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Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

chinup said:
i used to find alcohol euphoric, even just drinking on my own. less so now.

i'm still doing ok with the drinking, drank on friday but we were out, so it is allowed according to me and my boyfs rules. then on sunday i had 2 large cans, my boyf had said he wanted to buy beer at like 6 pm and i talked him down, but ever since he put that in my brain i'd had that niggle that i wanted to drink. so when at 8.30 he announced he was gonna get some beers, i thought fuck it, at least by delaying it 2.5 hours there was less scope for getting really wasted. i'd resisted on saturday when i'd been out with a friend who doesn't drink, and got back to him having a few cans.

he did seem to understand when i explained to him how triggering it is when he suggests to drink or does drnk. i know its my responsibility though, so not sure what to do. just need to get more used to not drinking even if he insists that he will.
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Would you be ok if he did lsd(analogs) or shrooms?
 
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This thread is the perfect example of why I wouldn't get on with AA.

I'd never turn up for the meetings...



But I'm amazed at how many Bluelight alcoholics are now crawling out of the woodwork.


As a bunch of committed drugsters, it seems we are all happy to admit to our drug excesses, but we're reticent to divulge the extent of our alcohol abuse.


I've played it down for years, and am only now starting to admit I've got a problem.

I was more comfortable with heroin addiction than alcohol. I just feel dirty and abused by a substance I hate but cannot control.


How can such a legal and socially acceptable drug suddenly turn totally unacceptable when you start to like it?


(Disclaimer: I'm pissed as a cunt, so although this shit has come from the heart, I'll regret it in the morning...)
 
1: drink
2: almost go into psychosis
3: drink
4: almost go into psychosis
5: drink
6: ????

the saga continues

I FUCKING HATE HOW MUCH I CAN'T STOP EVEN AFTER LITERALLY ALMOST FUCKING... you get it

I'm drinking alcohol which I bought to replace alcohol I stole, didn't even last 2 hours

fuck this disease man, that's truly what it is, a disease, a fucking plague
 
chinup said:
at least by delaying it 2.5 hours there was less scope for getting really wasted. i'd resisted on saturday
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i call these wins anytime.
it helps prepare for the following....
chinup said:
just need to get more used to not drinkin
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:)

i do find that the freakin habit can be just as hard as the dependence to drop.
ya got it figured out and a good lead on it... execute. ;)
lol
love
 
luckily I did not completely lose my shit last night, kept it light at 10 beers

fuck man I really need some sort of help, not like detox, but maybe I should start going to meetings again

I feel rather lonely in my endeavor to be sober (love you guys, but it's not the same as in person support)

I feel very isolated right now from life, and isolation always leads to bad things for me
 
Never think alc.is problem for me.Around me from my childhood alc.was plentiful.People drink and brew his own.Got to know some nice alcoholics from my numerous rehabs.Nice people most of them.There is a smaller group of people that abused alc plus other stuff too.For me alcohol is highly euphoric substance,which can be abused easily,cause its legal.Very,very hard to quitt and stay sober.Like to drink sometimes,but 2-3 days with only a bottle of wine and my liver feels bad.Too much years with hepC.....and just can't drink too much and too often.Ocassional use its good.I still have a nice night moments sometimes with a glass in hand
 
Negentropic said:
replace alcohol I stole, didn't even last 2 hours
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I've been there with the stealing alcohol bit mate.

I'm officially banned from all Asda stores because I was robbing booze out of there every day for months when I was out of work.

Eventually got caught walking out with a bottle of rum in my pocket. I admitted to doing it twice and got a caution.

It's shit...
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
I've been there with the stealing alcohol bit mate.

I'm officially banned from all Asda stores because I was robbing booze out of there every day for months when I was out of work.

Eventually got caught walking out with a bottle of rum in my pocket. I admitted to doing it twice and got a caution.

