blip. Aiming to call it a wrap at that and just stick to weed or psychedelic drugs now and work on self improvement rather than self destruction.
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Wish you the best and hope, that doesn't lead to harder drugs. How are the legal bullshit going? I ask because I am dealing also with endless bs for other reasons.
 
Jnowhere said:
Wish you the best and hope, that doesn't lead to harder drugs. How are the legal bullshit going? I ask because I am dealing also with endless bs for other reasons.
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No update yet only arresred for the crime in august and no further action since. Trying not to think about it and hope it goes away to be honest. Even though i know there's no chance of that. It will probably take 1 year to come up i suspect.
 
That just makes it worse, not knowing. Wondering what will happen. I have my dead dad's living trust issues and ridiculous bs that his living trust was supposed to have dealt with the trust, but the courts are fucking with me and I am scared of the legal bill.
 
elgoucho9 said:
No update yet only arresred for the crime in august and no further action since. Trying not to think about it and hope it goes away to be honest. Even though i know there's no chance of that. It will probably take 1 year to come up i suspect.
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You never know, man. You're trying really hard again. It might pay off. I hope it does. The universe has it's own justice system.
 
I just threw my disposable nic vape into a sewer thing is hurting me dude I feel better off it cannot believe I keep going back for one because I am not thinking straight all messed up when I decide to get hooked back on them

One small step tonight for hopefully a less stressful day tomorrow without being fixated and chained to it body will start rebalancing stabilizing healing

Oh makes me think back to the sewers at an old job how many vapes I tossed fearing I might have a heart attack

I actually live with intention sober this is wickedly nonsensical agony to keep getting F’d up at my age you just can’t and keep breathing

I have a 3 mg lozenge pouch rather probably gonna have to use that tonight. It’s gonna bite at my brain to I bet
 
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good evening BLers. just finished up some chores in the house & drinking some gatorade. smoking a few ciggies here & there.

i’ve been in contact with a place in my town who gives out free beds to people with substance use disorder, and is faith-based. i honestly cannot stand ANYTHING this place stands for other than running a pretty cool thrift shop && giving the homeless a bed, in return for their attempt at AA/NA, and going to Sunday sermons. Meetings are daily, every evening.

My stepfather doesn’t want me at home any longer, since apparently it’s my fault my mum got far too intoxicated & destroyed my bedroom / some of the house… once again, the only thing i did that night was remove myself from the situation & since she couldn’t find me, she proceeded to shatter both my bedroom windows, break some of my music equipment, destroy 90% of my bedroom & artwork hanging up, etc etc. i just didn’t really expect to be kicked out of my house - especially on christmas day… i’m not used to living out on the streets. it’s pretty cold out, as well. but anyways, he said i absolutely have to get out, and if i want to go for this 12-step rehab program, i can stay here until a bed opens up at the faith center. but like i was saying, as an atheist, going to a faith-based recovery is very tongue-in-cheek. i’ll want to intrinsically & inherently fight back against everything they’ll try to teach me. also, i think traditional AA/NA spaces are very very very toxic, cult-like, and have very poor success rates.


i just signed up for a suboxone telemedicine service, so i’ll see how that turns out. i’ve been using quite a bit this holiday season, to numb out a lot of shit. even tonight i used. i have faith in the suboxone, as i’ve only been to a MAT clinic once and i went down the methadone route, and wasn’t ready to recover - so i just abused the methadone so i could be withdrawal-free on my off days. i’ll be interested in seeing how this suboxone program works.

anyways, im stressed about having to leave the house but other than that, all is well 💕
 
tokayeahok said:
good evening BLers. just finished up some chores in the house & drinking some gatorade. smoking a few ciggies here & there.

i’ve been in contact with a place in my town who gives out free beds to people with substance use disorder, and is faith-based. i honestly cannot stand ANYTHING this place stands for other than running a pretty cool thrift shop && giving the homeless a bed, in return for their attempt at AA/NA, and going to Sunday sermons. Meetings are daily, every evening.

