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Recovery The 2023 Recovery Thread

Kiely, thanks, it is a mental battle, pain and pills. How can you deal with pain and not have pain killers?
 
Tokayeahok: I remember going through alcohol withdraw and at times the mental pain was so bad, I almost forgot the physical pain. Is the weed and Kratos helping?
 
Another update, back at the thrift store with mum. didn’t really sleep last night. took my morning gabapentin and kratom so just sitting in the car listening to tunes. might go inside and find some new garms once these gabbys kick in a little. was feeling like pure shit from around 4-8:45am, it’s only roughly 9:20am rn. suns out, birds are singing xo

approaching almost a week clean from opiates woiiii
 
struggling right now with the anhedonia physically & mentally pretty bad. dopamine goes up then drops and then goes up and then down again. just sitting on my bed doomscrolling & not enjoying anything. i know this is par of course but jesus christ the late stages of acute withdrawal and not knowing what to do with myself suck. i know i need to go on a walk etc, but i’m just too tired. having a tea and a ciggy and just listening to tunes and chatting up friends.

be easy xo
 
I was the same way with alcohol, except the withdrawals only lasted 5 days, just try to remember this when the urge to use comes back and the withdrawals are gone
I know I wish I had, for some reason we forget how bad the consequences of using and cycle keeps repeating. I know I am being a bit hypocritical but I hate to that you suffer for so long.

.
 
Jnowhere said:
He's right movies are a great distraction
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it’s just hard to sit still even though i’m in bed, aha. the gabapentin is helping i suppose, and the kratom. quite a bit. just bored as fuck. i’ll try to find something special on amazon prime. been watching a lot of documentaries
 
Have you seen the ww1 and ww2 in color series they are long but kill time and if you like history, they are good I saw them on the internet
There are many but the ones I am talking about are long, but good and well done
 
Jnowhere said:
Have you seen the ww1 and ww2 in color series they are long but kill time and if you like history, they are good I saw them on the internet
There are many but the ones I am talking about are long, but good and well done
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bruv the ww1 bit is my favorite. that’s hilarious because i’ve watched that whilst being dopesick so many times 😂
 
tokayeahok said:
struggling right now with the anhedonia physically & mentally pretty bad. dopamine goes up then drops and then goes up and then down again. just sitting on my bed doomscrolling & not enjoying anything. i know this is par of course but jesus christ the late stages of acute withdrawal and not knowing what to do with myself suck. i know i need to go on a walk etc, but i’m just too tired. having a tea and a ciggy and just listening to tunes and chatting up friends.

be easy xo
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Shits tough. I found, even as hard as it seems cuz of the lack of energy, just doing menial tasks, anything really, was enough to take my mind off the bullshit and make the day pass faster.
Plus, a little exercise when you can manage to do it helps immensely.

I would go and split wood for an hour or so at a time. Then take a little break just listening to music (music has always been a healthy coping mechanism for myself)
Sounds fucking nuts, I know. But it got me moving and kept my mind from burning holes in my skull.

Stay positive, you got this shit!

Always, fair winds and following seas
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
You don’t need to be sorry at all, write whatever you need to. I looked at the pictures he looked like a nice guy, even the little doggy in his lap seemed to love him.
I can relate, I had a really good friend that passed a while ago & we were like sisters & a lot of different times it hits me. Her birthday was September 5th & that date always hits me
Please feel free to write whatever you need to okay
Many blessings to you 💜🌺
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I'm so sorry man. Condolences to you. ❤
 
tokayeahok said:
Another update, back at the thrift store with mum. didn’t really sleep last night. took my morning gabapentin and kratom so just sitting in the car listening to tunes. might go inside and find some new garms once these gabbys kick in a little. was feeling like pure shit from around 4-8:45am, it’s only roughly 9:20am rn. suns out, birds are singing xo

approaching almost a week clean from opiates woiiii
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Perfect morning wake up.
Kratom=Gabapentin=Coffee! 🚀 ☕ 🚀 ☕
 
CaptnRon said:
Shits tough. I found, even as hard as it seems cuz of the lack of energy, just doing menial tasks, anything really, was enough to take my mind off the bullshit and make the day pass faster.
Plus, a little exercise when you can manage to do it helps immensely.

I would go and split wood for an hour or so at a time. Then take a little break just listening to music (music has always been a healthy coping mechanism for myself)
Sounds fucking nuts, I know. But it got me moving and kept my mind from burning holes in my skull.

Stay positive, you got this shit!

Always, fair winds and following seas
Click to expand...
Heck yeah! Almost every single day since quitting I've gone for a decent walk. It's helped keep me sane. Started gym again and that's helping too.
 
tokayeahok said:
struggling right now with the anhedonia physically & mentally pretty bad. dopamine goes up then drops and then goes up and then down again. just sitting on my bed doomscrolling & not enjoying anything. i know this is par of course but jesus christ the late stages of acute withdrawal and not knowing what to do with myself suck. i know i need to go on a walk etc, but i’m just too tired. having a tea and a ciggy and just listening to tunes and chatting up friends.

be easy xo
Click to expand...
It'll stabilize soon. Give it some time and be good to yourself :)
Jnowhere said:
So sick and tired of being sick and tired. Tired of being in bed or sittng in and old chair. Too much to do, no energy to do it. Slowly dying sucks. Have stuff that needs to be done but can't seem to do it. Then next year I have to deal with my and dead fathers taxes. Need to talk to lawyers and financial advisors but keep putting it off. Don't even no where to begin with those, not to mention possibly finding a new health care plan and putting my house and car in my name. (Inheritance bullshit). Then all the other financial stuff. It is like going on a journey you don't want, with no clear directions or no clear destination. My family did a lot for me, but sometimes I wish I was lying in gutter some where. I should have never began drinking in college, how was I supposed to know drinking some beer would make me completely dysfunctional with no idea how to survive alone in the real world. Deep down I know my situation ain't that bad. I know it could be much worse. But being half mature and half a lazy clueless immature grown man is ridiculous. I thank God for all his help. I really need it. I just sit here, sleep, sometimes run errands and dread all the stuff that needs to be done. I still have to figure out what to do about a tombstone for my parents(my father was buried with my mother's urn and ashes).
Never seen theirs or my sister's Graves.
Gotta learn to face reality. Shouldn't have ever drank. In college I could have found a wife. I screwed up all potential would be's with what was at the time my first love, strong cheap beer. Instead of a better half, and a family, I got cirrhosis of the liver. I could have had a normal, and probably a good life. Yes, everyone has their problems, mine are my own fault. I could sit around and say this or that caused me my issues, but at the end of the day my miserable life is my own fault.
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Argh. Try not to focus on the past, it'll be hard because you've been through a lot. And hey rock bottom sucks but it can't get any worse. Go easy on yourself, try to get your mind out of the gutter (therapy, exercise, self-care/self-compassion/maybe groups?) Just take it one day at a time, I try to do three major things a day like clean or do an errand etc that kind of thing, sometimes 4 things in a day if I can pull it off and don't have work. Have you got any hobbies? Gaming really helped me quit gear. Weird, I know :)
 
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