It's shit...
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There was a period of my life where I was stealing 1-2 bottles of liquor every single day, had a whole system, hit a different store every day. Was caught several times over the years and somehow avoided police every time. I guess I'm charming... and white

I'm not as much as a sneak thief as I used to be, someone left a bunch of beer in the fridge and left for a month, that's what I drank, but still the same shitty feeling

replaced it again today

I hate stealing man, it's not fun anymore it just gives me horrible self thoughts. I guess it was never fun, more exhilarating when my morals were less grounded
 
Negentropic said:
luckily I did not completely lose my shit last night, kept it light at 10 beers

fuck man I really need some sort of help, not like detox, but maybe I should start going to meetings again

I feel rather lonely in my endeavor to be sober (love you guys, but it's not the same as in person support)

I feel very isolated right now from life, and isolation always leads to bad things for me
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Absolutely agree.Isolation lead to bad things.I am isolated from most than 10 years.And mentally all in shit
 
Eeh man, i ended up buying a 2.5L bottle of pissy cheap cider was with almost all the money I have In the world tonight.

Been there with the stealing. Those self-service checkouts make it fairly easy to do a little bit of acting and walk out with a small shop including beers. Whenever I've been huckled I've managed to get away with "whoops, my mistake" but there's one security guard whose on to me, the guy's like fucking Sainsbury's Local Shaft.

If it's any consolation, there's no cooler bunch of alkies I'd rather commiserate with .. we should all go for a drink sometime...
 
well done @F.U.B.A.R. though why are you hanging out with people who give you budweiser and have you vowed never to again?

this week has been uneventful for me. i'm finally getting the hang of natural sleep again. since jan i'd been using dipenhydramine every night, most nights just one of those 25 mg ones, but still. anyway, the past 3 nights i've slept fine with nothing. woohoo!

i have never shoplifted booze, but i have shoplifted food. when i was on the light i did it from the little tescunts at the end of my road so they clocked pretty quick but i still did it when i could. its funny how you can't afford to buy food on the way to buying £100s of crack.
 
Yeah badweiser isn't great like. For some reason it's alright out of the little bottles if they're ice cold but think that's cos I have happy memories of taking acid and drinking a million of them when glamping.

Staring into that fire with a bottle in my hand talking with my new fiancée at the talk end of our trip was amazing.

Out of a tin it tastes like sludgy piss.
 
Alcohol sucks balls. I never would have called myself a drinker because my drinking was always so inconsistent. I'd go for months and even yrs without drinking but the last 3-4 yrs the drinking has become more consistent and over the last yr or so when I do drink every few weeks I will go on massive benders where I consume a handle over a couple of days, sometimes even extending into 4 day double handles and I am now getting multiday hangovers/withdrawal with night terrors/insomnia and horrible morning/day shakes. I gotta stop. This sucks.
 
good luck @somnilicious - alcohol truly does suck. kinda sneaks up on you i find.

i feel like crap today. drank again last night but prompted by my mum, as in she said 'i could kill for a beer' and had been helping us out all day so obviously we had to get her and therefore ourselves a beer.

result is i'm just really tired, spent all day when i could face trying to work just confusing myself and honestly feel like i need to delete a weeks work and start again.

booked myself on to an online retreat for a week starting this friday. i find it so hard to actually listen on zoom, but i'm gonna try. even work zoom meetings i mostly spend on BL. i can't do all of the sessions cos i'm not taking time off work but i'll try to do each evening one and 2 out of 3 on the weekend. hopefully even if i fail at listening mostly, something about what i actually want to be doing and what's good for me will get through.
 
really craving a drink.

pissed off by the same collaborator who always pisses me off at work. i've laid down the law and said we can no longer sign off on work he provides without actually giving us everything we need to validate that it does what he says/what we want. he's not happy. it always puts me in a bad mood having to deal with him. my colleagues are on my side thankfully, its known the work he does is not up to standard.

then, my fucking cat or a neighbourhood cat has taken to shitting on our lawn. not nice. i was scooping it up in my slippers cos i was too lazy to put my shoes on, and there was some hidden under a leaf and i stepped on it.

literally a shitty day.

i'll feel so fucking crap tomorrow if i do. but i'm trying to bargain myself into it. also my period is 4 days late so i did a pregnancy test and it was negative so i feel a bit shit about that but also like well i might as well fucking drink then.
 
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