Stimulants The 2021 BL Methamphetamine Issues Questionnaire

[Jabberwocky]

This survey is an attempt to understand how big an issue meth is for currently active BL members. As a (hopefully) former meth user I am aware that we can make a disproportionate amount of noise so am looking for a bit of quantitative data on meth and the BL population.

Please respond to the poll and feel free to elaborate on your answer in a post.

Please also feel free to comment on whether you think BL has good Harm Reduction resources for methamphetamine.

Suggestions for additional survey questions welcome for the next few days.

For clarity and consistency ‘currently’ means anytime in 2021.

 

[Bella Figura]

I haven't used it in 4 months since December 2020 - so does that mean I no longer use it? I don't really crave meth, isn't my DOC, I might use it a couple of times a year max, so it's not exactly that I don't see myself ever using it again, but I also don't count the days till I do. It's very much a take it or leave it thing for me. I suppose I might be more likely to use Amphetamine Sulphate just because it's cheaper and allows me to sleep easier. But I enjoy Meth more.

In the past, I have gone through periods of bingeing on it, but I quickly learned that the weight loss, sleep deprivation and chaos that ensued wasn't worth it, now I limit myself to one day or night of use if I do use it so I can recover as fast as possible.

 

[OpiateKiller]

I’m about as much of a drug addict as one can be and for some reason meth never dug it’s hooks in me like amphetamines or heroin did.

I can’t really comment why except for how strong it is and how a day of use kept me high for 4 days and I needed 3 days after that to recover..

However this last relapse I used meth one-two days a week for about 10 weeks and that was a lot for me.

I will say though I have no cravings for meth other than my sexual desires but I don’t really crave meth for that much as I do MDMA or ghb (being sober atm).

Then again I did wash half an ounce down a hotel shower after the front desk called me asking why I kept walking out of
My room and back in (was staring out my peep hole day 5 of no sleep).

Maybe I just couldn’t handle the substance. Idk.

But I did have a 3 month period of 90-210 mg adderall just about everyday and by the end of that my need for good sleep and food was unfathomable

 

[Vagabond696]

Use semi regular to combat fatigue. Planning on quitting but confident I can do it myself as I'm in control of my usage.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I voted . My sincere hope that anyone fighting this demon is successful. Seems to be worse than heroin, cigarettes, coffee, gambling, porn, just all the other addictions that are very hard to quit. Seems to be no adequate MMT to help and the relapse rates after rehab are close to 90%. Damn insidious that bitch is and her claws are longer than any Grizzly I've seen. I mean it guys and gals. I wish you strength. I hope you all learn to hate it in the future as much as you love it now.

 

[Pillsbury dopegirl]

I hadn't used ice since frebruary 2018 when I was a functional user for about a month before deciding I was becoming too dependent. I relapsed about 10 days ago when I found out a regular customer of mine was dealing in real pure rock hard ice. I kind of just dove in and I've been going through like a gram a day. I've overamped 3 times at work and my performance is severely lacking at my job where I work 53 hours a week.

Luckily she also has klonopin on hand so except for the first couple days I've slept really well.

Eating, that's another story. I've dropped roughly 15 pounds and I'm always shaking. My boss and my manager noticed the weight loss and he made a comment on it yesterday. I told him I've been really watching what I eat because I gained 30 pounds over the winter and I want to get it back off.

I suspect he's on to me though and if I don't get this under control I'm going to be utterly fist fucked.

I still have 2 grams. I want to taper down to lower doses and maybe I can be more functional.

I have ADHD and vyvanse worked really well but unfortunately through hospital and psych visits my reputation for substance abuse(alcohol, benzos, Coke, any pill i could get my hands on, methamphetamine etc.) and mental health deem me ineligible for those meds.

I'm feeling really lost and I'm terrified of not only coming down, but having to feel the painful emotions that are deeply seeded in my conscience after a lifetime of complete mind fuckery.

Thanks for anyone who read my story. I needed to vent.

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

I hadn't used ice since frebruary 2018 when I was a functional user for about a month before deciding I was becoming too dependent. I relapsed about 10 days ago when I found out a regular customer of mine was dealing in real pure rock hard ice. I kind of just dove in and I've been going through like a gram a day. I've overamped 3 times at work and my performance is severely lacking at my job where I work 53 hours a week.

Luckily she also has klonopin on hand so except for the first couple days I've slept really well.

Eating, that's another story. I've dropped roughly 15 pounds and I'm always shaking. My boss and my manager noticed the weight loss and he made a comment on it yesterday. I told him I've been really watching what I eat because I gained 30 pounds over the winter and I want to get it back off.

I suspect he's on to me though and if I don't get this under control I'm going to be utterly fist fucked.

I still have 2 grams. I want to taper down to lower doses and maybe I can be more functional.

I have ADHD and vyvanse worked really well but unfortunately through hospital and psych visits my reputation for substance abuse(alcohol, benzos, Coke, any pill i could get my hands on, methamphetamine etc.) and mental health deem me ineligible for those meds.

I'm feeling really lost and I'm terrified of not only coming down, but having to feel the painful emotions that are deeply seeded in my conscience after a lifetime of complete mind fuckery.

Thanks for anyone who read my story. I needed to vent.

