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Recovery The 2022 alcohol support thread

@chinup I'm sorry that sounds tough :(

I've never had that dynamic in a relationship, only around family when they carelessly drink around me even after I express my situation. Not being able to avoid it in your own house and safe space is maddening.
 
chinup said:
fucking hell i could fucking scream!!

i am so fucking fed up of my boyfriend undermining my attempts at sobriety every single fucking day. i have explained to him in the past that him drinking makes me want to drink. he still goes and buys beer. usually out of our joint account which barely gets enough money in it each month for food after all our bills and i put fucking £1400 a month in, which is more than double what he does, so of course i feel fucking entitled to consume shit that is paid for out of there. but more than the money its just so fucking triggering.

so i have lost it with him, he's tried to come upstairs twice and i just have to tell him to get the fuck out of my sight.

his excuse is that he didn't know it was upsetting me so much. i pointed out to him that if i sat and drank in front of him he would probably want a beer and he agreed. then he tries to shift responsibility by saying 'well you were upstairs when i opened it' well its MY FUCKING HOUSE TOO I CAN FUCKING COME DOWNSTAIRS WHENEVER I FUCKING WANT. i have tried to communicate it to him over and over again and he just does not get the fucking memo until i fucking lose my fucking shit. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

he agrees he does not want me to get back to how i was in december and then escalate from there. his mum is hands down the worst alcoholic i've ever seen and he knows i take addiction to extreme levels so this is not an idle threat. i destroyed him so much that he either tried to kill himself or just took a massively wreckless drug combo when i was on the light and dark so i don't know why he'd want to risk ending up like that again.

so now i wanna drink but i also will be so pissed if i give up after kicking this much of a fuss up. he tried to pass it off as 'its alright cos i only got one' well how the fuck precisely is that alright? tbh i feel like he just bought the one cos he knew i'd see it, then want to drink, and then get us both beer out of the joint account. but i am the one who inevitably tops up the joint account when it runs out of money and i'm fucking done paying for something i fundamentally don't want to be doing.

annoying thing is, its unlikely to change a thing. he will have some bullshit excuse next time. urgh i just need to calm down.

i know i have to do this on my own fundamentally but i could use some fucking help.
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Sorry to hear that @chinup But your inability to cope when he's drinking just highlights the level of your own addiction. With determination you will get to the stage where you won't be triggered by his drinking. Although I'm still far from being teetotal, I now have regular periods where I just don't want to drink, regardless of those around me. When I quit heroin, the wife wasn't quite ready yet, so I went out scoring for her and watched her doing it without any triggering at all.

It's a psychological state you have to achieve which only comes when you are willing to fully admit and face your addiction.

God, it wasn't too long ago that I only had to see a can of beer and I fuckin wanted it there and then. Now I can happily go and buy wife a bottle of fuckin Lambrini with no desire to partake myself.

Having said all that, I'm currently balls deep in a bottle of vodka combined with the residual stimulation from an exceptionally good pill last night.


But if I can do it, so can you.

Hang in there love....
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Sorry to hear that @chinup But your inability to cope when he's drinking just highlights the level of your own addiction.
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well fuck you for being fucking right fubs. i guess i didn't wanna view it that way but its the truth.

you're killing it. i hope to get there soon. you are honestly doing so well, even if you are balls deep in a bottle of vodka.

even recently i've had phases where my boyf drinking doesn't trigger me quite so much, but when i was doing complete abstinence i wasn't arsed. it was just annoying cos he is less fun to be around when he's been drinking and i've not. its easier when i'm not exhausted and in a bad mood.

i have been trying to do the positive things, running, sorting out the garden. drank most of a bottle of gin yesterday in two lots with a (planned, not accidental due to daytime drinking) 4 hour nap in between. but i still managed to entertain my mum today so not that arsed.

@simstim well done!! anyone is welcome any time. you're putting us all to shame by actually succeeding in your abstinence!! i was so dead set at the start of the year, i've reined it in enough for it not to be a massive problem any more which is making it hard to motivate myself to fully stop, even though i know deep down that's what i want.
 
simstim said:
Hey everybody. I know I'm late signing up, but is anyone else still not drinking?

I haven't had a drop since the tenth of February.
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I'm trying. After a lengthy period of a couple months probably of drinking about a fifth of vodka a day, I decided I'd be better off not imbibing, as I need to be on my ps and qs in order to get my life out of the dumps. I did well for a couple days, and then slipped up friday. Ending up drinking too much and being hungover saturday. It sucked and it was enough to motivate me to get back to not drinking at all.
 
Yeah I had shared a coupla doves of hard the other day with an associate and he gave me an ice cold beer. By habit I popped the top and started drinking. Drank half on first "sip" (was thirsty). This thread came to mind immediately after tipping the can down. Said I was goin for a walk and poured the rest out. Offered more on return but turned it down with some bs excuse about the bubbles were fuckin me up.
Pretty decent hard, though. lol
Just gotta keep that shit in check for reals. :rolleyes:
 
Of all the drugs known to man, there is only one capable of raising five, sometimes six, of the eight neurotransmitters that shape the way we experience life. That drug is alcohol. We in the detoxification profession refer to it as the "mother of all drugs" or the "kick-ass drug". The pharmaceutical industry has never produced a drug as all encompassing in its effect as alcohol.

.......

Alcohol is the ultimate stimulant for the brain. To date, we know of no other agent that comes close to matching its power; alcohol’s effect on the human body is unprecedented. This influential drug is ultra-powerful as a neurotransmitter agonist. It moves the brain’s neurochemicals like no other drug on the planet.


--Dr Fred Von Stieff
Brain In Balance: Understanding the Genetics and Neurochemistry Behind Addiction and Sobriety
 
i quit on feb 28! drank my last drink on my birthday. it's been 49 days (think i counted that right) and ive never been so clear minded and motivated. i feel better about the way i treat my family and friends. feel better about a lot of the decisions i make. and save 800 bucks a month or more. feels good :)
 
well guess who fucked up their stomach so much by drinking at mpf that they had to go home and die, thus missing a wilhelm scream, who apparently played one of the best sets of any bands ever.

ffs. so my body will be mposing a break now otherwise it will just get worse and worse.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Fuck, what were you drinking @chinup ?
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just beer, not even oranjeboom black, normal strength beer. from about 3pm-11pm for 3 days. i didn't eat much on friday cos i was doing mystery stimulants, it was already bad by the time i got home that eve. it was actually ok-ish yesterday up until i chose to do mystery stimulants so i think its the combination that fucked me, even though i actually made sure to eat sensibly.

i have an erosion in my stomach due to drinking on an empty stomach years back. when i was truly stupid with booze. i.e. i would start on the spirits on friday eve, then drink continuously all weekend without eating. funnily enough part of how i conned myself into thinking heroin was a sensible thing to do is that it gave me great symptomatic relief and made me crave booze less.

anyway, booze+25 years of disordered eating means my stomach is a bit of a prissy little cunt and it will make my life intolerable at the slightest provocation.
 
Arnold said:
What happens in the stomach is also a result of what happens between the ears.
It ain't just the booze imo.

Hence the saying 'sick to the stomach'.
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Yeh, it's hard to tell how much influence your mind has over your body and vice versa.


I'm a great believer in the importance of a healthy gut microbiome. However, I've no idea how to promote that, only that mine seems quite resilient.


But perhaps the saying 'Eat shit' has never been truer?
 
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