My stepfather doesn’t want me at home any longer, since apparently it’s my fault my mum got far too intoxicated & destroyed my bedroom / some of the house… once again, the only thing i did that night was remove myself from the situation & since she couldn’t find me, she proceeded to shatter both my bedroom windows, break some of my music equipment, destroy 90% of my bedroom & artwork hanging up, etc etc. i just didn’t really expect to be kicked out of my house - especially on christmas day… i’m not used to living out on the streets. it’s pretty cold out, as well. but anyways, he said i absolutely have to get out, and if i want to go for this 12-step rehab program, i can stay here until a bed opens up at the faith center. but like i was saying, as an atheist, going to a faith-based recovery is very tongue-in-cheek. i’ll want to intrinsically & inherently fight back against everything they’ll try to teach me. also, i think traditional AA/NA spaces are very very very toxic, cult-like, and have very poor success rates.


i just signed up for a suboxone telemedicine service, so i’ll see how that turns out. i’ve been using quite a bit this holiday season, to numb out a lot of shit. even tonight i used. i have faith in the suboxone, as i’ve only been to a MAT clinic once and i went down the methadone route, and wasn’t ready to recover - so i just abused the methadone so i could be withdrawal-free on my off days. i’ll be interested in seeing how this suboxone program works.

anyways, im stressed about having to leave the house but other than that, all is well 💕
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Man that is crazy, can you stay with a friend or another relative for the time being?

Edit: so you're allowed to stay at your home until the faith-based centre? (Sorry not enough coffee this morning)
 
I wish that I could be a better person and just be able to help others.

. . . . but that might be a gift or something.


I would hope that others would basically just try to help each other as much as possible.


I just always think if I rest and pray that I will somehow be able to be better also.

I hope.
 
h
kiely said:
And my health keeps getting weaker. And I have no energy and I'm terrified.

I mean I really am physically tired and feel that badly.

And then you know, trying to deal with others. Three more days until a new year maybe it will be better, right.

I F'n hope so. H&R Yay let's Go !!!!! :)
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have you looked into chronic fatigue syndrome? you may have that, man! i would like to think i have it but mostly everyone around me would just chalk it up to me being ‘lazy’ yanno? it’s a tricky diagnosis
 
tokayeahok said:
good evening BLers. just finished up some chores in the house & drinking some gatorade. smoking a few ciggies here & there.

i’ve been in contact with a place in my town who gives out free beds to people with substance use disorder, and is faith-based. i honestly cannot stand ANYTHING this place stands for other than running a pretty cool thrift shop && giving the homeless a bed, in return for their attempt at AA/NA, and going to Sunday sermons. Meetings are daily, every evening.

My stepfather doesn’t want me at home any longer, since apparently it’s my fault my mum got far too intoxicated & destroyed my bedroom / some of the house… once again, the only thing i did that night was remove myself from the situation & since she couldn’t find me, she proceeded to shatter both my bedroom windows, break some of my music equipment, destroy 90% of my bedroom & artwork hanging up, etc etc. i just didn’t really expect to be kicked out of my house - especially on christmas day… i’m not used to living out on the streets. it’s pretty cold out, as well. but anyways, he said i absolutely have to get out, and if i want to go for this 12-step rehab program, i can stay here until a bed opens up at the faith center. but like i was saying, as an atheist, going to a faith-based recovery is very tongue-in-cheek. i’ll want to intrinsically & inherently fight back against everything they’ll try to teach me. also, i think traditional AA/NA spaces are very very very toxic, cult-like, and have very poor success rates.


i just signed up for a suboxone telemedicine service, so i’ll see how that turns out. i’ve been using quite a bit this holiday season, to numb out a lot of shit. even tonight i used. i have faith in the suboxone, as i’ve only been to a MAT clinic once and i went down the methadone route, and wasn’t ready to recover - so i just abused the methadone so i could be withdrawal-free on my off days. i’ll be interested in seeing how this suboxone program works.

anyways, im stressed about having to leave the house but other than that, all is well 💕
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You’re going to get through this some how some way … I’m not just saying that either, I really believe it.
One moment at a time
Big hug 💕💜
 
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