Well, you either do it, or don't do it - there's no taper down....stop and yes it's gonna be in your head, and less everyday, but you'll start feeling better everyday, and then once that starts happening, you'll be happier that you're feeling better overall, and you'll be done....there's really nothing good about it anyway

if you can, dump those 2 grams - that's the way to go - it's all mental so that's the only withdrawal you're gonna have

you're gonna feel better everyday, so look forward to that and recognize it

 

[Pillsbury dopegirl]

Thank you for your reassuring input

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

Thank you for your reassuring input

main thing, you're gonna feel better - like a lot better

call it a day....you slipped up, it happens to the best of us, but you wanna feel better now....and you absolutely will - no doubt about it

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I hadn't used ice since frebruary 2018 when I was a functional user for about a month before deciding I was becoming too dependent. I relapsed about 10 days ago when I found out a regular customer of mine was dealing in real pure rock hard ice. I kind of just dove in and I've been going through like a gram a day. I've overamped 3 times at work and my performance is severely lacking at my job where I work 53 hours a week.

Luckily she also has klonopin on hand so except for the first couple days I've slept really well.

Eating, that's another story. I've dropped roughly 15 pounds and I'm always shaking. My boss and my manager noticed the weight loss and he made a comment on it yesterday. I told him I've been really watching what I eat because I gained 30 pounds over the winter and I want to get it back off.

I suspect he's on to me though and if I don't get this under control I'm going to be utterly fist fucked.

I still have 2 grams. I want to taper down to lower doses and maybe I can be more functional.

I have ADHD and vyvanse worked really well but unfortunately through hospital and psych visits my reputation for substance abuse(alcohol, benzos, Coke, any pill i could get my hands on, methamphetamine etc.) and mental health deem me ineligible for those meds.

I'm feeling really lost and I'm terrified of not only coming down, but having to feel the painful emotions that are deeply seeded in my conscience after a lifetime of complete mind fuckery.

Thanks for anyone who read my story. I needed to vent.

My heart goes out to you. Like you said the consequences of continuing to use at work are gonna be bad. Lose your job because of it and you may not stop after those 2 grams cause you are gonna be depressed as shit for getting fired. Sucks you quit in 2018 and the devil tempted you back with the good product.

You can start lowering what you consume at work so you can function better and your boss can see you are getting better. Yeah, when you have a diagnosis and used to take meds, then get denied them, we do what we can as we can't get it in pharm form. Hence the meth,

You sound like you know what you need to do and just need to bite the bullet, Good thing you have access to klonopin and maybe some kratom could help with the comedowns. I'm rootin for ya. Won't be easy but it sounds like you want to keep your job and get your life back.

 

[Pillsbury dopegirl]

That right there is some solid advice. Thank you

 

[KaliSMeth&stuff]

Without meth I feel like I wouldnt be able to work or at least function at work cause meth helps me focus, function and be a bit more calmer (I have diagnosed ADHD but cant get meds prescribed). When I first started using meth I went downhill quickly but after getting stable housing & settled into having a place (took a few years) where I could sleep more easily & also have meals helped me reduce my use to a stable amount that I have been able to maintain for 2 years. Mostly cause my use is maintenance I dont get high like I use too. If I end up having to not use the withdrawal is not fun its almost similar to opioid withdrawal & also I fall into a really dark place.
So hope that kinda explains why I currently use meth, fine with my use and dont plan on stopping anytime soon

 

[CFC]

This survey is an attempt to understand how big an issue meth is for currently active BL members. As a (hopefully) former meth user I am aware that we can make a disproportionate amount of noise so am looking for a bit of quantitative data on meth and the BL population.

Please respond to the poll and feel free to elaborate on your answer in a post.

Please also feel free to comment on whether you think BL has good Harm Reduction resources for methamphetamine.

Suggestions for additional survey questions welcome for the next few days.

For clarity and consistency ‘currently’ means anytime in 2021.

I love it and used to crave it pretty badly when I was taking a break, to the extent that it would cause me to start up again and ruin my efforts at long-term sobriety.

However, after being legitimately prescribed vyvanse (d-amp) for ADHD, and having disposed of all easy-to-reach meth contacts, the craving had completely passed within a year and I no longer think of it at all.

This is not an entirely positive development though, since I now binge the vyvanse instead, from time to time, and that desire is probably almost as strong.

But vyvanse is far less moreish than meth, for me, particularly considering its comparably boring and slow ROA (I used to love the act of smoking meth, as y'all can likely imagine...). And so ultimately I do feel more functional/productive and less controlled by dysfunctional drug habits than back in my meth days.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Interesting the results are quite varied.

 

[lizziemetta]

I hadn't used ice since frebruary 2018 when I was a functional user for about a month before deciding I was becoming too dependent. I relapsed about 10 days ago when I found out a regular customer of mine was dealing in real pure rock hard ice. I kind of just dove in and I've been going through like a gram a day. I've overamped 3 times at work and my performance is severely lacking at my job where I work 53 hours a week.

Luckily she also has klonopin on hand so except for the first couple days I've slept really well.

Eating, that's another story. I've dropped roughly 15 pounds and I'm always shaking. My boss and my manager noticed the weight loss and he made a comment on it yesterday. I told him I've been really watching what I eat because I gained 30 pounds over the winter and I want to get it back off.

I suspect he's on to me though and if I don't get this under control I'm going to be utterly fist fucked.

I still have 2 grams. I want to taper down to lower doses and maybe I can be more functional.

I have ADHD and vyvanse worked really well but unfortunately through hospital and psych visits my reputation for substance abuse(alcohol, benzos, Coke, any pill i could get my hands on, methamphetamine etc.) and mental health deem me ineligible for those meds.

I'm feeling really lost and I'm terrified of not only coming down, but having to feel the painful emotions that are deeply seeded in my conscience after a lifetime of complete mind fuckery.

Thanks for anyone who read my story. I needed to vent.

Good luck! I know that feeling all too well. When you see the bottom coming and you know you gotta slow down. So scary. I pray you can do it and stay in good standing with your boss

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Goddamn poll has closed. I was going to vote for the only option that has no vote.

I'm derermined to try meth, even if it kills me...